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re: Anyone have a kid that just doesn’t care about school?
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:11 pm to Prominentwon
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:11 pm to Prominentwon
My son does not give a shite about school and he’s in 10th grade. Hopefully he’s picking up enough to pass some college curriculum.
0
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:15 pm to Prominentwon
SlowFlo asked the right questions in the first response to your OP. It's very possible that he is TOO talented in too many areas and it's screwing with his focus.
School at his age is broad in it's coverage of topics and doesn't get into the real meat and potatoes of any subject to any degree. It sounds like he just bored to death with it and hasn't been introduced to anything that really grabs his attention and makes him curious to know everything there is to know about that one subject.
It's hard for some kids to nail that "something" down. It's especially hard for those who perform well across the board and have been told that they "can do anything they want to do." There's no focus when you have EVERYTHING available as an option.
Keep an eye on what he enjoys doing or where he turns his attention when he's doing the things HE likes to do. Try to help him get rid of the distraction of having every door open. And definitely turn him toward mathematics as he continues his schooling through elementary school, middle school, and high school. Mathematics provides an ability to understand everything from physics and engineering to music and art.
The bottom line, though, is to help him find what it is that appeals to his curiosity the most. Don't just ask him. Observe, direct, and guide. He just sounds like he needs a compass to direct his way. Be that compass.
School at his age is broad in it's coverage of topics and doesn't get into the real meat and potatoes of any subject to any degree. It sounds like he just bored to death with it and hasn't been introduced to anything that really grabs his attention and makes him curious to know everything there is to know about that one subject.
It's hard for some kids to nail that "something" down. It's especially hard for those who perform well across the board and have been told that they "can do anything they want to do." There's no focus when you have EVERYTHING available as an option.
Keep an eye on what he enjoys doing or where he turns his attention when he's doing the things HE likes to do. Try to help him get rid of the distraction of having every door open. And definitely turn him toward mathematics as he continues his schooling through elementary school, middle school, and high school. Mathematics provides an ability to understand everything from physics and engineering to music and art.
The bottom line, though, is to help him find what it is that appeals to his curiosity the most. Don't just ask him. Observe, direct, and guide. He just sounds like he needs a compass to direct his way. Be that compass.
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:16 pm to Lokistale
quote:
Thus, if he is hanging around a bunch of slackers that do not care about school, but all into sports, he will adopt that attitude also. He may need to change his peer group to kids that want to achieve academically and athletically.
How to ruin a childhood 101.
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:17 pm to Prominentwon
quote:
He’s got a 3.0 by doing the bare minimum
Don't base on GPA anymore. Schools aren't allowed to really hold kids to a standard anymore. Entire schools will make the honor roll.
Does he have a phone or a video game system?
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:22 pm to Prominentwon
quote:Pretty damn early to give up on a kid.
He’s 10 in the 4th grade.
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:25 pm to ShoeBang
quote:
Turn up the heat.
You'll get through to him eventually. You might have to endure some sacrifices for yourself and your family if the punishments get severe enough. An example was when my parents cancelled a family trip because I had screwed up at school so much. They kept us all home and worked my arse to death in the yard for the whole weekend instead.
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:26 pm to Prominentwon
quote:
He doesn’t have to drive to be gifted.
You should look into what gifted model your school system uses. Either way, gifted kids don’t earn their way into the program. It’s a sub-branch of special Ed for a reason. Gifted kids literally think differently than regular kids. They struggle with social skills and can lack motivation except for very specific interests. Further, you might want to read up on Dabrowski’s excitabilities and see if any of them pertain to your kid.
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:32 pm to SlowFlowPro
quote:
It's primarily an IQ test and it's important b/c you need to teach high IQ kids differently or else you get what OP describes.
Ehhh...
Cream rises to the top and in middle school, the PSAT helps identify smart kids. Schools will use that and plan accordingly.
High IQ kids are sprinkled throughout High schools. That's your Valedictorians, Salutatorians, National Merit finalists/semi-finalists, ACT SAT high scorers, National honor society members. they may take AP and Honors courses if available, They are not taught differently, just probably teach at a faster rate.
Reality is some smart kids do well and some don't. Some not so smart kids try hard and succeed, others don't try and don't do well.
Majority of kids are average. Parents don't like hearing that and look to blame something or someone, but they are just average. Good news is many find something they like and end up doing well.
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:33 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
I was the same way. Put almost zero effort into school when I was in middle school and got Cs and Bs. My parents moved me to a much more challenging and competitive school. I was a little freaked out and everyone around me was motivated, so it created some peer pressure to perform well.
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:33 pm to Prominentwon
I was like that. Parents put me on ADD medicine. Did better for a few years but when I stopped taking it in HS I stopped doing anything, including going to school. Unfortunately, I don't have a good solution for you.
I had the same problem, I was tested, borderline genius, still failed in gifted. I was great at learning on my own, it was the homework that was my problem. Never saw a point in it if I already learned the material.
quote:
He doesn’t have to drive to be gifted.
