re: Anyone have a kid that just doesn’t care about school?

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Curious what happened to this kid?

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Working in a menial construction job, no trade or learning, rarely getting 40 hours/week.

He's recently gotten a highly driven gf (his first) that has no idea he dropped out of HS. She's in college. He's now talking about getting into a trade school like ITI.

His mother thinks he's on the verge of "getting it together". I hope he is, he's a good kid. Just lazy really. Not his fault, though, nothing was ever expected of him. Nothing.

High school was absolute fricking arse. Keep in mind this was 20 years ago and a catholic school at that, but I had absolutely no urge to do anything with my grades or my life. Gifted kid, 4.0, didn't really have to try. But generalist courses and no real prep work for the real world made it an absolute chore. Only really gave enough of a shite for tops to help my parents out.

College? Completely different story. Being able to focus on my actual skillset and remove myself from a generalist role made it worthwhile to go to classes and commit.

It's not that school isn't for him, it's that high school isn't for him. Or really worth it for anyone. He'd probably be better off getting a GED, Associate, and then going get his bachelors. HS is a gigantic waste of time.

I see people saying to keep punishing him but do it harder. Not everyone responds favorably to increasingly severe punishment. More force may just result in him hating his parents and being more defiant.

I was the same way as the OP's son in HS. I honestly don't think there's anything my parents could have done differently, or that more punishment would've turned me around. Punishment just made me shut down.

Parents did their job, set a good example. I just had to mature on my own timeline after I moved out on my own. I do not think I could possibly excel in a comfortable situation. I had to actually be out there and earn for myself to finally get it.

OP it might help to actually talk to your son and get to the root of what he wants to do in life, and chart a path towards that. He may not even know what he wants to do yet, and there's a lot of ways to be successful that don't involve going to college. Stop telling him to do things like you did if that's what you're telling him right now.

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frick I love this board

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This board is full of shitty parents lol

And with the school he is in…it’s pretty much all gifted, so it’s not a thing of not being challenged. He will be able to do telc at fk white and I can promise he will be pushed there. He will fail or be kicked out quick if he doesn’t work. Problem is many of those kids are weird as hell

Prom….gonna have to get stricter period. frick what others are saying about let him be a boy, grades don’t matter etc….that’s a dumbass take

1) take all YouTube etc away, all game systems. Do this for 1 week, he has to do absolutely all work and study for 30-45 min every night if he wants back next week, verify it

2) starting next week, he gets 20min and 20min only. Set a time, I suggest 1 hour before bed. 20 min and then has to bring it to you. No tv after that time. But here is the kicker, he doesn’t get the 20 min until he is done with all homework and has studied with you or his mom

3) he doesn’t get to go outside until homework is complete and studying done, he doesn’t leave until it’s done and checked by y’all

4) with baseball, ask the coach to get on his arse. Having another adult figure get on his arse will help

This isn’t gonna be a quick fix though. You are going to have to sit him down and make him understand B’s are not acceptable

Now with all that being said….I have seen kids at your sons school struggle and then kick arse at other schools. Not because of the work being easier, but more because of the environment.

But honestly prolly not gonna find that out to middle school. What’s the plan there? If it’s SJ, gonna be major culture shock. If it’s telc at fk he is gonna get eaten alive unless he starts learning to work.

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Academically? Maybe, but I'd still argue against you.

Socially, absolutely not. Clown take

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I didn't think about the social aspects of HS in my initial post. Good point. But, even then, I know a bunch of home schooled kids who were socialized even more than some of the kids I went to k-12 with. Some of the most anti-social fricks graduated high school with me.

I was never a "bad" student, but after I brought home a couple of Cs in the 7th grade my parents had an extremely sobering conversation with me about what they were and were not willing to sacrifice in the name of my education.

Got my arse into gear. National Honor Society, academic awards, Honors College, law school, etc. It didn't matter that I wasn't thrilled with the material. It was made clear that it was my job to achieve or they would stop throwing good money after bad and I could just grow up to be poor, like they had been earlier in life.

I am extremely grateful that they intervened on me at that age because my life has basically been awesome since then.

Never did any electronics the first 8-10 years and not they have very limited access and it’s never a problem - the electronics is crack cocaine for the brain

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I just had to mature on my own timeline after I moved out on my own.

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Goldrush, when did you do this, what age? And why? Did you choose to move out, or forced?

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He doesn’t have to drive to be gifted. He won’t do the work. That’s the issue at this point.

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Sounds like my 11 yr old. 3rd grade went into gifted and hated it. Totally checked out. By the end of 4th grade we had pulled him from gifted and things sort of stabilized. This year (5th grade) he bombed at the start and has been clawing his way back up ever since.

School was easy, he wanted to coast and just hang with his buddies instead of paying attention in class. We removed xbox, ipad, youtube and he didn't give a shite. Once we cut off any friends coming over/sleeping over it finally changed. Told him if he was so worried about his friends he sure would miss them when they go to middle school next year without him if he failed.

He's mature outside of school. Can talk with our adult friends and they all comment how smart he is.

Good luck. It's infuriating knowing how smart he is, just doesn't care.