re: Jurassic World: Dominion Sitting At 39% On RT

We saw it last night and the wife and I both thought it was pretty bad. She hated all and I hated the first part but thought it got a little better eventually.

But there were just so much stupid shite throughout the movie. Not just the tiny woman pulling the man out the lake, but many more examples like that. For example, when they were being attacked at the outpost by the Alisaur, a woman and the frail teen girl crowbarred the door open. Like why in the frick would the men not do that? I won’t go as far as calling it “woke,” but every scene felt like the women were doing shite and making the decisions and the men were just sort of there and in the way.

The plane crash scene was awful. fricking awful. Those two survived a fricking PLANE CRASH without so much as a fricking scratch on them. Hell, Owen didn’t even have a goddamn seatbelt on, and he waltzed right out of the wreckage like no big deal. And why the plane wouldn’t go straight through the frozen water is beyond me. Especially when it’s frail enough for them to fall through and a Dino to jump out of.

The CGI was fricking terrible at times. Like bad bad. Half the time it looked like some cheap stop-motion SFX. Some of it looked good I guess, but mostly it was just bad. And it was very noticeably CGI. And I realize that sounds ridiculous in a dinosaur movie, but still.

Waaaay too many “perfect timing”/deux ex machina moments. Damn near the whole movie was like that.

The first half of the movie was dumb. It was basically a spy movie with some random dinosaurs sprinkled around. And not even a good spy movie. It got a little better once they got to the reserve, but still it wasn’t captivating or particularly interesting. In fact, we were fairly bored for most of the movie. And even in the second half, the dinosaurs didn’t even matter that much. For a movie about dinosaurs they sure as hell weren’t given the spotlight at all, and were just kinda in the way. They were like the zombies in TWD, just sort of there to interfere with the plot whenever it was convenient.

The locust thing was completely overboard. The Asian scientist was talking about how he could fix it “within a generation,” but by the time he does, the locusts has already JUMPED CONTINENTS. I’m no farmer or scientist, but that would mean they’ve basically destroyed all/most non-Biosyn farmlands between the Midwest and the coast (in whatever direction they went). That would absolutely cripple the US, so reversing the locust growth is damn near moot by then (in terms of trying to save the food industry), which has to be a LOT. It just felt way overblown in what they were going for. Just make them a threat and then deal with the threat before it goes off the rails. Having them jump continents means they’ve destroyed way too much to “save the day.”

I liked the old cast participating a good bit. That was cool. But man, Malcolm felt really out of place, and makes you wonder how or why he was involved with that company in the first place. And it seemed like Goldblum sure as hell mailed it in.

The main bad guy/head of Biosyn was weird as frick. Like they could’ve said he was a legit robot or clone and I would’ve believed it. Either the actor sucked or the character was completely wooden. Or both.

I won’t even get into how stupid it is that people are just going about their normal lives/day with literal carnivore dinosaurs roaming around in the free world. That was so mindnumbingly stupid it’s almost not even worth talking about. But like the guy riding his scooter as T-Rex-size dinosaurs are stomping around wreaking havoc on society. What the frick was he thinking? He deserves to get eaten. At one point my wife said to me “it wouldn’t ever be safe enough to even go outside most of the time.” And she’s right. shite, even in the city you have Pteradons nesting on top of buildings.

I really hate Owen’s whole “let me put my hand up and mind control this dinosaur” thing. Okay, so maybe it sort of works with Blue. That at least makes sense obviously. But he did it two or three other times in the movie. And it basically worked. He’s not the fricking Beastmaster for crying out loud. It was just stupid how often then went to that well.

I’m sure there’s a ton more that I can’t think of for now, but I found very few things redeeming about it. And I fricking love the JP franchise. But if this is the best they can do, it’s time to hang it up. The last two have been pretty bad.

The first half of Fallen Kingdom was solid, and the second half sucked. The first half of this one sucked and the second half was okay. If they could splice the two better halves of the last two movies together, I feel like I’d have enjoyed that pretty well. But instead we get two mediocre/bad movies in a franchise that should be easy to please given the subject matter.