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The Best Skip Bertman Lines about Mississippi State
Posted on 3/18/21 at 8:32 am
Posted on 3/18/21 at 8:32 am
In honor of this weekend's first SEC series, I wanted to post some Skip Bertman lines that are as brutal as they are hilarious...
Please post any of the ones you know about that I missed...
"The loneliest guy in Starkville is the tooth fairy"
"Team plane lands in Starkville, and the pilot says 'Welcome to Starkville, please set your clocks back 20 years!'"
"When we book our hotel room in Starkville, we always ask for a room without a view..."
"There's only one beauty parlor there, and they only give estimates..."
"A Miss. State student won the science fair. He made a stick out of a piece of wood."
"NASA is moving the space program to Starkville because it has no atmosphere."
"Starkville is an Indian word for 'trailer park'"
"Coach Polk invited me to his house for a Bar B Que. He told me he had split level housing. Turns out it was just a double wide on the side of a hill."
"A tornado once went through Starkville and did a million dollars of improvements"
"The first time I took the team to Starkville and the players were studying for finals on the bus ride there. Mississippi state police stopped our bus and arrested our players for attempting to smuggle books into Mississippi. We were able the get the charges dropped though because no judge in Mississippi had ever actually seen a book before."
"Starkville is where the toothbrush was invented. Anywhere else and it would have been called a teethbrush."
"After I got to know Ron and his wife, they invited me over to his house once when the team was playing in Starkville. Ron was so proud of his new house, especially the house's sunken living room. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was only because one of his trailer's tires was flat...."
Please post any of the ones you know about that I missed...
"The loneliest guy in Starkville is the tooth fairy"
"Team plane lands in Starkville, and the pilot says 'Welcome to Starkville, please set your clocks back 20 years!'"
"When we book our hotel room in Starkville, we always ask for a room without a view..."
"There's only one beauty parlor there, and they only give estimates..."
"A Miss. State student won the science fair. He made a stick out of a piece of wood."
"NASA is moving the space program to Starkville because it has no atmosphere."
"Starkville is an Indian word for 'trailer park'"
"Coach Polk invited me to his house for a Bar B Que. He told me he had split level housing. Turns out it was just a double wide on the side of a hill."
"A tornado once went through Starkville and did a million dollars of improvements"
"The first time I took the team to Starkville and the players were studying for finals on the bus ride there. Mississippi state police stopped our bus and arrested our players for attempting to smuggle books into Mississippi. We were able the get the charges dropped though because no judge in Mississippi had ever actually seen a book before."
"Starkville is where the toothbrush was invented. Anywhere else and it would have been called a teethbrush."
"After I got to know Ron and his wife, they invited me over to his house once when the team was playing in Starkville. Ron was so proud of his new house, especially the house's sunken living room. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was only because one of his trailer's tires was flat...."
12
Posted on 3/18/21 at 8:34 am to ell_13
Lol these threads every year are awesome
How I wish we could go back to the skip days. Truly a dynasty
How I wish we could go back to the skip days. Truly a dynasty
Posted on 3/18/21 at 8:35 am to ell_13
Love it!!!
Posted on 3/18/21 at 8:36 am to ell_13
Some of those are beyond funny. The science fair one is gold.
Gold, Jerry. Gold.
Gold, Jerry. Gold.
Posted on 3/18/21 at 8:50 am to mtntiger
Starkville’s population is amazing, it never changes. Guy gets girl pregnant...Girl has baby...Guy leaves town.
Posted on 3/18/21 at 8:55 am to ell_13
quote:
Ron was so proud of his new house, especially the house's sunken living room. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was only because one of his trailer's tires was flat...."
Lol’d at my desk reading this one
Posted on 3/18/21 at 9:13 am to HTX Bayou Bengal
These are funny but what is hilarious is when you hear Skip deliver them in person. He was not only the GOAT baseball coach, he is one of the best stand up comics I ever heard.
I remember the first time I heard the one about the tornado causing 1 million dollars in improvements. He was telling what seemed to be a serious story of a storm hitting Starkville, then this was the punchline.
It was a banquet at the Jefferson Orleans reception hall in Metairie right after Saban was hired and Saban was also on the dais. I have been watching Saban for 20 years and this is the only time I have ever seen him cracking up laughing.
I remember the first time I heard the one about the tornado causing 1 million dollars in improvements. He was telling what seemed to be a serious story of a storm hitting Starkville, then this was the punchline.
It was a banquet at the Jefferson Orleans reception hall in Metairie right after Saban was hired and Saban was also on the dais. I have been watching Saban for 20 years and this is the only time I have ever seen him cracking up laughing.
Posted on 3/18/21 at 9:19 am to geauxpurple
Skip put on a fall ball camp back in 90 or 91. the teams would go to his batting cages on tuesday's for drills/batting cage "games", then thursdays we would go to alex box for drills. his players were our coaches. he was there most of the time, and was definitely a character.
Posted on 3/18/21 at 9:21 am to ell_13
quote:
"When we book our hotel room in Starkville, we always ask for a room without a view..."
Posted on 3/18/21 at 9:24 am to ell_13
is there any videos of him actually saying any of these things? I would love to see it "live" just so I can laugh even harder
Posted on 3/18/21 at 9:26 am to tigeraddict
Skip is one of a kind...class act...fall off your chair funny, a great marketer, and oh yea...knows a thing or 2 about building a great baseball program. 4everLSU grateful for his contributions to LSU
Posted on 3/18/21 at 9:36 am to ell_13
One of the best was from an MSU fan though. Skip said they were getting on Jeremy Witten pretty hard one series and a fan yelled out “hey Witten your ears are so big you can hear sign language!” Ha, brutal.
Posted on 3/18/21 at 9:49 am to Honest Tune
Was it a Skip line about the library on campus burning down? The biggest tragedy is that most of the books hadn't been colored in yet.
Posted on 3/18/21 at 9:52 am to Abraham H Parnassis
That was in reference to Auburn
Posted on 3/18/21 at 9:53 am to Abraham H Parnassis
Yea the dude is basically Larry David in a baseball uniform ha.
Posted on 3/18/21 at 10:52 am to ell_13
Skip had the baseball team sell raffle tickets. The first prize was a week in Starkville. The second prize was two weeks.
Posted on 3/18/21 at 10:54 am to ell_13
I don't recall any others regarding MSU, but at a coaches committee meeting years ago we were hosting Tulane that evening. He began the meeting saying:
"If any of you have friends, or know personally any people coming up from New Orleans tonight, you can inform them that if they would just put their Tulane diploma on the dash of their car, they will be allowed to park in the handicapped lot."
"If any of you have friends, or know personally any people coming up from New Orleans tonight, you can inform them that if they would just put their Tulane diploma on the dash of their car, they will be allowed to park in the handicapped lot."
Posted on 3/18/21 at 11:31 am to tigeraddict
quote:
Skip put on a fall ball camp back in 90 or 91. the teams would go to his batting cages on tuesday's for drills/batting cage "games", then thursdays we would go to alex box for drills. his players were our coaches. he was there most of the time, and was definitely a character.
I went to these camps
I remember they put us up in hotel rooms for the weekend. Really cool.
Posted on 3/18/21 at 1:37 pm to PenguinPubes
quote:
How I wish we could go back to the skip days. Truly a dynasty
It certainly was and the Old Box was special.
Posted on 3/18/21 at 2:14 pm to ell_13
What's the definition of a virgin in Starkville? A 13-year old girl that can outrun her brothers.
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