re: A good buddy called me asking for money yesterday. Update 6/12

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My youngest daughter is doing dual enrollment in HS where she also completes an associates degree. She really doesn't have time to work during the school year. I'm fine with that. That'll save me a hell of a lot more than paying for her insurance.

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Yea, that makes sense.

I've thought about college as well, obviously a long arse ways away and who knows what could happen. I have a lot of buddies who were active in groups in college, student government president, etc. THat shite looks amazing on a resume and every last one of those buddies got really great jobs immediately out of college.

To your point, I've thought about that. If/when my kids go to college, if they just want to be students and nothing else, that is no problem at all. I imagine i'll help them out here and there but they'll need a job to pay for the bulk of their shite. But if I can talk them into being as active as they possibly can with those groups and shite that I never did, I know it'll help them in the long run and not that they can't work at all and be active, but if they work less, I'll gladly help them out financially to cover whatever they need.

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Sounds like a good hardass way of doing it. But by the time they're 15, I guarantee you that you'll end up buying them a car and insurance and probably having to force them to get their license. Toting teenage kids around gets old quick.

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By no means are we rich, very firmly in that middle class. I could easily afford to pay for their insurance and a starter car, but they can also easily get a job and learn responsibility and pay for it themselves.

Agree with you on the part where I'll want them to have a car so I don't have to lug them around. And who knows what happens at that point you may be correct, but I'm pretty confident I'd like them to work a little and gain some of that responsibility before heading off to either college or whatever they do once they leave the house after high school.

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Your loan or give isn't going to magically solve his money problems.

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Yea, given those exact issues, they shouldn't be unexpected. But more importantly, they're not a one-off issue. That is a continuing issue, and without supplemental salary, this is just a temporary fix, so the OP was more than fair to question how the friend was going to fix this going forward. The friend getting angry was proof that he had no plan and certainly was NOT going to start cutting back, this was just kicking the can down the road.

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I have no idea how he has done all of this

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96 month low interest financing during Covid

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Agree with you on the part where I'll want them to have a car so I don't have to lug them around.

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Yeah, when i was having to drive my son to work and pick him up every day at 15, i went ahead and got him a car when he was 16. I don’t think it’s possible for a student to work enough to pay for a car, insurance, and college. Have you seen the costs of those things lately? I consider the help through college as an investment. If they are progressing as they should, i will help till done with undergrad.

My parents bought me a CPO 4Runner my senior year of HS and that thing got me through college, grad school and my first 3 years of work. Helped set me up a lot better than if I was worried about paying a car note.

Never loan money to family or friends. Feel free to GIVE them money, but never loan.

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You should have lent him the cash if you trust and love him and believe he will pay you back. No to any of those and it’s a hard no.

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man this is terrible advice

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This idea that a friend can hold your friendship hostage over money and you have to pay a ransom to keep being friends and if you don't it's your fault you lose a "friendship" is wild.

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Well said.