Captain America Like another poster recently said, the trope of Nazis as the embodiment of all evil is growing old. Half the arguments on the internet end up at Nazism. A quarter of the blockbusters today use Nazism as the antagonist or symbol of evil. It on affirms what religion has always known: when telling a story for the masses, you need to have a bad guy and a form of evil, thus Satan. But surely Hollywood can find a new, more relevant villain.

The actor who plays Captain America is terrible. The woman he loves is beautiful and probably the most compelling of the characters. The dialogue certainly is telling of the movie's comic book origin. I groaned several times at Tommy Jones' script. The story is absurd. Either make the movie sci-fi or make it historical. Don't mix the two, at least not like C.A. does. As a summer popcorn flick, it still fails. There's no drama. We know, because of the opening scene, that the bombs headed to America fail. At least give us some tension. Trying to shift the time frames in this movie was a terrible fail. Despite a couple of quotes that are pro-justice instead of pro-war, this movie is very pro-war, and as a result, I would highly recommend you don't see it.2/10

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Posted by TulaneLSU

Member since Aug 2003

Member since Dec 2007

13638 posts

Posted on 7/29/11 at 1:36 pm to TulaneLSU

Cowboys and Aliens: The first time I saw the trailer for this movie, it now seems like a year ago, I was almost sure this would be a comedy. A cowboy movie...about aliens? That's funny. A little dry humor from Harrison Ford, Wilde and Bond's blue eyes to appease the aesthetes, and some CGI for the kids. The trailer gave promise to an action-cowboy-comedy. But much to my surprise, and chagrin, this movie really is a cowboy movie about aliens.

It seems a recent trend to incorporate elements from two apparently disparate movie genres, what with Super 8 bringing together the 80's genre with sci-fi and all the comic book stories that weave histo-drama with sci-fi. It's anything but seamless. Sci-fi needs to remain in the realm of the nerds. Stop mixing sci-fi with bona fide movie genres. It's hurting my soul.

I discussed this movie with Ms. Wilde on Twitter for the past months. She assured me it would be good, but even with her reassurance, I remained skeptical. She promised me a refund if I didn't like it. Well, needless to say, I shall be contacting her for my $5 back. But I really won't, because I don't want to hurt her feelings. For her sake, please do not tell her what I'm about to tell you.

This movie fails on multiple levels. But the biggest and most irritating is ruining what would have been a good Western if they would have focused on a realistic, non-alien antagonist. Seeing cheaply made aliens running about in a landscape comparable to the heights of cinematography established in Open Range was nothing short of absurd. On the positive side, the movie was perfectly cast, even if Harrison Ford's recent grumpy old man routine is growing old. Olivia Wilde and Amy Adams are two of the finest actresses of this generation.

The introduction of Indians into the movie was a time filler and none of the Indians had a character that could make an audience care. The only relationship that has any transcendence is that between Ford and his Indian servant. Even Wilde and James Bond, despite their beautiful blue eyes, do not have much chemistry. I don't even know if I can say this was a good popcorn flick. Would I watch it again? Absolutely. Watching Olivie Wilde on the big screen is worth it and her beauty alone boosts this movie's score by two points, but the movie is still not very good. 4/10

Winnie the Pooh Should I preface this by saying spoilers? Is it possible to spoil what is already spoiled? Let's start from the end and work forward. The credits said...."There were no stuffed animals harmed in the making of this movie".....O Bother. If only the movie had been about Winnie getting terminal cancer. Then I might have felt some emotion.

Instead, it was a stupid adventure story about misinterpretation. But Hermes' ruh-tarded dog could have given a better illustration of hermeneutics. A simple problem. A complex, at least for a five year old, adventure. A quick and clean solution. It's the stuff of twenty minute cartoons you see on the Disney channel. There was no business making this into a 60 minute film. Thank God it was only 60 minutes. I fell asleep in the theater for the first time in my life today. Right about the part where Winnie (who names their male bear Winnie? Isn't Winnie the girl in Wonder Years?) is swimming in the honey. STFU ABOUT HONEY, POOH! I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FRICK. I wanted to burn some Pooh stuffed animals after seeing this maudlin malady. Even the kids in the relatively full theater were whining and crying throughout. They could stand it as much as I could.

It was a cheap and poor product Disney threw at his fans, and I don't think such an abomination of film has been put out by Disney since The Hunchback of Notre Dame. No talent was needed or used in this film, and I would recommend Disney bury the WTP franchise forever or at least keep it confined to 20 minute shorts.

The best part of the experience was the trailer for Lion King, which by the way, will be re-released in 3D. On franchises, EVERY single one of the five movies advertised in the previews is a franchise. Why is the public putting up with Hollywood's insulting unoriginality? Recycling our garbage STOP! This is the worst movie I have ever seen. Ever. Do not see it. Your kids will forever hate you if you do. 0/10

This post was edited on 7/29/11 at 1:43 pm

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Posted by BrockLanders

By Appointment Only

Member since Sep 2008

6517 posts

Posted on 7/29/11 at 3:16 pm to TulaneLSU

You must have lost your todger in a terrible accident.

This post was edited on 7/29/11 at 3:20 pm

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