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Started By
Message
AITA—Long distance family
Posted on 2/28/24 at 11:58 am
Posted on 2/28/24 at 11:58 am
Brother in law and his family moved across the country, and my brother in law (and thus my wife) wants us to constantly travel out there to see them for holidays etc. I tell my wife I don’t want to travel that long of a distance when I’m not the one who moved away. The travel back home should have been part of their decision when they decided to move 2,500 miles away.
20
Posted on 2/28/24 at 11:59 am to tigahfan747
You don’t appear to be the a-hole but they will make it out as if you are
Posted on 2/28/24 at 11:59 am to tigahfan747
definitely NTA
every four or five years MAYBE, but certainly not yearly or whatever "constantly" means in the context of your story.
every four or five years MAYBE, but certainly not yearly or whatever "constantly" means in the context of your story.
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:00 pm to tigahfan747
Traveling out there every now and then seems reasonable. Doing it constantly (not sure how you're defining that though) seems like a bit much.
It's not like you can hop in the car and drive a couple hours there.
It's not like you can hop in the car and drive a couple hours there.
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:01 pm to tigahfan747
Tell him to email you the plane tickets.
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:01 pm to tigahfan747
TLDR YES YYATA
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:02 pm to tigahfan747
quote:
Brother in law and his family moved across the country
Congrats!!
quote:
my brother in law (and thus my wife) wants us to constantly travel out there to see them for holidays etc.
Lol, miss me with that
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:02 pm to tigahfan747
It's a blessing in disguise, IYAM. You should be taking every opportunity to get outside of Louisiana that you can.
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:04 pm to tigahfan747
That’s the rule: you move away; you travel home.
My parents moved us to Georgia from New Orleans. Then to Alabama a few years later.
Most of my extended family have never once visited us in Georgia or Alabama. It’s just the way it is.
My parents moved us to Georgia from New Orleans. Then to Alabama a few years later.
Most of my extended family have never once visited us in Georgia or Alabama. It’s just the way it is.
This post was edited on 2/28/24 at 12:05 pm
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:07 pm to tigahfan747
Put your wife and mother inlaw on a plane.. Tell them to stay for the holidays.. It's a win-win for you..
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:08 pm to tigahfan747
I moved away from most of my fam and we tend to take turns going to each others states.
I don’t think you’re the a-hole for not wanting to be the one traveling all the time.
I don’t think you’re the a-hole for not wanting to be the one traveling all the time.
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:12 pm to tigahfan747
Agree with you.
Maybe there’s a compromise there?
Maybe there’s a compromise there?
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:13 pm to tigahfan747
The solution is to have a badass piece of land and some cool toys. Then everyone always wants to come to your house. I've still never been to DC area to my brother's house and he's been there for years. Same as my wife's family in California and Colorado.
They'd rather come here and fish, hunt and hang out, so I don't ever have to travel to family they all travel to me.
They'd rather come here and fish, hunt and hang out, so I don't ever have to travel to family they all travel to me.
Posted on 2/28/24 at 3:03 pm to tigahfan747
I wouldn’t sweat it, 2,500 miles is far. In reality you’re not going to see them often and grow somewhat apart.
Talk is cheap, it sounds all nice and fuzzy talking about traveling there a lot, but when it comes down to actually doing it, you might go once every two years. They’re going to come home, especially to see their parents (your in-laws).
Talk is cheap, it sounds all nice and fuzzy talking about traveling there a lot, but when it comes down to actually doing it, you might go once every two years. They’re going to come home, especially to see their parents (your in-laws).
Posted on 2/28/24 at 3:11 pm to Tifway419
Yeah, if they moved to Vegas or Telluride then go visit then constantly is fine. If they moved to Paducah, KY - not so much.
My Uncle lives in a houseboat / marina on Whidbey Island, WA and fishes salmon & halibut, catches Dungeness crabs, and the mountains are only an hour away. Love to go there and visit as often as I can.
My Uncle lives in a houseboat / marina on Whidbey Island, WA and fishes salmon & halibut, catches Dungeness crabs, and the mountains are only an hour away. Love to go there and visit as often as I can.
Posted on 2/28/24 at 3:14 pm to tigahfan747
Far as I'm concerned, that's on them. They moved away so don't expect me to spend my vacation time and money traveling cross country to see your arse every year in lieu of other vacation opportunities.
Posted on 2/28/24 at 4:44 pm to tigahfan747
Do they offer to visit you? Meet in a neutral territory at least? DFW?
NTA. But it is worth noting that you mentioned the BIL, but not your sister.
NTA. But it is worth noting that you mentioned the BIL, but not your sister.
Posted on 2/28/24 at 4:51 pm to tigahfan747
We moved cross country but we make the drive back for Summer and Xmas but we keep hinting for them to come visit for spring. Does that make me an a-hole?
Posted on 2/28/24 at 5:00 pm to LemmyLives
quote:
NTA. But it is worth noting that you mentioned the BIL, but not your sister.
I'm assuming that is the wife's brother.
Posted on 2/28/24 at 5:03 pm to bad93ex
You're seeking reciprocation of effort, and not asking to be unreasonable. YNTA.
The easiest solution is that "hey, there is a festival here in the spring, y'all should come up." How is that kind of commo received? I'm going to blow out women here, but, if you want to have them Thanksgiving 2024, it will invariably be the women that wait until the first week of November to give you an answer.
*kicks women in the ovaries*
You're there twice a year, and when have they offered?
The easiest solution is that "hey, there is a festival here in the spring, y'all should come up." How is that kind of commo received? I'm going to blow out women here, but, if you want to have them Thanksgiving 2024, it will invariably be the women that wait until the first week of November to give you an answer.
*kicks women in the ovaries*
You're there twice a year, and when have they offered?
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