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Started By
Message
re: 12 Steps vs other methods in recovery
Posted on 3/7/24 at 6:26 am to TN Tygah
Posted on 3/7/24 at 6:26 am to TN Tygah
First and foremost congratulations that’s awesome. It’s one of the hardest things you can do and there’s a reason a lot never do it and relapse rate is so heavy no matter your poison.
The program and steps are good bc the steps give you something to focus on and sets at (attempting) to remove some of the guilt you have after however many years of ripping and running. As well as beginning to set your moral compass.
Church is good, not just for the religious aspect but just for an hour to clear my head, mediate, think. Sometimes I’d hit daily mass if I had a rough day. If nothing else to just say I’m doing this, for an hour I’ll be here.
Find a hobby or multiple hobby’s, (or anything to keep you busy) you don’t realize just how much time you put into whatever habit you’re trying to kick until you kick it and you’ve got all that time on your hands.
Finally a sponsor, in my opinion is a big big help. Someone to hold you accountable, to be there to call 7 days a week when you need to talk to someone.
I think the 12 steps and whole program work, but it’s all about making it your own. However I had someone tell me that if you’ve failed 2-3 times trying to make your own amendments to it, try it the right way.
The program and steps are good bc the steps give you something to focus on and sets at (attempting) to remove some of the guilt you have after however many years of ripping and running. As well as beginning to set your moral compass.
Church is good, not just for the religious aspect but just for an hour to clear my head, mediate, think. Sometimes I’d hit daily mass if I had a rough day. If nothing else to just say I’m doing this, for an hour I’ll be here.
Find a hobby or multiple hobby’s, (or anything to keep you busy) you don’t realize just how much time you put into whatever habit you’re trying to kick until you kick it and you’ve got all that time on your hands.
Finally a sponsor, in my opinion is a big big help. Someone to hold you accountable, to be there to call 7 days a week when you need to talk to someone.
I think the 12 steps and whole program work, but it’s all about making it your own. However I had someone tell me that if you’ve failed 2-3 times trying to make your own amendments to it, try it the right way.
Posted on 3/7/24 at 6:42 am to TN Tygah
12 steps for almost 12 years here.
“Once you begin to know that you don’t know, that’s when you begin to know.”
Let go. Let go of wanting answers and do what’s in your face today. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing and get you high or drunk. Be at peace with not knowing.. about anything. The answers will come. Leave tomorrow alone. Get a sponsor you talk to every day that takes you through the steps.
Trust the steps. They have worked for millions of people to stay sober for many years, they will work for you too.
“Once you begin to know that you don’t know, that’s when you begin to know.”
Let go. Let go of wanting answers and do what’s in your face today. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing and get you high or drunk. Be at peace with not knowing.. about anything. The answers will come. Leave tomorrow alone. Get a sponsor you talk to every day that takes you through the steps.
Trust the steps. They have worked for millions of people to stay sober for many years, they will work for you too.
Posted on 3/7/24 at 6:43 am to TN Tygah
The real satisfying work comes from helping other alcoholics. Just give it time and work the process.
I spent years trying to sort through the higher power stuff and still don’t really have that portion figured out
I spent years trying to sort through the higher power stuff and still don’t really have that portion figured out
Posted on 3/7/24 at 6:46 am to Ed Osteen
quote:
still don’t really have that portion figured out
None of us do. God knows that.
That’s what faith is by definition: I know in my heart God is real, but I can’t see Him and I’m having trouble with it.”
Talk to Him. Honestly talk to Him. He already knows.
Posted on 3/7/24 at 7:02 am to TN Tygah
I suggest you power through and at least finish the steps and give it some time. If you still don’t like the steps and meetings after, then try to find other ways you think will help you.
