re: Married couples and joint/separate bank accounts

My wife and I have had seperate accounts for 8 years and haven't had a problem. She has always paid all the bills and when we were first married I would write her a check for my half of the bills at the end of each month. At one point about4.5 years ago we decided we would follow her career over mine and moved to Louisiana where I took a $20k pay cut and she got a $60k raise at that point she covered all bills and I paid for my truck, gym and home alarm. 2 years ago I tripled my salary and I save and she still pays the bills except for the car notes we have. When we go to dinner I will pay sometimes and sometimes she will. When we go on vacation we split that also by someone paying for the flights, dog boarding, rental car and hotel. I like it that way because if I want to go spend $3k on a gun I don't have to hear her complain and the same with her if she buys a $2k purse.

+1 on separate accounts. Works great for us, has done so for 23 years today. Joint account for mortgage, household expenses, joint savings for various goals.. Separate accounts for receiving paychecks, mad money, side projects.

We make similar incomes, plus he's paid as a 1099 for the bulk of his income. So he's got tax accounts, business accounts, trust accounts for client fees/monies, I've got hobby/side business income and expenses. That would all be madness if we tried to do it out of joint accounts.

Don't let someone else's idea of financial management as a mark of marital fidelity or the solidity of your marriage. Not every successful relationship is based on old fashioned ideas about submitting to a husband, nor is every wife an underearning spendthrift.

It doesn't matter if all your money, assets, MREs and ammo stockpiles etc. are in one single bank account, bunker, tin can or under the same mattress or scattered across the globe in a thousand different spots with an elaborate treasure map system pinpointing your hidden caches. It only matters that you and your spouse are in cahoots about how to manage your resources. If not, there will be trouble regardless of how many or how few bank accounts are in the picture.

Depends if you want a wife or roommate

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That's marriage

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Yeah, I'm about 11 years in and it's never been anywhere close to being that complicated for us. Joint account since day one and just take care of what needs taking care of. I can't imagine trying to parcel shite out like you describe, or needing to ever bother doing so.

My wife and I use separate bank accounts for now. We might revisit going the joint approach in the future, but it has not been an issue for us thus far.

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I hypothetically proposed that if I as the main source of income for my household, I would arrange an allotment of money be given to my wife for paying a certain amount of bills--be it the phone/car payments and groceries..or similar. A fair amount proportioned based on the amount that she was contributing but also giving her a small amount to spend each week if she was taking care of kids at home, etc.

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Haha you better not get married or just marry someone that makes the same amount of money as you.

I can't even imagine my wife's reaction if I proposed something like that to her (nor would I ever want to - that's not how marriage works).

"You don't make as much money as me so here's your allowance, dear...here's a little more for watching our son this afternoon." lol

Haha - sorry that concept cracks me up. But to each their own, I guess.

Money is the #1 cause of divorce. Duh, right? According to a speaker at a couples retreat my wife and I went to this last weekend, the number one money issue leading to divorce is hidden debt. I'm sure you can guess how hidden debts relate to having separate or joint accounts.

I used to think it didn't matter but I believe now days that everyone in a marriage has to be all in with zero secrets if it is going to last. Love isn't enough and plain old trust isn't enough. It takes hard work, brutal honesty and complete vulnerability between 2 people to truly live as one.

Joint accounts with all bills being paid through auto pay. I buy what I want within reason and she buys what she wants within reason. We've never had a single fight about money.

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It only matters that you and your spouse are in cahoots about how to manage your resources. If not, there will be trouble regardless of how many or how few bank accounts are in the picture.

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This is the correct answer.