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Started By
Message
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:40 am to SirWinston
quote:
That's really good advice - I appreciate it.
its actually horrible advice, letting this girl know this guy OR ANY GUY bothers you is the biggest relationship mistake one can make.
You think a genuine alpha leader like Brad Pitt would be bothered by another man (lol)?
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:41 am to SirWinston
Interesting- you haven't listed any reasons you dig this chick. I think you're forcing things.
If a chick was passionate about composting and since I barely know what composting is, I don't think the chick and I would connect much less would I be planning psych warfare against her lame arse nerd friend.
Said another way- I don't think you even like this girl.
If a chick was passionate about composting and since I barely know what composting is, I don't think the chick and I would connect much less would I be planning psych warfare against her lame arse nerd friend.
Said another way- I don't think you even like this girl.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:42 am to rocket31
quote:
Your girl is always going to desire the genuine alpha no matter what you do.
Telling her to stop is only going to perpetuate her desires.
She is genetically programmed to seek his seed.
Id say good luck, but there is not much hope. '
Just be lucky your girl isnt that attractive or the genuine alpha would have chosen her and not placed her into the friendzone.
Surprise surprise, more terrible advice from this website.
If you really want to keep your girl then you'll never do it by out-manning this guy, he's got you beat in every way. The only way you'll keep her is to show you're more sensitive than he is. Have a heart-felt conversation over some apple-tinis and tell her how much it kills you to know that she's fawning over a more desirable man. Try and take her out for pedicures and shite, and for God's sake never stop talking about your feelings. Cry every chance you get whether it's happy crying, sad crying or if you just start thinking about a movie you saw, just cry. Chicks love criers.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:44 am to SirWinston
quote:
I am definitely insecure in this situation. How should I address this IYO?
Just administer a ten to fifteen second burst of lefts and rights to his head. Establish your ground and stand it!
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:45 am to rocket31
quote:
its actually horrible advice, letting this girl know this guy OR ANY GUY bothers you is the biggest relationship mistake one can make.
It's never wrong telling a person how you feel. It's not a sign of weakness. It's showing self respect.
quote:
You think a genuine alpha leader like Brad Pitt would be bothered by another man (lol)?
Nope, he'd just tell the girl he's unhappy with the way she shows too much interest in another guy. Either she would quit or change her ways. The issue takes care of itself once it's dealt with in a direct manner.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:45 am to SirWinston
It sounds like you're extremely insecure and jealous. Both of those are relationship killers. And if you see him as a threat and get uptight everytime you're around him, and your girlfriend already knows this, you have a serious issue. At some point human nature will kick in.
How long have yall been dating and how old is each party involved?
ETA:
You need to smoke that dude one day. You need to win battles over him. I don't think you need to punch him, but make him look like an a-hole. It's a careful art. If you're overconfident or overbearing it'll drive your girlfriend to care for him like a wounded animal. If you engage him and he defeats you it'll cause your girl to leave. You need to set a situation where you give him enough rope to hang himself then let him do it on his own.
quote:
Any suggestions or tips for how to handle this - I really don't want to keep hanging out with this dude.
How long have yall been dating and how old is each party involved?
ETA:
You need to smoke that dude one day. You need to win battles over him. I don't think you need to punch him, but make him look like an a-hole. It's a careful art. If you're overconfident or overbearing it'll drive your girlfriend to care for him like a wounded animal. If you engage him and he defeats you it'll cause your girl to leave. You need to set a situation where you give him enough rope to hang himself then let him do it on his own.
This post was edited on 11/24/14 at 6:52 am
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:47 am to Enadious
quote:
's never wrong telling a person how you feel. It's not a sign of weakness.
I cannot think of one positive coming from telling out girlfriend "I'm insecure around that guy because I'm afraid you'll bang him at any second and everytime he's around I feel small and scared"
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:49 am to Breesus
quote:
I cannot think of one positive coming from telling out girlfriend "I'm insecure around that guy because I'm afraid you'll bang him at any second and everytime he's around I feel small and scared"
If he does it while sobbing, it could show that he's sensitive and save the relationship. Worth a shot.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:49 am to Enadious
quote:
It's never wrong telling a person how you feel. It's not a sign of weakness. It's showing self respect.



Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:49 am to efrad
quote:
Do you go down on your gf? If so, how does his cum taste?

Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:51 am to SirWinston
I've read through and I'm going with arse pennies FTW.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:52 am to SirWinston
quote:
This is probably fair. I think highly of myself, but when I meet a guy who I feel is my either "better" or is thought of as "better" or "more desirable" than me I instantly feel like I'm not sexy, smart, interesting, funny, etc.
