re: Best way to get rid of ingrown toenail?

Stop chewing them and you'll stop getting ingrown nails

I've cut out three myself. Mustache scissors and a towel for the blood followed by peroxide. Not shitting you.

Soak it in hot water then use a sterile sharp object and dig it out baw

Soak it in Epsom salt .. It cures everything

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Cut a "v" in the middle of the toenail's exposed edge. You will probably need a razor blade or exacto knife for this, although I've done it with clippers. Doesn't need to be anything big. The nail will grow towards the center and away from the edges. Same as the suggestion for filing it.

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Nails grow from the matrix (the base of the nail), longitudinally. So all this cutting a v in the middle making the distal most aspect of the nail somehow grow "inward" towards your cut is 100% factually incorrect and physiologically impossible.

personally I would go see a podiatrist and have it removed. If you want to take care of it yourself without a 1 minute office procedure, you can simply put a tiny amount of triple antibiotic ointment on the border that's ingrown, daily, and let the nail continue to grow out. This sometimes will soften up the skin enough to decrease the irritation and soft tissue swelling along the nail border that is actually causing the nail to be "ingrown"

I wouldn't call it surgery, but they give you a couple shots of lidocaine, snip the toenail vertically down the middle, and then pull off the ingrown side of the nail. It leaves you with half a toenail.

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got poked by a shrimp

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. That's probably just a flesh eating bacterial infection.

Eyeglasses screw driver FTW

not sure if you got an answer or not, anyways;

Baking Soda and Spirits of Camphor
Using a little baking soda and spirits of camphor usually works. Each evening put a little under the nail, - it will remove them and have no bad effects! Moisten baking soda with spirits of camphor. Put this in a very little bit of cotton and push under the edge of the nail each evening, with a toothpick or something similar. Leave a little bit out of the nail so that you can remove the cotton!

it is not overnight, but should do the job just the same...