re: Aging OT: how to identify and manage the mid life crisis

Don’t have much to offer you but just wanted to say thanks for posting this. I’m at a very similar phase in life with lots of the same questions - am I doing what I was really “meant” to do career-wise, should I be looking more aggressively for higher paying positions that would undoubtedly set my kids up better, but would require more time away from them.

I’ll be following this thread. Some good responses in here.

High School was fun. Trying to relive high school in your forty’s is sad. The cheap convertible Sports car is a dead giveaway. It’s cliche for a reason. Be secure in where you are and who you are. You aren’t going to fool the people that know you anyway.

Buy a social media site.

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Aging OT: how to identify and manage the mid life crisis

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Take up a hobby. Like edibles, which have recently become legal in Illinois.

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I have been doing keto and lost about 35lbs. I feel better and not so sluggish.

My marriage is mostly good. I don’t feel like anyone is always happy and marriages have their ups and downs, the grass is rarely greener., work it out.

I am not financially where I want to be for retirement, but I have time and am working on that.

I have 2 kids that are out of the house and on their way to success and two more to go. I feel that I can accomplish that.

I own a small business and own a boat. I am comfortable with what I make and what I own. I don’t make OT baller money and probably not as much as most would claim, but that’s ok.

I love where I live and have lots of friends within walking distance that we interact with on a regular basis. I feel lucky to have the friends and family close as none of us grew up in the area.

I look and feel younger than I am. A lot of my friends are going gray and while I welcome it, I am not.

I have learned not to worry about things that are not of my control. While this is a hard one, stress is a lot harder. Everything will be alright. Let it go.

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Some good advice here. Only thing I would add is as I've grown older, the less I care about what people think of me. I do whatever is I enjoy and what's in the best interest of my family. I've recently left a job because the stress level was too much. The company's philosophy was to run a lean environment. I was performing the role of three different job functions and not even being compensated appropriately. I don't allow any job to interfere with my spiritual and family wellbeing. I'm currently 44 years old and I've learned throughout the years those two things are what keeps me grounded and happy above everything else. If anyone of those things are impacted, I become imbalanced and stress starts creeping in and causing problems. I have almost 22 years experience and for years I would place my job above everything else. It's just within the 5-6 years that I've learned what made me the happiest and relieved stress in my life the most. I try my best to maintain that balance and I'm a much better husband, father, man, friend, colleague, etc. for it.

Going through it right now. I am going on 50 years old and I am seeing my moods change and reflecting a lot more on life. My struggles include trying to make sure that my older children finish college and make a good start in adult life. I still pay for two of my kids car insurance and medical insurance and this sets me back about $500 a month. Sure would like to use that money for something else like my 401 k or saving for trips but I do it because I am their father and they are trying to do the right thing. Also my wife has finally found a steady good paying job she has been in and out of jobs for the last 3 years so I have been covering everything financially during these years. I think my dilemma at this age is I am ready to enjoy life but I still feel obligated to help everyone else out in life when I should be surfing in Coasta Rica Hopefully real soon I can quit worrying about everyone else and focus on enjoying life more. My .02

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I'm 32...I was already hitting burnout before have child 2, and having minor depressive episodes. Not sustainable. Am I going to have to, at least temporarily, give up my career ambitions? Family is priority #1...

Sales engineering is what I do too, but I support 10 sales people so I'm swamped 100% of the time

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Well done. Your priorities are what they should be; But yes, tap the brakes ASAP before escalating your routine any further.

Downshift the pressure before it blows and prioritize a decent plan that allows you to delegate responsibility so you can...BREATHE.

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I'm not assuming you're saying this, but for the sake of discussion I'll ask, is the key to contentment not striving for too much outside of home? Work almost has the domino effect. You want to do good, and when you achieve that, the next one falls and you strive to do good again and so on. I find it hard to stop and say "don't expect anymore from me. I'm at my limit of improvement." the concept is much easier than the reality in that regard.

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For me it’s been like choosing a path. One path is working late and weekends, missing priceless moments with your family, but getting in that work time, in whatever fashion, that elevates you. The other path is working hard but drawing a line, putting in extra time when needed but not working just to work, and in turn spending more time with family, I guess the old work-life balance. I’ve always chosen the second and while I am comfortable with the financial situation and stress level, will likely not be at a high level in the food chain. I think about things like owning my own business and such, but also try to keep in mind the risk and demands that entails.

The main thing is to just be at peace with your decisions. Regret is a bad thing and a key component of a mid life crisis or whatever.

On one hand that’s a lot of good stuff.

On the other:

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Now looks like she’s pregnant and talking about marriage. (Was talking marriage before pregnancy)

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How’s that going to work out?