It definitely stems from self esteem issues that I've battled much of my life. In some respects my insecurities have driven and motivated me and helped me to stand out. But in instances such as this one they torment me.
Not only is she not the one for you, you're not the one for her. If you were, she wouldn't be so enamored of him. If you convince her that you're the one and she believes it, it will only be temporary. Even if she marries you, she will always be enamored of other, more secure, more powerful men. You need to find the girl who thinks you are the one who hung the moon.
This post was edited on 11/24/14 at 6:55 am
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:53 am to SirWinston
you should plan some dates or weekend trips elsewhere instead of just letting her make all the plans..
additionally, remember the tao of steve:
1. Be desire-less (act like you don't care)
2. Be excellent in her presence
3. Retreat
additionally, remember the tao of steve:
1. Be desire-less (act like you don't care)
2. Be excellent in her presence
3. Retreat
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:53 am to SirWinston
quote:
How? I don't know what this means.
You can't. You ARE Beta. You have mentioned a few times now in your post that you are in THIS situation. Fact is, you are in most situations. Either nut up or go go fetal.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:54 am to SirWinston
quote:
This is probably fair. I think highly of myself
Maybe you don't.
quote:
but when I meet a guy who I feel is my either "better" or is thought of as "better" or "more desirable" than me I instantly feel like I'm not sexy, smart, interesting, funny, etc.
If you were secure in yourself, then you wouldn't see other guys as completion. You'd just see them as having other skill sets. We're all different. All women are different. Dating is not a contest where men have to outdo other men. Dating is about finding women who you are compatible with. From there, it's about 'can we build a relationship.'
quote:
It definitely stems from self esteem issues that I've battled much of my life. In some respects my insecurities have driven and motivated me and helped me to stand out. But in instances such as this one they torment me.
And this is the problem in a nutshell. It's about your self esteem. You have to come to grips with who you are, what you are, and certainly what's in your power of what you can be. You need to become comfortable in your own skin, and stop comparing yourself to others. Take the attitude of 'frick the other guy,' and concentrate on just being you. Women will come, and you'll be happier with the ones who are drawn to you.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:55 am to Clint Torres
This whole thread makes me glad to be 51 years old and married 26 years. I can't imagine having to go through these little dances, again. That said, I hope this all works out for you.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:55 am to Jreily85
Yeah its respect until she's alone with him one time and he hits on in her and she says you know my boyfriend is scared of you and since the guy is apparently a social magnet alpha who is adored by the GF, then he'll spin that into sex rather quickly.
Just treat your girl right. Buy her little presents, take her to nice dinners, get her flowers, do these things often and make them random. Shown her you're worth being with. Building yourself up in always better than tearing someone else down.
Just treat your girl right. Buy her little presents, take her to nice dinners, get her flowers, do these things often and make them random. Shown her you're worth being with. Building yourself up in always better than tearing someone else down.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 6:58 am to Breesus
quote:
I cannot think of one positive coming from telling out girlfriend "I'm insecure around that guy because I'm afraid you'll bang him at any second and everytime he's around I feel small and scared"
I can't either if I said it that way.
Try this: Hey, you spend way too much time with so and so when we go out. I've had about enough of that. I'm tired trying to entertain myself when we're around that group. So unless things change, I'm not going to meet up with them anymore.
And, I don't want you to bring this guy up all the time. I don't give a shite about him. And to me, you're showing way too much interest in him. It needs to stop.
From there, the situation will work itself out.
Posted on 11/24/14 at 7:00 am to SirWinston
The worst thing you can do is tell her you don't like her hanging out with this guy. It will immediately backfire on you and she will either hang out with him more or just start to view you as deeply insecure and less of a man.
You have 2 real options:
1.) Remove/Block any emotional attachment to her. Start this process now. Once this happens she will begin to realize that her flirting with him doesn't bother you at all and she needs to find some other angle. Additionally, you will begin to flirt with other girls and she will get jealous. Remember, the person who cares less is always in control.
2.) You need to face this guy head on and win. As another poster said, you need to set this guy up and then let him hang himself. Not sure how this will play out word for word, but you need to start planning it now.
But under any circumstances, do not tell her that this guy makes you feel weak and insecure....because then she will view you as weak and insecure.
You have 2 real options:
1.) Remove/Block any emotional attachment to her. Start this process now. Once this happens she will begin to realize that her flirting with him doesn't bother you at all and she needs to find some other angle. Additionally, you will begin to flirt with other girls and she will get jealous. Remember, the person who cares less is always in control.
2.) You need to face this guy head on and win. As another poster said, you need to set this guy up and then let him hang himself. Not sure how this will play out word for word, but you need to start planning it now.
But under any circumstances, do not tell her that this guy makes you feel weak and insecure....because then she will view you as weak and insecure.
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