Best Ted Lasso Quotes

“The idea behind every trick play is to have chaos rain down upon your opponents and stun them. Much like the lava did to those poor folks in Pompeii.” -Ted Lasso

“I’ve never met someone who doesn’t eat sugar. Only heard about ’em, and they all live in this godless place called Santa Monica.” -Ted Lasso

“Hey, you two are like Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner, you know? Or, uh, Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow. Or Frank and… Actually, you know what? I’m starting to realize that Ol’ Blue Eyes might’ve skewed mercurial.”

“You two knuckleheads have split our locker room in half. And when it comes to locker rooms, I like ’em just like my mother’s bathing suits. I only wanna see ’em in one piece, you hear?” -Ted Lasso

“If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, can’t wait to unpack that with you later.” -Ted Lasso

“It’s kinda like all the nipples in that movie Showgirls. Halfway through, you don’t even notice. You just kinda get sucked into the narrative.”