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re: Money, kids and ethics question...
Posted on 3/26/09 at 10:35 pm to Zach
Posted on 3/26/09 at 10:35 pm to Zach
quote:
Fast forward about 25 years. I was sitting on the front porch with my dad as he was one year away from his death. He said, "Zach, remember that money I lent you and your brother when you were first getting started? You paid me back. Your brother didn't. I always knew that you would make out all right, son."
A man should settle his debts.
0
Posted on 3/26/09 at 10:39 pm to Zach
Sorry, but it sounds like your daughter is a selfish bitch. Do as you see fit with your money. I wouldn't worry about any "give equal to all" nonsense. Will it burn her arse if she doesn't get any? Sure, but she'd find a reason to be pissed about something even if you didn't help your son, I'm sure.
I'd do this. I'd help my son, and then when my daughter got mad, I'd ask her why she hates her brother.
I'd do this. I'd help my son, and then when my daughter got mad, I'd ask her why she hates her brother.
Posted on 3/26/09 at 10:44 pm to coloradoBengal
quote:
Sorry, but it sounds like your daughter is a selfish bitch.
would you expect different from a devotee of ayn rand?
This post was edited on 3/26/09 at 10:53 pm
Posted on 3/26/09 at 10:50 pm to MileHigh
quote:
would you expect different from a devotee on ayn rand?
Posted on 3/26/09 at 10:54 pm to coloradoBengal
well I had a typo, but a few bong hits too. Ayn rand championed the cause of selfishness.
Posted on 3/26/09 at 11:13 pm to Zach
Zach, follow your heart, lend or give to your son, deal with your daughter independently.
I've been in very similar circumstance in our family and if your daughter has problems with this, my bet is she has problems with other issues too.. this would not be the first "fairness" reaction from her.
Email me if you would like to discuss - genejr at bayou dot net.
I've been in very similar circumstance in our family and if your daughter has problems with this, my bet is she has problems with other issues too.. this would not be the first "fairness" reaction from her.
Email me if you would like to discuss - genejr at bayou dot net.
Posted on 3/26/09 at 11:21 pm to Zach
Call it Loan and she won't be able to be upset. Have him pay it back when he can.
It worked for my parents. I only have 5k to payback out of 12k. Brother didn't mind.
It worked for my parents. I only have 5k to payback out of 12k. Brother didn't mind.
Posted on 3/27/09 at 3:35 am to Zach
Well, only you know what's best for your kids.
But, in reading the story(All I have to go on), there is no way you should really let your daughter's possible feelings get in the way of helping out your son.
Just my take.
But, in reading the story(All I have to go on), there is no way you should really let your daughter's possible feelings get in the way of helping out your son.
Just my take.
Posted on 3/27/09 at 6:15 am to coloradoBengal
quote:
Sorry, but it sounds like your daughter is a selfish bitch. Do as you see fit with your money. I wouldn't worry about any "give equal to all" nonsense.
This was my wife's opinion. She's not the mother of either but she really likes my son and his wife and doesn't care for my daughter's attitude.
Posted on 3/27/09 at 7:38 am to Zach
My sister always received more from my parents, but I have never asked for anything. My sister is also a terrific person who was still growing up at the time.
So guess what? I always felt fortunate for my situation and discipline but was also glad that my parents were able to give to my sister. She turned out great anyway. And my parents seem like they are always trying to pick up the tab for stuff when they are with us (we let them!). It seems like they were always more bothered by the inequity than me. They took pretty good care of me too, just in different ways.
So guess what? I always felt fortunate for my situation and discipline but was also glad that my parents were able to give to my sister. She turned out great anyway. And my parents seem like they are always trying to pick up the tab for stuff when they are with us (we let them!). It seems like they were always more bothered by the inequity than me. They took pretty good care of me too, just in different ways.
Posted on 3/27/09 at 8:36 am to MileHigh
quote:
well I am still pissed about inequalities in my sister and I growing up. She had a car bought for her (actually 2), I had to buy mine. her college was picked up for the first two years, I had to pay for mine.
Your parents loved your sister more than they loved you, IMO.
Posted on 3/27/09 at 8:46 am to LSURussian
quote:
Your parents loved your sister more than they loved you, IMO.
can't say I blame them.
child producing minister compared to a pot smoking atheist fast food worker. Hell, I like her more than I like me.
Posted on 3/27/09 at 8:47 am to MileHigh
Me, too, FWIW.
Posted on 3/27/09 at 8:49 am to LSURussian
my sister wouldn't like you though.
Posted on 3/27/09 at 8:52 am to MileHigh
You two need to get over this juvenile little e-feud.
Posted on 3/27/09 at 8:56 am to MileHigh
quote:
pot smoking atheist fast food worker
quote:
Hell
Acceptance is the first step to recovery! Even if it's simply acknowledging the dark side!
'..if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice!'
(note: hows that for an atheist quote in a religious thread, heh heh heh)
Posted on 3/27/09 at 8:57 am to Zach
Well, I know that if it were me and 1 of my 3 kids needed and desired my offer for help, I wouldn't really be worried about "making it up" to the other 2. As adults they all need to understand ... and my thought would be that if they don't then they're just selfish.
My husband is a farmer taking over the family farm. We "bought" his dad out for a large sum of money to be paid over 5 years ... it's all paid in full now. I remember speaking with my mother-in-law and saying something about the other kids in the family thinking that we "got" everything ... she said it was none of their business (and that's her 3 other children she was talking about).
Perhaps just talk with your son and see what their financial stress level is. Maybe let them know that you'd be able to help as a loan should the need arise ... and that you'd be happy to do it.
And great story abour your dad ...
My husband is a farmer taking over the family farm. We "bought" his dad out for a large sum of money to be paid over 5 years ... it's all paid in full now. I remember speaking with my mother-in-law and saying something about the other kids in the family thinking that we "got" everything ... she said it was none of their business (and that's her 3 other children she was talking about).
Perhaps just talk with your son and see what their financial stress level is. Maybe let them know that you'd be able to help as a loan should the need arise ... and that you'd be happy to do it.
And great story abour your dad ...
Posted on 3/27/09 at 8:57 am to Cold Cous Cous
quote:
You two need to get over this juvenile little e-feud.
It's the only reason I visit TD.com.
Posted on 3/27/09 at 9:27 am to Cold Cous Cous
quote:
You two need to get over this juvenile little e-feud.
he slurred my profession, and for that I can never forgive him.
Posted on 3/27/09 at 9:32 am to Zach
quote:
This was my wife's opinion. She's not the mother of either but she really likes my son and his wife and doesn't care for my daughter's attitude.
Not trying to insult your daughter. I have kids. I love them. But I work for ME and my wife. I provide for my kids, but I have no plans to leave them anything. If its there, its there. If they need my help before I go, I will do everything I can. But my money is MY money. My stuff is MY stuff. And if they're under some kind of impression that they have any rights to it before my will is read, then they are sadly mistaken.
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