re: Are your parents pushovers for the grandkids?

My mom is sometimes a pushover - she lives with us so she tries to ‘help’ with the discipline

Which means giving everyone ice cream an hour before dinner because the kids are hungry

My husband’s parents don’t talk to us they haven’t seen the youngest since she was 7 months old

I am from an extremely strict household but I was a problem child.

Thankfully, the value of education was pushed on us so hard and forcefully that we have made it, my brother and me.

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And hell yeah we all spoil the newborns in this here Family. I spoil 'em the most with Tiffany gifts and all kinds of gifts.

We all take pleasure in spending money on the youngsters.

We grew up poor as hell. Lucky to have a square meal and clean clothes. No luxuries and one “nice “ gift for Christmas with necessities such as socks and underwear. A new pair of shoes when school started. Honestly I was in junior high when I got my first pair of new tennis shoes.

Fast forward to when I had kids. My mother spent wildly on my kids. She’d take them to any store and buy whatever they wanted. I’d raise hell and her motto was “I’d rather see them enjoy it than have y’all fight over it when I’m dead”.

And yes, I’m a pushover to the point my wife even questions my “wasteful “ spending on my grands. I figure I’m on borrowed time so screw it. I know what it was like to do without and want them to enjoy life.

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My husband’s parents don’t talk to us

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They never liked the woman who married their baby?
Or
That boy was always a POS, time to cut the cord?

When it comes to just buying them stuff they were pretty bad about it with my oldest (their very first grandkid) but have kind of evened out with my youngest seeing as they have a total of 5 now between my brother and me. As far as spoiling them with time an attention, absolutely. They will drop whatever they are doing to spend time with those kids. I love to see it.

The only thing that pisses me off is that damn pantry and fridge are packed full of crap that we never, ever got growing up.

With my granddaughters yes, anything their little hearts desire and it's done. They have me firmly wrapped around their tiny little fingers.

With my grandsons, same within reason until they reached their early teen years. When the backtalk and insolence kicks in, my Marine Corps mind set activates so they understand it's not tolerated, and that life ahead isn't the smooth glide playing video games all day like they think it will be.

Academics and respect for others are instilled in both, and I try to teach by example. My wife handles the girls discipline. They are all good kids with good parents. I'm proud of them all beyond measure.

Whatever I can do to support them emotionally or financially as they transition into college and become adults is my goal, and as I get near the end of my time on God's good earth, my most cherished achievement.

I'm a Proud Grandparent and I'm not a pushover for my GKs.

I helped each get an automobile for College.
G K 1, is a Senior in college, made honor roll every semester, is on track to get his Masters degree. Computer Science
G K 2, in 2nd Semester Freshman, honor roll in Architecture.
G K3 in 2nd Semester Freshman, Honor Roll, and in addition she works 30 hrs a week.
IMO they deserve help as long as they do their part. No Student Loans, Just Scholarships.

Congrats on being married to him, I guess. Who pays the light bill for you now?

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We grew up poor as hell. Lucky to have a square meal and clean clothes. No luxuries and one “nice “ gift for Christmas with necessities such as socks and underwear. A new pair of shoes when school started. Honestly I was in junior high when I got my first pair of new tennis shoes.

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That is a description of most of the Farm kids who grew up in the 50's, in Franklin Parish/North Louisiana. We raised what we ate, and Good Parents tried to give their kids something for Christmas.
I'm fortunate to be able to help my Grand Kids, but they have to show there is a need and they are responsible.
I'm not stingy but I am Thrifty.

Grandparents, pay attention:

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iPad kids are more anxious, less resilient, and slower decision makers

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According to the paper, infants in the cohort were averaging "more than one to two hours of daily screen time." The World Health Organization, the researchers point out, says sedentary screen time is not recommended for 1-year-olds and should be limited to no more than one hour per day for 2-year-olds, with “less is better” still the advice.

"The levels of infant screen use observed in our study cohort are concerning, both in their magnitude and in their clear divergence from WHO recommendations," the team noted in their paper.

To make matters worse, they estimate that their screen time data, collected between 2010 and 2014, is probably lower than today's average.

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Children whose parents frequently read to them at age three showed a weakened link between screen time and altered brain development, meaning active engagement and enrichment brought by reading to children and asking them questions about the books shared with them helps foster better emotional management, language skills, and, in the case of the latest study, is likely to help their brains develop at a consistent, healthy rate across various cognitive areas.

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In other words, if you want a healthy child, turn off the screens and pull out the books. Tech is not a helpful babysitter.

Oh, and it's probably a good idea to keep them away from AI, too.

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The Register