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Started By
Message
3
Posted on 10/15/12 at 4:55 pm to StayGoldPB
Did you hear that Detroit was going to start putting the dimmer switch back on the floor in its new cars?
The Aggies kept getting their foot caught in the steering wheel.
The recent budgetary cuts are taking their toll at A&M. Just last week they announced the discontinuance of all driver's ed and sex education classes.
The mule died, and there was just no money with which to replace her.
One young Aggie was really afraid of catching AIDS.
So he practiced abstinence AND wore a condom.
The Aggies kept getting their foot caught in the steering wheel.
The recent budgetary cuts are taking their toll at A&M. Just last week they announced the discontinuance of all driver's ed and sex education classes.
The mule died, and there was just no money with which to replace her.
One young Aggie was really afraid of catching AIDS.
So he practiced abstinence AND wore a condom.
Posted on 10/15/12 at 4:56 pm to StayGoldPB
Not a joke, but a fact.
to the Corps member who is responsible for taking care of Reveille (their border collie mascot), that corps member is supposed to sleep on the floor and let the fricking dog have his bed.
Truth.
to the Corps member who is responsible for taking care of Reveille (their border collie mascot), that corps member is supposed to sleep on the floor and let the fricking dog have his bed.
Truth.
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:04 pm to SabiDojo
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:08 pm to TXGunslinger10
How do you get an Aggie grad off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
Pay him for the pizza.
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:13 pm to Queen
Why are rectal thermometers banned in College Station?
They cause too much brain damage.
Why did the Aggie's team airliner crash?
It ran out of coal.
What do you call a female Aggie with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant.
They cause too much brain damage.
Why did the Aggie's team airliner crash?
It ran out of coal.
What do you call a female Aggie with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant.
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:23 pm to 3xlsugrad
Aggie walks into a bar with a pig under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get that?" Pig says, "Won him in a raffle."
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:30 pm to TXGunslinger10
quote:
Aggie Jokes Thread
Louisiana State University and Agricultural and Mechanical College
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:34 pm to Smoke Ring
quote:
Smoke Ring
Sounds like what the 12th man club does when they get together.
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:37 pm to TXGunslinger10
When OJ was running from the law, how come they never bothered checking College Station?
Becuase they knew that there's no heisman trophy winners in that town!
Becuase they knew that there's no heisman trophy winners in that town!
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:39 pm to tbonetiger
A Smoke Ring is formed on the outside of properly smoked barbecue.
But don't let me stop y'all from looking for "the gay" in everything ... folks sure enjoy it and do it around here a lot.
But don't let me stop y'all from looking for "the gay" in everything ... folks sure enjoy it and do it around here a lot.
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:39 pm to Tigerlair78
Why don't they serve ice in the drinks at Kyle Field?
The guy with the recipe graduated
The guy with the recipe graduated
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:41 pm to tbonetiger
quote:
12th man club does when they get together
circle jerk
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:42 pm to TXGunslinger10
Did you hear the one about the Aggie proctologist?
It was poker night at his place so he dropped by the liquor store to buy beer, mixers, chips, etc. He didn't have enough cash so he pulled out his check book, reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a rectal thermometer and said, "shite!, some a-hole's got my ballpoint pen."
It was poker night at his place so he dropped by the liquor store to buy beer, mixers, chips, etc. He didn't have enough cash so he pulled out his check book, reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a rectal thermometer and said, "shite!, some a-hole's got my ballpoint pen."
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:43 pm to AliveAtTheHiveTiger
An Aggie was riding an elevator to his apartment when the elevator stopped and a beautiful
woman got on. After the doors closed she hit the STOP button and ripped of all of her clothes
throwing them in a pile on the floor. 'Make me feel like a woman', she says.
The Aggie says OK rips off his clothes, throwing them on her pile of clothes.
'Alright', he said 'do the laundry.
woman got on. After the doors closed she hit the STOP button and ripped of all of her clothes
throwing them in a pile on the floor. 'Make me feel like a woman', she says.
The Aggie says OK rips off his clothes, throwing them on her pile of clothes.
'Alright', he said 'do the laundry.
