re: Besides your kids, have you ever loaned money to someone and not been paid back?

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Besides your kids, have you ever loaned money to someone and not been paid back?

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Not really. I was privately asked by a brother in law (married to my wife's sister) to loan him some money once. I gave him the money and told him at the time I didn't want to be paid back. He insisted he would but he never did. In my mind it was a manual gift from the get go, so it didn't cause any trouble.

Anytime I loan money I expect to not get paid.

I borrowed 20 bucks from my sister 40 years ago and never paid her back. Every time I call or see her she brings up about the money and I tell her I already paid it back.

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whore of an ex-wife

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take an upvote for dragging her as a side plot to the post.

I had a friend I took on a cruise. Last day he had a panic attack and against my advice went to the ship doctor. It was $400 to see doctor he had no money so I had to pay bill.
He never paid. One day he started talking shite about me to a friend. So I went and kicked his arse. I felt bad because I broke one of his ribs. So I let the money go. We didn't talk for years. But are cool now.

If it’s a really close friend or family member, I wouldn’t want to be paid back. And I wouldn’t loan money to anyone who isn’t a very close friend or family member.

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Plus a myriad of people who are just really comfortable always letting me pay for things.

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My wife and kids are the worst

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I guess I'm just wired differently. It would keep me up at night knowing that I owed someone money. I understand owing the bank on a mortgage or large ticket item, but owing an individual, particularly a friend or relative would drive me nuts until I made them whole.

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I'm the same way. I have an uncle who would lay it out there for his kids and his nieces and nephews. Most of them stiffed him multiple times. I never have; paid him back at my first opportunity. Fast forward 30 years and he's more generous with me than the rest of them. Treating people right does come back around.

Yes. Had an acquaintance who I knew well for a couple of years. He was always a solid guy. The kind of guy who, although I knew him a short time, I knew he could be my phone call from jail or broke down on the side of the road.

4 years ago, he asked for $1,000. I was torn for a while. I thought “how could this grown man ask for money?”

Then I figured he must have really needed it for something. I was figuring if he was asking, something is up. Lights about to be cut off, car about to be repossessed, gambling debt, something he has to hide from his family, etc.

Reluctantly, I told him I’d lend him $500, hoping he was really in a jam. I couldn’t feel comfortable with $1000. I didn’t ask questions. I really put all my thoughts into him being in some type of pickle. He was so gracious and said he would take anything. Met me right away.

A few months go by and I barely see him, which is normal. We didn’t have a reason to see each other. But he never mentioned the money. I was cool with it, even if it took a year or two to pay back. It was just $500, I could be fine without it if needed.

Our lives changed and we both went different directions, again, totally normal and not because of the money. I sent him a random text or two after a long period just to say hi and kind of poke him and see if he’d say anything.

2 years go by and I don’t hear a word. Then I bump into him in public. We talked like buddy buddies and I was very eager to see if he would mention it. He did not. I do know his life changed a lot, his parents passed and I think he moved into their house, was never sure if he was getting divorced or not.

This is why I wouldn’t do $1000. Just didn’t feel comfortable not knowing what was up. Still don’t know. If he ever reaches out and pays me back, I’ll have my faith restored. If not, it’s the risk I knew I was taking. No hard feelings.