Started By
Message

AITA—Long distance family

Posted on 2/28/24 at 11:58 am
Posted by tigahfan747
New Orleans
Member since Oct 2017
1593 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 11:58 am
Brother in law and his family moved across the country, and my brother in law (and thus my wife) wants us to constantly travel out there to see them for holidays etc. I tell my wife I don’t want to travel that long of a distance when I’m not the one who moved away. The travel back home should have been part of their decision when they decided to move 2,500 miles away.
Posted by papasmurf1269
Hells Pass
Member since Apr 2005
20893 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 11:59 am to
You don’t appear to be the a-hole but they will make it out as if you are
Posted by Northshore Aggie
Mandeville, LA
Member since Sep 2022
4652 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 11:59 am to
definitely NTA

every four or five years MAYBE, but certainly not yearly or whatever "constantly" means in the context of your story.
Posted by CocomoLSU
Inside your dome.
Member since Feb 2004
150671 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:00 pm to
Traveling out there every now and then seems reasonable. Doing it constantly (not sure how you're defining that though) seems like a bit much.

It's not like you can hop in the car and drive a couple hours there.
Posted by Boudreaux35
BR
Member since Sep 2007
21449 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:01 pm to
Tell him to email you the plane tickets.
Posted by sidewalkside
rent free in yo head
Member since Sep 2021
1638 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:01 pm to
TLDR YES YYATA
Posted by tylerlsu2008
Zurich
Member since Jul 2015
1091 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:02 pm to
quote:

Brother in law and his family moved across the country


Congrats!!

quote:

my brother in law (and thus my wife) wants us to constantly travel out there to see them for holidays etc.


Lol, miss me with that
Posted by saint tiger225
San Diego
Member since Jan 2011
35371 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:02 pm to
It's a blessing in disguise, IYAM. You should be taking every opportunity to get outside of Louisiana that you can.
Posted by StringedInstruments
Member since Oct 2013
18375 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:04 pm to
That’s the rule: you move away; you travel home.

My parents moved us to Georgia from New Orleans. Then to Alabama a few years later.

Most of my extended family have never once visited us in Georgia or Alabama. It’s just the way it is.
This post was edited on 2/28/24 at 12:05 pm
Posted by JDPndahizzy
JDP
Member since Nov 2013
6437 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:07 pm to
Put your wife and mother inlaw on a plane.. Tell them to stay for the holidays.. It's a win-win for you..
Posted by tigernurse
Member since Dec 2005
29999 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:08 pm to
I moved away from most of my fam and we tend to take turns going to each others states.

I don’t think you’re the a-hole for not wanting to be the one traveling all the time.
Posted by Havoc
Member since Nov 2015
28301 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:12 pm to
Agree with you.
Maybe there’s a compromise there?
Posted by El Segundo Guy
SE OK
Member since Aug 2014
9578 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 12:13 pm to
The solution is to have a badass piece of land and some cool toys. Then everyone always wants to come to your house. I've still never been to DC area to my brother's house and he's been there for years. Same as my wife's family in California and Colorado.

They'd rather come here and fish, hunt and hang out, so I don't ever have to travel to family they all travel to me.
Posted by Tifway419
Member since Sep 2022
822 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 3:03 pm to
I wouldn’t sweat it, 2,500 miles is far. In reality you’re not going to see them often and grow somewhat apart.

Talk is cheap, it sounds all nice and fuzzy talking about traveling there a lot, but when it comes down to actually doing it, you might go once every two years. They’re going to come home, especially to see their parents (your in-laws).
Posted by Kjnstkmn
Vermilion Parish
Member since Aug 2020
10650 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 3:11 pm to
Yeah, if they moved to Vegas or Telluride then go visit then constantly is fine. If they moved to Paducah, KY - not so much.

My Uncle lives in a houseboat / marina on Whidbey Island, WA and fishes salmon & halibut, catches Dungeness crabs, and the mountains are only an hour away. Love to go there and visit as often as I can.
Posted by gumbo2176
Member since May 2018
15086 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 3:14 pm to
Far as I'm concerned, that's on them. They moved away so don't expect me to spend my vacation time and money traveling cross country to see your arse every year in lieu of other vacation opportunities.

Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
6410 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 4:44 pm to
Do they offer to visit you? Meet in a neutral territory at least? DFW?

NTA. But it is worth noting that you mentioned the BIL, but not your sister.
Posted by bad93ex
Member since Sep 2018
27138 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 4:51 pm to
We moved cross country but we make the drive back for Summer and Xmas but we keep hinting for them to come visit for spring. Does that make me an a-hole?
Posted by SoFla Tideroller
South Florida
Member since Apr 2010
30085 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 5:00 pm to
quote:

NTA. But it is worth noting that you mentioned the BIL, but not your sister.


I'm assuming that is the wife's brother.
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
6410 posts
Posted on 2/28/24 at 5:03 pm to
You're seeking reciprocation of effort, and not asking to be unreasonable. YNTA.

The easiest solution is that "hey, there is a festival here in the spring, y'all should come up." How is that kind of commo received? I'm going to blow out women here, but, if you want to have them Thanksgiving 2024, it will invariably be the women that wait until the first week of November to give you an answer.

*kicks women in the ovaries*

You're there twice a year, and when have they offered?
first pageprev pagePage 1 of 2Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookTwitterInstagram