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Started By
Message
1
Posted on 12/27/09 at 1:34 pm to Michael J Cocks
Auctioner- And now we have panties from a prostitute.
Quagmire-50 bucks
Auctioner- she had 9 STD's
Quagmire-40 bucks
Auctioner- and when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire-50 bucks
Quagmire-50 bucks
Auctioner- she had 9 STD's
Quagmire-40 bucks
Auctioner- and when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire-50 bucks
Posted on 12/27/09 at 1:48 pm to Ibleedblackandgold
Peter- Hey Mort do these suppositories come in any other flavores?
Mort- Peter you haven't been eating them have you?
Peter- NO I been shoving them up my arse
Mort- Peter you haven't been eating them have you?
Peter- NO I been shoving them up my arse
Posted on 12/27/09 at 2:07 pm to rolltide09
Interviewer: Peter Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Peter: (Looking at a picture with the interviewers hot wife and his son thinking "Don't say doing your wife, don't say doing your wife.") Doing your.....son.
LINK
Peter: (Looking at a picture with the interviewers hot wife and his son thinking "Don't say doing your wife, don't say doing your wife.") Doing your.....son.
LINK
This post was edited on 12/27/09 at 2:10 pm
Posted on 12/27/09 at 2:19 pm to OMLandshark
Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
Posted on 12/27/09 at 5:50 pm to MiledV-TEC
(this thread has me cracking up 
)
Meg: You guys didn't even remember my birthday?! *Runs upstairs*
Peter: Who was that guy?
Chris: I'm so hungry.. I could ride horse!
) Meg: You guys didn't even remember my birthday?! *Runs upstairs*
Peter: Who was that guy?
Chris: I'm so hungry.. I could ride horse!
Posted on 12/27/09 at 9:38 pm to rpg37
"pleasuring a man with a socked foot one time does not make a person gay"
Posted on 12/27/09 at 9:51 pm to geauxlsu07
quote:
Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.
This one is definitely my favorite ever. 2nd is the mom, mom, mom, mother, mom, mom, etc.
Posted on 12/27/09 at 10:12 pm to Methuselah
Posted on 12/27/09 at 10:26 pm to Acreboy
Posted on 12/27/09 at 11:09 pm to rpg37
Lois: I'm not saying abortion...maybe you just smoke a lot of cigarettes, drink a lot of alcohol. Just don't chicken out half way through, otherwise you end up with Chris.
Peter:Now Lois, we discussed this: if we had to leave one child behind, it was Meg.
Lois: But Peter!
Peter: No buts!
(Meg bursts in)
Meg:You baqstards! You left me!
Peter: Oh, see Lois, the issue has resolved itself.
Peter:Now Lois, we discussed this: if we had to leave one child behind, it was Meg.
Lois: But Peter!
Peter: No buts!
(Meg bursts in)
Meg:You baqstards! You left me!
Peter: Oh, see Lois, the issue has resolved itself.
Posted on 12/27/09 at 11:15 pm to CornDogCologne
Posted on 12/27/09 at 11:32 pm to CornDogCologne
Posted on 12/28/09 at 8:24 am to rpg37
Posted on 12/28/09 at 8:57 am to GeauxTigahs1
For some reason I have always loved the No Meal on Wheels episode. Some great lines in that one.
Stewie: Oh look, an On-The-Raggedy Ann Doll.
(pulls the string)
Doll: It’s water weight you bastard!
(pulls the string again)
Doll: Get off me, I’m not your whore!
(pulls the string again)
Doll: (crying) I’m sorry, I’m just so sad.
Stewie: Well, I guess I can still play with it three weeks out of the month.
Peter: Oh my God, Lois, don’t get alarmed, but, I think I might be Jesus. I’m Jesus
Lois: Peter? I know you’re in here.
Peter: Yes I am Lois… But where?
Lois: Peter, if you shock me, I swear to God I’m leaving you.
Peter: You have to find me first Lois. Where could I be?
Lois: Well there’s a Quonset hut that I’ve never seen in this room before. I gotta figure you’re in there.
Peter: How do you know, Lois? I could be in that New York Style magazine kiosk.
Lois: Peter, this all looks very expensive.
Peter: Yes, you might say it was… shockingly expensive.
Lois: I’m going to try the Quonset hut.
Peter: I was in the bathroom. The hut and the kiosk? Decoys, Lois, decoys!
Lois: Glenn, thank you so much for helping me tear up my carpet.
Quagmire: Well you know, Lois, I... I gotta confess, uh, when you called me, I sort of misunderstood what you were asking for. That's why I rushed over, but uh... it's fine, it's fine, whatever. I'm happy to help.
Quagmire: (Pointing to strip of carpet.) Hey, uh, Lois, do you want me to leave a little strip in this thing? Maybe a lightning bolt, a unicorn, or something like that?
Lois: No, I want it all gone Glenn.
Quagmire: All right, we’re going Brazilian!
Stewie: Oh look, an On-The-Raggedy Ann Doll.
(pulls the string)
Doll: It’s water weight you bastard!
(pulls the string again)
Doll: Get off me, I’m not your whore!
(pulls the string again)
Doll: (crying) I’m sorry, I’m just so sad.
Stewie: Well, I guess I can still play with it three weeks out of the month.
Peter: Oh my God, Lois, don’t get alarmed, but, I think I might be Jesus. I’m Jesus
Lois: Peter? I know you’re in here.
Peter: Yes I am Lois… But where?
Lois: Peter, if you shock me, I swear to God I’m leaving you.
Peter: You have to find me first Lois. Where could I be?
Lois: Well there’s a Quonset hut that I’ve never seen in this room before. I gotta figure you’re in there.
Peter: How do you know, Lois? I could be in that New York Style magazine kiosk.
Lois: Peter, this all looks very expensive.
Peter: Yes, you might say it was… shockingly expensive.
Lois: I’m going to try the Quonset hut.
Peter: I was in the bathroom. The hut and the kiosk? Decoys, Lois, decoys!
Lois: Glenn, thank you so much for helping me tear up my carpet.
Quagmire: Well you know, Lois, I... I gotta confess, uh, when you called me, I sort of misunderstood what you were asking for. That's why I rushed over, but uh... it's fine, it's fine, whatever. I'm happy to help.
Quagmire: (Pointing to strip of carpet.) Hey, uh, Lois, do you want me to leave a little strip in this thing? Maybe a lightning bolt, a unicorn, or something like that?
Lois: No, I want it all gone Glenn.
Quagmire: All right, we’re going Brazilian!
Posted on 12/28/09 at 9:44 am to PJinAtl
Stewie: (Breaks glass with gun) Get out of the car!!! Get out of the fricking car man!!! Get out of the car!!!
Brian: Did we just car jack that guy?
Stewie: We sure did Brian, we sure did...
Brian: Did we just car jack that guy?
Stewie: We sure did Brian, we sure did...
Posted on 12/28/09 at 12:18 pm to Mr. Wayne
peter: hehehehehehe
Lois: peter i know your in here
Peter: I am lois but where
Lois: peter if you shock me i swear to god im leaving you
Peter: you'll have to find me first lois, where could i be
Lois: well theres a quanza hut ive never seen before in here i gotta figure your in there
Peter: How do you know lois i could be in that new york syle magizine kiosk
Lois Peter this all looks very exspensive
Peter: you could say it was shockingly exspensive
lois im going to try the quanza hut
Peter comes from behind and shocks her
Peter: Hehehehe I was in the bathroom lois the Hut and the kiosk decoys decoys lois decoys
Lois: peter i know your in here
Peter: I am lois but where
Lois: peter if you shock me i swear to god im leaving you
Peter: you'll have to find me first lois, where could i be
Lois: well theres a quanza hut ive never seen before in here i gotta figure your in there
Peter: How do you know lois i could be in that new york syle magizine kiosk
Lois Peter this all looks very exspensive
Peter: you could say it was shockingly exspensive
lois im going to try the quanza hut
Peter comes from behind and shocks her
Peter: Hehehehe I was in the bathroom lois the Hut and the kiosk decoys decoys lois decoys
This post was edited on 12/28/09 at 12:24 pm
Posted on 12/28/09 at 12:32 pm to catholictigerfan
they even have that high class british porn
almost almost almost there we are,
well done
almost almost almost there we are,
well done
Posted on 12/28/09 at 12:34 pm to catholictigerfan
Tom Tucker: Coming up . . . Diane's weight
Gay Guy: We just have to be patient . . . like waiting on the results of a blood test . . . a real important blood test.
Stewie: Knock, knock
Brian: Who's there?
Stewie: Your best friend, Stewie, and I'll always be there.
Gay Guy: We just have to be patient . . . like waiting on the results of a blood test . . . a real important blood test.
Stewie: Knock, knock
Brian: Who's there?
Stewie: Your best friend, Stewie, and I'll always be there.
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