Beyond They/Them: Expect to be forced to use 'Neopronouns' for people craving attention

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Xe/xem, ze/zir, and fae/faer are catching on as alternatives for transgender and nonbinary people

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While standing in line for the Spaceship Earth ride at EPCOT a few years ago, Hex, now 28, scrolled through Twitter to help pass time, pausing to look at “ze/zis” listed in someone’s bio. Hex’s wife explained what that meant, that those were an example of neopronouns — a new category of pronouns that are used in place of she/her, he/him, and they/them. Hex’s initial reaction “wasn’t the kindest.”

After coming out as transgender in 2014, Hex initially used he/him pronouns in order to avoid the inevitable conversations about the singular use of “they,” even though that didn’t feel like a good fit either. “I don’t really vibe with gender at all,” Hex tells Rolling Stone. “I don’t feel like I’m anything. I’m the culmination of my lived experience.”

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Now, Hex uses xe/xir pronouns. “They allow me to feel like, yes, I have masculine and feminine sides to me, but I’m also almost like an alien as far as the world of gender goes,” xe says. “It allows me to actually feel like I’m being true to myself when all other labels didn’t fit.”

And Hex isn’t alone. With greater awareness and increasing acceptance of gender identities beyond simply “male” and “female,” people are opting to use pronouns that reflect that nuance. The first to gain traction in English (at least in the 21st century) was the singular use of “they/them,” which the Associated Press added to its Stylebook in 2017, and two years later, was named Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Year.

But the use of the singular “they” still limited people to three pronoun categories, despite there being far more gender identities. And that’s where neopronouns like xe/xir, ze/zir, and fae/faer come in. Here’s what to know about neopronouns in the English language, including a look back at their long history, and the crucial role they play in allowing people to express their genuine identity.

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