re: Chelsea Handler reveals she had two abortions as a teen

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even more reason why aborting was probably the best option

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Yeah, but we were talking about why she was defined as a slut, not pros and cons of abortion. That dude said that the OP was stating every 16 year old HS girl was a slut. I was saying that having sex and 2 pregnancies, 2 abortions, 1 year is not the same as all hs girls having sex.

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Adoptive parents can. Make adoptions easier/cheaper for couples. Unless you go the foster parent route and try to adopt a child in foster care...you are looking at at LEAST 20k out of pocket. Money for something that isn't guaranteed. The bio mom or family changes their mind at the last minute...it's not like you get a refund on that.

If adoption wasn't going to cost me 20-50K of money that I currently don't have....I would gladly adopt the baby of a scared 16 year old that was just trying to act like an adult by having sex.

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Didn't really think about this, but I would have to agree with this. I don't know what is all involved in the adoption process. Isn't there different type of agencies? It seems like making people pay that kind of money for something that isn't guaranteed is taking advantage of vulnerable people. So if someone pays that amount and doesn't get the child, they don't get a refund?

I remember watching an episode of American Greed and there was a guy running an adoption scam. He was reaching out to people looking to adopt, he would falsify documents that showed the appropriate paperwork, provide the parents with updates of the mother and then when it got close to 9 months he would tell them the mother decided to keep it or that there was an unexpected problem with the pregnancy and the baby died, etc. He was caught doing this, with the same story to people in several different states. It seems like churches would have some type of program that would handle the process more ethically.

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If adoption wasn't going to cost me 20-50K of money that I currently don't have....I would gladly adopt the baby of a scared 16 year old that was just trying to act like an adult by having sex.

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I am sure you could go to the hood in BR with 10k cash money and find a pregnant chick to give up her baby after she had it no problem.

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are you ok with Plan B and do you consider taking Plan B murder?

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I have no problem with Plan B and don't really view it that much different then other birth control.

I'm also not 100% against abortion though, I just don't like when people use it to fix their mistakes time and time again. This also tells me they obviously don't care about STDs and likely spread them without knowing.

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I don't know what is all involved in the adoption process. Isn't there different type of agencies?

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There is. I don't know specifics of each agency. I just know that the cheapest way to adopt is to become a foster parent and you potentially adopt a child in the system. Which means you are adopting a child/baby that has either been abused/neglected, has severe medical issues that the parent cannot care for....or was a drug baby. So there are things to consider there(behavioral and health issues with the child, etc).



Friends of mine just adopted a baby. Crazy story...friend of a friend knew a young woman that was pregnant and wanted to give the baby up. My friends were introduced to the woman and she wanted her baby to go to them. So the adoptive agencies got involved AFTER that....so my friends didn't have to pay as much $$$$ to adopt(which is good cause they could not have afforded it). However...they still had to go through the process. Which is emotionally exhausting. They do intensive background checks on the parents and very thorough interviews. They visit your home several times. Question you on all kinds of stuff. Basically find ANY skeletons you have in your closet...parade them in front of you...and question you over and over about it. My friend's husband lost his home in foreclosure in 2008 when AZ was hit hard by the housing crisis....they shoved that in his face and tried making that seem a factor that could mean he wouldn't be a good parent. They obviously passed...but the adoption STILL isn't finalized. It's a long process.


Which means it could still technically NOT go through and they would have to give up the baby they have loved and cared for all this time.

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I like the idea of adoption, rather than abortion. But isn't there a saturation point?

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Sure, but we're not there yet. Apparently 135,000 adoptions occur annually in the US, despite the overwhelming price tag for many people. Lowering the costs should increase those numbers.

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Apparently 135,000 adoptions occur annually in the US

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Do those include US couples that adopt outside of the US.


Many go the international route not only cause they feel like they are literally saving a child's life that way...but also because many times those children are actual orphans...without a bio family to potentially change their mind at the last minute. It's less red tape for the couples sometimes and that is what makes it more appealing.

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Do those include US couples that adopt outside of the US.

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I believe it does.

My issue with abortion is that many pro-choice advocates toss around the idea that you cannot determine when life begins, but they usually draw the line at the 1st trimester or the 2nd trimester. If you're going to kill an unborn child, what difference does it make if it's 12 weeks old or 39 weeks old? In essence, if you're pro-choice, I find it hard to understand the logic behind drawing the line at any point before actual birth.

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Friends of mine just adopted a baby. Crazy story...friend of a friend knew a young woman that was pregnant and wanted to give the baby up. My friends were introduced to the woman and she wanted her baby to go to them. So the adoptive agencies got involved AFTER that....so my friends didn't have to pay as much $$$$ to adopt(which is good cause they could not have afforded it). However...they still had to go through the process. Which is emotionally exhausting. They do intensive background checks on the parents and very thorough interviews. They visit your home several times. Question you on all kinds of stuff. Basically find ANY skeletons you have in your closet...parade them in front of you...and question you over and over about it. My friend's husband lost his home in foreclosure in 2008 when AZ was hit hard by the housing crisis....they shoved that in his face and tried making that seem a factor that could mean he wouldn't be a good parent. They obviously passed...but the adoption STILL isn't finalized. It's a long process.

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I know you can never be too careful, but any couple willing to pay to adopt is likely a better option than the kid staying with a parent that doesn't want the child. So a 16 yr old can go sleep around and get knocked up without having to show anyone she can care for the child, etc, but the family looking to adopt a child has to go through the mill before they can just be likely to adopt the child. Charging that amount of money just seems criminal.

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It seems to me that even if expectant mothers were willing to carry their unwanted child to term and give it away for free, there still wouldn't be enough competent/suitable adoptive parents.

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There wouldn't be enough homes, you're right. As I said earlier, there is a moral and an economical argument. I think you can argue that a child born into poverty is still better than a child who isn't born at all.