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:45 pm to Armymann50
These two Aggies were standing on a corner next to an old stray dog. All of a sudden, the dog started licking his balls. One Aggie looked down and said, "Boy, I sure wish I could do that." The other Aggie leaned around and said, "Go ahead, he looks friendly..."
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:47 pm to Armymann50
The huge corn-fed Aggie decided to try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the Aggie. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"
The Aggie hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the Aggie. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"
The Aggie hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:48 pm to Armymann50
A&M's football coach was asked his secret of evaluating raw recruits.
"Well," he said, "I take 'em out in the woods and make 'em run. The ones that go around the trees, I make into running backs. The ones that run into the trees, I turn into linemen."
"Well," he said, "I take 'em out in the woods and make 'em run. The ones that go around the trees, I make into running backs. The ones that run into the trees, I turn into linemen."
Posted on 10/15/12 at 5:59 pm to Armymann50
Aggie 1: "Hey, did you hear their is a case of hepatitus going around the dorm?"
Aggie 2: "Awesome! I'm getting tired of Bud Light."
Did you hear about the Aggie million-dollar lottery winner? He demanded his dollar back when he found out he'd be paid in installments.
An Aggie decided he wanted to take up quail hunting, so he went to one of the top breeders of bird dogs around. The breeder obliged the Aggie by lending him one of his prize bird dogs for a trial hunt. When the Aggie returned to the breeder, the breeder noticed the Aggie had not killed any quail. This piqued the breeder's curiosity. The breeder asked if there was a problem with the dog. "Well," the Aggie said, I'm not too impressed with this dog. Every few yards the dog would come to an abrubt stop, pull one paw up into the air, stick out his tail, and stare at the ground completely motionless. However, after beating him a few times with a stick, I broke him of this habit!
Aggie 2: "Awesome! I'm getting tired of Bud Light."
Did you hear about the Aggie million-dollar lottery winner? He demanded his dollar back when he found out he'd be paid in installments.
An Aggie decided he wanted to take up quail hunting, so he went to one of the top breeders of bird dogs around. The breeder obliged the Aggie by lending him one of his prize bird dogs for a trial hunt. When the Aggie returned to the breeder, the breeder noticed the Aggie had not killed any quail. This piqued the breeder's curiosity. The breeder asked if there was a problem with the dog. "Well," the Aggie said, I'm not too impressed with this dog. Every few yards the dog would come to an abrubt stop, pull one paw up into the air, stick out his tail, and stare at the ground completely motionless. However, after beating him a few times with a stick, I broke him of this habit!
Posted on 10/15/12 at 6:03 pm to 8thyearsenior
A little long but worth it:
An Aggie student was hitchhiking back to school and was late for classes. A truck driver pulled over to give him a lift but told the aggie that he could not stop for anything because he was late for his delivery. After about an hour into the drive the aggie tells the driver to pull over so he could take a dump. The truck driver refused. Thirty minutes later the aggie asked again to stop. The driver refused. Fifteen minutes later the aggie tells the driver if he doesn't pull over he will take a dump in his cab. The driver pulls over and a few minutes later the aggie yells back "you have any toilet paper?" The driver says no and the aggie asked him what to do. The driver says "use a dollar." The aggie finishes up and as they are heading down the highway the driver smells a nasty odor coming from the passenger side. He asked the aggie if he wiped his arse and the aggie said "have you ever tried to wipe your arse with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel."
An Aggie student was hitchhiking back to school and was late for classes. A truck driver pulled over to give him a lift but told the aggie that he could not stop for anything because he was late for his delivery. After about an hour into the drive the aggie tells the driver to pull over so he could take a dump. The truck driver refused. Thirty minutes later the aggie asked again to stop. The driver refused. Fifteen minutes later the aggie tells the driver if he doesn't pull over he will take a dump in his cab. The driver pulls over and a few minutes later the aggie yells back "you have any toilet paper?" The driver says no and the aggie asked him what to do. The driver says "use a dollar." The aggie finishes up and as they are heading down the highway the driver smells a nasty odor coming from the passenger side. He asked the aggie if he wiped his arse and the aggie said "have you ever tried to wipe your arse with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel."
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