I had the same problem, I was tested, borderline genius, still failed in gifted. I was great at learning on my own, it was the homework that was my problem. Never saw a point in it if I already learned the material.
This post was edited on 1/30/23 at 2:38 pm
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:33 pm to Prominentwon
quote:Find one productive extracurricular activity that you kid is willing devote a lot of time an energy to.
Thoughts? Experiences? Just looking for angles.
The activity can be a sport, musical instrument, artwork, building robots or go-carts, whatever.
Encourage the hell out of that activity and be willing to give it some of your time and money. And if he changes to something else support that too, as long as it's a productive learning activity.
There have always been traps at school that could wreck your kids. For me it was 12-year-olds getting drunk because you could legally buy booze at 18. For my kids it was rich classmates driving BMWs and snorting coke. Today it's social media. Nothing really changes.
This post was edited on 1/30/23 at 2:55 pm
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:36 pm to Festus
quote:
Festus
Curious what happened to this kid?
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:37 pm to rltiger
quote:
High IQ kids are sprinkled throughout High schools. That's your Valedictorians, Salutatorians, National Merit finalists/semi-finalists, ACT SAT high scorers, National honor society members. they may take AP and Honors courses if available, They are not taught differently, just probably teach at a faster rate.
Some high IQ kids fall through the cracks, yes, but GPA winners are hard workers, not necessarily high-IQ people.
Gifted kids know the difference, even if their GPA is lower. Even in things like Honors College and Law School, the population could identify each other after having known each other for little time.
And yes, you have to teach them differently. It's not just an issue for the student. Gifted kids when bored can cause all sorts of trouble. Remember, they're much more intelligent than the teachers or administrators trying to contain them. That's one of the first things they beat into your head when you train to be a teacher of gifted kids: they are smarter than you and you can never forget it.
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:39 pm to VABuckeye
Just went through it with my youngest son. He just graduated high school early in December with a 3.9 GPA but gave absolutely zero effort to achieve it and is convinced college is a waste of time. Drove me and my wife nuts with the DGAF attitude and was late 27 times to school from August - December (we were always at work by 6:30 am but he would just go back to bed after we left in the morning). We just moved him out into a condo with a couple of kids going to AU and are forcing him to pay for food, gas, clothes, vehicle insurance, etc. We are hoping he runs out of money and comes to the realization that being a real estate mogul at 18 is damn near impossible. He's convinced that he will be a millionaire by 24 and that we are idiots for working 30 years. We're trying to be as supportive as possible and if reality slaps him in the face hard enough to change course within 6 months he won't be any further behind than had he stayed in high school and graduated at the same time as most of his class. It's tough watching someone with so much ability piss away opportunities and feeling like a failure for not being able to figure out a way to motivate him to apply himself academically.
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:40 pm to auie93
quote:
We are hoping he runs out of money and comes to the realization that being a real estate mogul at 18 is damn near impossible.
frick I love this board
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:42 pm to Prominentwon
quote:
Thoughts? Experiences? Just looking for angles.
I was this kid until I got to be about 21 years old, got my shite together, and realized how important my education was to my future.
quote:
He’s 10 in the 4th grade.
10 years old is waaaayyy too early to develop any conclusion as to whether school isn't for him.
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:45 pm to auie93
quote:what is he doing for money now?
auie93
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:49 pm to auie93
quote:
Just went through it with my youngest son. He just graduated high school early in December with a 3.9 GPA but gave absolutely zero effort to achieve it and is convinced college is a waste of time. Drove me and my wife nuts with the DGAF attitude and was late 27 times to school from August - December (we were always at work by 6:30 am but he would just go back to bed after we left in the morning). We just moved him out into a condo with a couple of kids going to AU and are forcing him to pay for food, gas, clothes, vehicle insurance, etc. We are hoping he runs out of money and comes to the realization that being a real estate mogul at 18 is damn near impossible. He's convinced that he will be a millionaire by 24 and that we are idiots for working 30 years. We're trying to be as supportive as possible and if reality slaps him in the face hard enough to change course within 6 months he won't be any further behind than had he stayed in high school and graduated at the same time as most of his class. It's tough watching someone with so much ability piss away opportunities and feeling like a failure for not being able to figure out a way to motivate him to apply himself academically.
Just be keen to what he is doing. A lot of kids that think like that end up on American Greed.
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:51 pm to auie93
quote:
We are hoping he runs out of money and comes to the realization that being a real estate mogul at 18 is damn near impossible. He's convinced that he will be a millionaire by 24 and that we are idiots for working 30 years.
I hope he becomes a millionaire just to spite you and then your estranged son and his future wife spend all their holidays with her in-laws instead of you.
This post was edited on 1/30/23 at 2:57 pm
Posted on 1/30/23 at 2:53 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
quote:
what is he doing for money now?
Probably selling pictures of his feet to lonely men because his Parents wouldn’t help support his dream.
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