NEW ORLEANS PELICANS 100 VS MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES 107: PLEASE BE OK NIKO

SONS,

AS I SIT HERE AND ENVISION THE arse KICKING THE PELS ARE GOING TO GIVE TONIGHT, I WANT TO GIVE A SPECIAL frickING SHOUT OUT TO TWO PLAYERS: JRUE YOURBESTPERIMETERGUYISGOINGON HOLIDAY AND 3TWAUN MOOREOFTHATGOODSHIT.

JRUE-WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT THE frick NOW ON THE DEFENSIVE LEVEL HAS BEEN WRITTEN ABOUT, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE frickING SEEN TO BE BELIEVED. JRUE PUTS THE GUY HE GUARDS IN frickING JAIL BETTER THAN ANYONE IN LOUISIANA, AND THAT SAYS A LOT. ESPN IS MAKING A NEW frickING STAT LINE FOR YOU:

DERRICK ROSE-DNP WELL (JRUE HOLIDAY)

MOORE- I frickING LOVE PLAYING BASKETBALL, AND YOUR GAME IS THE NBA VERSION OF HOW I WANTED TO PLAY, EXCEPT I DIDN'T HAVE HEIGHT, OR TALENT. YOU'RE ONE OF THE MOST ELITE SHOOTERS IN THE RESTRICTED AREA IN THE ENTIRE frickING LEAGUE, YOU GUARD GUYS BIGGER THAN YOU, AND YOU shite DOWN THEIR THROATS WITH 3 AFTER 3. I HOPE TO GOD YOU'RE HERE FOR YEARS TO COME.

WITH ALL OF THAT frickING shite SAID, WE GOTTA PLAY MINNESOTA TONIGHT. THIBS LOOKS LIKE A GRUMPY ELF. DROSE'S FIRST ACL TEAR WAS HIS OWN DAMN FAULT FOR TRAVELLING BY DOING THE SAME shite THAT JACKASSES DO IN PICKUP GAMES. I HAVE NO SYMPATHY.

PELS W
WOLVES L