re: Are kids harder to deal with from ages 2-4 or 12-14?

I'm terrified of 12-14.

Especially governing their use of social media.

Tweens easily. Just larval teenagers


TEENS
Well kids are born as babes to start,
they swiftly softly steal your heart,
You'll learn a love like none that's ever been,

That's good. Don't blink. For in a wink,
They'll grow (and know, this part will stink)
that darling tot 't'will turn into a TEEN!

I do believe they're born so sweet, with tiny hands and precious feet, so when they muss and fuss, we aren't much miffed

Because, if they were born as Teens,
Who scowl and smirk and snark and scream,
Tempted we'd be to throw them off of CLIFFS!

When grasped by tiny baby hand,
We acquiesce to their demands,
"I love you's", that is all that we require,

But then, they grow, to gangly beasts,
Insuff'rable, to say the least,
It seems our very presence draws their ire,

They need us still, of course, OF COURSE,
To pay their bills, and do the chores,
They've left undone, too busy, so it seems,

Is any creature quite as rank?
And to whom might we give the thanks,
For such a curse, what's worse than loathesome TEENS?

How can a thing so sweet when small,
Become the bane of parents all,
What cruel deity causes this, you ask.

Just think back, 'fore you were grown,
Before your seeds were spread and sown,
(Grandparents, it is /this/ part where /you/ laugh)

So take your high horse off that shelf,
Yes you were once a teen yourself,
For some it wasn't all that long ago,

It's no grand secret I'll reveal,
But truth is raw and truth is real,
And Teens and Tots are closer than you know,

Yes both demand their every whim,
Is catered to, the endless hymn,
Of "Dad!" Or "Mom!", "I want...", "where is...", "I need..."

What's in their heads? What guides their hands?
Well parents just don't understand,
Perplexed we are, by their confusing screeds,

The clothes they pick, their silly names,
Their hair, their fare, their reindeer games,
Well Tots or Teens don't always make good sense,

They're moody things, now high, now low,
Like tempests, and their tantrums OH!,
Persnickety and plagued by impatience,

But...when time has come for sleep,
And they rest without a peep,
You can see your resting babe behind those eyes,

And it still will make you pine,
For those days sweeter than wine,
When they'd hold you tight and ask for lullabies,

Yes though trials, there are many,
I'd rather them than not have any,
Tot or Teen, they both will need your love a LOT,

Savor all the moments though,
Because before long they will go,
and to get it back, you'd give all that you've got.

Has to be 12-14. My oldest daughter is 10 and it's already a drama whirlwind of mean little shits at school.

I can say unequivocally, a child needs a mother and a father during this time. The dad answer of "screw them kids" or "don't let it bother you they are just mean kids" does not always work on a 10 year old girl they need mom to listen and talk about emotions too.

The older they are the risks with their bad behavior goes up so the older ones. Young kids can get in serious trouble but usually because someone is not paying attention. At 12 it is far easier for them to get into real trouble because they are not being watched in the same way a 4 year old should be.


Ours were pretty good at all ages but they were far harder to deal with the older they got simply because that's the way humans are...the closer one gets to adulthood the more like an adult one acts.

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Wondering how many of the people saying the older time range have recency bias and are blacking out how chaotic, brutal and constraining the early childhood phase is.

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I have both right now under one roof. I’m giving you updates in real time.

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5-11

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I’d say 5-9 is the sweet spot

My nearly 11 daughter is testing me. I think it’s normal preteen stuff.

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That's easy. You don't let them have access to it.

Our kid has a cell phone. But it has no internet access and you can only download preapproved apps to it (no socials). He RARELY uses it except to call and say he's coming home from MTB practice.

Worth every penny of the $40 a month we pay for it.

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What’s the brand on that?

It’s not the terrible twos, it’s the fricking fours

Do a good job at 2-4 and they’ll be easier at 12-14

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That's easy. You don't let them have access to it. Our kid has a cell phone. But it has no internet access and you can only download preapproved apps to it (no socials). He RARELY uses it except to call and say he's coming home from MTB practice.

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sounds like this works which is all that matters, but I’d be worried about creating a rebellious child who feels over controlled and one who hides things from you. And he’s going to get access to social media eventually anyway, better to ease him into it than turn him loose and let him go crazy. Think about those kids who NEVER drank or saw anyone drinking in their house when they get to college. Lots of them go crazy partying. Also, and this may not matter to you, but your child not having an iPhone at a certain point will make others make of them and possibly look down on them. I know it’s stupid and shitty but that’s just how it is. So you are personally having a negative impact on your teenage child’s social life. Which in the grand scheme of things means Jack shite but it’s very difficult to get that point across to teenagers