Posted on 3/7/24 at 7:25 am to TN Tygah
You just always have to have in the back of your head.. if you have one tiny drop of alcohol.. you’re done
Posted on 3/7/24 at 8:47 am to TN Tygah
Going into my fourth year of sobriety, actually had 1 day of drinking in the last 6 years. This is a tough question, I can tell you that living in a rural area like I do the meetings were hard to sit through. 75% of the people in there were court mandates and they weren't serious about their recovery and the guy "in charge" was just a miserable old bastard who actually made me want to drink so I could tolerate his arse. The 12 steps have worked for a lot of people, so you can't discount it completely. This is what I suggest, but only as I experienced it. Get a good physical exam and have everything checked out as much as you can. Good baseline in case there is something going on medically. Stay away from obvious triggers for a while like parties, casinos, whatever. Don't be scared to let your buds know that you are trying to go sober. They don't have to babysit you but most good friends will help hold you accountable without judgement. Keep a journal and write down what you are feeling as precisely as possible when the urge to drink hits you. I know a lot of people talk about filling your time with things like exercise and volunteering, etc. While that is all good, you gotta get to the point where you are strong enough to not take a drink without trying to distract yourself. Also, stay away from NA beer or anything like that. It's a good way to fall off the wagon. Good luck. If I can do it anyone can.
Posted on 3/7/24 at 8:50 am to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
It’s the Steps. I spent over 20 years just going to meetings off and on. I finally was broken and worked the Steps. Saved me. 2.26.17
Posted on 3/7/24 at 8:52 am to DeltaTiger14
Good advice here from y’all. AA has no monopoly on recovery. That said it works and we know it does. It’s the steps though for me. There is celebrate recovery which is Christian based I think There are many. Also AA online meetings 24 7 is a useful tool
Posted on 3/7/24 at 8:54 am to TN Tygah
quote:
Rehab twice, and am hoping that is my last time. Something clicked the second time that didn't the first time, as this is the longest I've gone.
Congrats on going this long. Imagine in the depth of your addiction and using, that one day you’d be 9 months clean.
That’s something to be proud of at your own growth amidst everything.
Posted on 3/7/24 at 8:55 am to TN Tygah
Posted on 3/7/24 at 8:58 am to TN Tygah
It works if you work it.
5/12/2016
5/12/2016
Posted on 3/7/24 at 9:09 am to TN Tygah
At the end of the day don't use, that's what keeps you sober. I don't care for the steps but I do like the meetings. Currently living in a sober facility now.
Posted on 3/7/24 at 9:12 am to TN Tygah
You have to want to change. Sounds like you have want. Just stick with it.
Posted on 3/7/24 at 9:56 am to Bugsy Siegel
quote:
Go to Church !
If you are a church go'er, many protestant churches today use a program called "Celebrate Recovery". There are several in the BR metro that utilize this program so check their websites or call them. I've seen many people utilize them from outside and inside the church and find success. You don't have to be a member of the church to attend the group. There are people leading the groups that have been through the same thing as you. As several have said, you gotta want to do this and you seem like you want to break free.
Posted on 3/7/24 at 9:57 am to TN Tygah
Different things work for different folks. I didnt succeed at 12 step, but learned a lot doing it.
You'll find good in all approaches, just use what you can, discard what you cant.
You'll find good in all approaches, just use what you can, discard what you cant.
Posted on 3/7/24 at 10:04 am to TN Tygah
quote:
I'm sober 9 months. Rehab twice, and am hoping that is my last time. Something clicked the second time that didn't the first time, as this is the longest I've gone. But I learned the hard way after one relapse that I'm not getting rid of this thing and it isn't a set and forget type thing. So I'm self-aware.
Congrats on the 9 months brother.
Finding a hobby, no matter what it is as long as it is not self-destructive, is the best way I've found.
Posted on 3/7/24 at 10:10 am to TomballTiger
quote:
Here’s a Buddhist based program
Buddhist recovery
That was my preferred program. 20 minutes of meditation, readings, and then group stuff.
Meditation helped me more than anything. Being able to sit with your thoughts and emotions in silence is a powerful tool.
Posted on 3/7/24 at 10:12 am to Privateer 2007
Stumbling is NOT ok. That kind of attitude gets you to relapse. Put your head done and get it done
“One day at a time”
“One day at a time”
Posted on 3/7/24 at 10:16 am to Lake08
quote:
Stumbling is NOT ok. That kind of attitude gets you to relapse. Put your head done and get it done
This is not said enough.
Progress not perfection is complete and utter bullshite.
Perfection is what you aspire to achieve.
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