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re: About to turn 40. Haven't had sex in 10 years. AMA.
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:02 pm to RazorBroncs
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:02 pm to RazorBroncs
quote:
Well then this question is for you and OP
When you DID have sex at 30, was it just mild and disappointing or anything? Did you feel like it wasn't anything special?
I know when me and the wife have a particularly good round, it leaves me and her both wanting more within the next day or two. I can't imagine fighting that feeling for a decade unless maybe the sex you did have sucked and wasn't special enough to ignite that feeling
Honestly, I was terrible at all. I've only had sex a couple of times in my life. The last time I had sex, it was a mediocre overweight woman. But it was easy, she basically threw herself at me.
Ironically we were watching a movie. She laid on me and started touching me. The funniest part was after a few seconds when she said "you know, this will be a lot easier without the jeans". Of course you can imagine what was next.
It wasn't her. I just don't get it up very well and so sex for me the few times I've done it was mediocre. I didn't leave that night and say I didn't want to have sex again. It just didn't happen and after a few years I honestly just stopped caring. That's probably the worst part, that mentally I just don't care enough to try at this point.
I'll admit, I'm probably kind of a prude about it. I feel like at this point all I could attract would be desperate overweight or obese women. And while many men would go for a well below average woman to break a long streak, I don't do it. I've genuinely started to wonder if I've just become asexual over time.
This post was edited on 9/23/25 at 9:04 pm
3
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:10 pm to boomjosh
This is how chapter 4 of OWL Bio starts out.
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:16 pm to boomjosh
quote:
About to turn 40. Haven't had sex in 10 years. AMA.
Are you ugly or just put out very little effort?
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:20 pm to boomjosh
Happens dude. Banged left n right in my early teens and early 20s. Then didnt bang for about as long. Flipped a switch and got in shape and made an effort and got married at 33. Imo addiction is what keeps you from a sex and love life. Find out what youre valuing over the effort it takes to have the latter. Youre 40, not 60, it is NOT too late. Get back on the horse.
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:22 pm to PensaTigers
quote:
Happens dude. Banged left n right in my early teens and early 20s. Then didnt bang for about as long. Flipped a switch and got in shape and made an effort and got married at 33. Imo addiction is what keeps you from a sex and love life. Find out what youre valuing over the effort it takes to have the latter. Youre 40, not 60, it is NOT too late. Get back on the horse.
The problem is I don't even know what I value over sex. Maybe just being lazy? I know I have a fear of rejection and commitment. But I really don't even know what I'm valuing currently over sex.
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:25 pm to TigerSharkMan
Online forum posting > Sex
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:30 pm to TigerSharkMan
Then focus on yourself first. Diet to a good weight, focus on your career and work and how to do well enough to feel great about yourself. You need fulfilllment in your life from your work, and to feel good about how you look, and that will boost your personality through confidence.
To answer a question about above, youre hard to please like many are, and also demotivating yourself under the assumption you cant have what you really desire. You need to understand were at the age that a total babe isnt realistic. You just need to find a woman whos decent looking and a good person and friend. It isnt exciting to you rn, especially if youre watching porn (not saying you do), but what your dopamine fixed brain that works in short sighted ways doesnt understand the end result is love and partnership, and how wonderful that feels.
You gotta make yourself into the most reasonably best version of yourself, and then get the hell out there.
To answer a question about above, youre hard to please like many are, and also demotivating yourself under the assumption you cant have what you really desire. You need to understand were at the age that a total babe isnt realistic. You just need to find a woman whos decent looking and a good person and friend. It isnt exciting to you rn, especially if youre watching porn (not saying you do), but what your dopamine fixed brain that works in short sighted ways doesnt understand the end result is love and partnership, and how wonderful that feels.
You gotta make yourself into the most reasonably best version of yourself, and then get the hell out there.
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:34 pm to TigerSharkMan
quote:
"you know, this will be a lot easier without the jeans". Of course you can imagine what was next.
Well.... We're waiting
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:37 pm to boomjosh
Even the fattest, ugliest of dudes can find a fat, ugly skank. Why aren’t you fricking?
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:42 pm to UncleRuckus
Ugly people bang all the time. Thats no excuse. But if you aren’t physically in good shape, then either lower your standards or get your lazy arse in the gym.
The gym will get your energy & confidence back. You don’t need TRT, you just need to start moving & lifting.
The gym will get your energy & confidence back. You don’t need TRT, you just need to start moving & lifting.
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:45 pm to boomjosh
quote:
Being almost 40 my testosterone will start dropping.
Jesus dude. You need TRT pronto. Then you need to hit the gym, if only for confidence even. It’s not that hard to get laid.
Unless you’re married
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:47 pm to boomjosh
You must have low testosterone or you would have found pussy way before 10yrs. Wtf?
Posted on 9/23/25 at 9:49 pm to PensaTigers
quote:
Then focus on yourself first
frick, dont do that. Ask what you can do for others!
All this inward shite isn't getting him anywhere.
There are a lot of.people these days they look inward way to much to try to figure something out or are so hyper focused on themselves and what could be wrong 10 years go by and nothing happens. OP likely doom scrolls or thinks about his position in life a lot already. Evident by his reach out on a social media post again asking people to ask him about himself.
People fall into what I call depression narcissism. Not intentionally but it is a form of narcissism.
Start looking at what you can do for other people.
You have free time on your hands.
Volunteer at church.
Coach rec sports... lord im always looking for help.
Volunteer at a food pantry.
Volunteer to bring old people to doc appts.
Drive around with a mower and mow old people's grass for free.
Volunteer with Big Brothers / Big sisters. There are so many kids that just want to throw a fricking baseball with a male figure. I've coached rec for years with my kids both baseball and basketball. I have a kid I've coached who said before he knows he's terrible at baseball but he's says he looks forward to it the whole year just to see us and playoutside. His mom is single and he's dying for male interaction.
Its a lot of work especially after a full day but its so much fun. Joyful.
You'll meet people and change lives including your own.
Life is precious. I've spent so much time on the wrong side of hospital windows you have to live it. Even on the days where you hurt, feel like shite, and tired.
Pray.
Look up.
Ask for forgiveness.
Then look out.
You're worth it.
Posted on 9/23/25 at 10:17 pm to thejudge
Great post!
All of that but also, find some skanks somehow someway.
All of that but also, find some skanks somehow someway.
Posted on 9/23/25 at 10:24 pm to Havoc
1. TRT
2. Hair transplant
3. Buy a new car
4. Get a gym membership
5. Get a new hobby
6. Go to a bar regularly at around dinner hours, preferably a nice restaurant bar or something, maybe a nice hotel bar
You will get laid in no time
2. Hair transplant
3. Buy a new car
4. Get a gym membership
5. Get a new hobby
6. Go to a bar regularly at around dinner hours, preferably a nice restaurant bar or something, maybe a nice hotel bar
You will get laid in no time
Posted on 9/23/25 at 10:27 pm to TigerSharkMan
As I said for OP, go to a clinic to get your Testosterone checked and get put on TRT.
Posted on 9/23/25 at 10:29 pm to thejudge
quote:
Coach rec sports..
That’s called a pedophile
Posted on 9/23/25 at 10:41 pm to Robin Masters
quote:
Hit the gym and pay attention to ladies with visible camel toe. Thats a not so subtle cue they are looking for dick.
Posted on 9/23/25 at 10:42 pm to boomjosh
quote:
Thought about it. But spending 300 bucks and possible disease ain't worth it.
That’s why nobody will ever remember your name
Posted on 9/23/25 at 10:43 pm to jcaz
quote:
It’s not that hard to get laid.
Unless you’re married
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