TulaneLSU's Top 10 Dishes of CiCi's Pizza

As I gird up my loins for the TulaneLSU's Advent Pilgrimage ScADVENTger Hunt I know I need to carb load. This is going to be an arduous journey and rather than tail off and shrivel, I want to finish with a true sprint. I want to join St. Paul at my end to join him in the word, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2 Tim 4:7).

Mother graciously loaned me her car last night, and I set forth with purpose. My mission: to scout out locations to place the books and come up with challenging yet solvable riddles. I could feel rather quickly that both mind and the body would require high energy.

I remember the last time I felt this way -- 1996. Our team had just won the MSSANOLA volleyball championship. We were in the decisive third set, down 14-12. I was up for serve and there was rally scoring. In one of my proudest lifetime moments, I nailed two underhanded aces on the way to an historic, unforgettable 16-14 championship win. The gymnasium at Muss Bertolino erupted in obstreperous applause. Families and friends wept as they ran onto the court to celebrate. I was hoisted up onto my coach's shoulders as he streaked from one side of the court to the other yelling, "TulaneLSU (real name redacted), you did it!"

It was an incredible feeling. So incredible that in my state of bliss, apparently, my detrusor muscle contracted momentarily. Coach quickly dethroned me from the seat of his shoulders. But the celebration continued on.

Providence would have it that we were less than one mile from the first Cici's location in the NOLA Metro, located in Chateau where the old Sunbasket Grocery existed. Cici's had just opened the previous year on June 18. It offered all-you-can eat for $2.99. Jones may remember this location well, as it was next to a Major Video.

To say that I carb loaded on that evening 23 years ago is an understatement. I celebrated as only a conquering hero could and ate enough to put one of buttocksnclarse's weekends to shame. If you've ever watched a Decepticon scarf down energon cubes, that was me at the pizza counter.

As I drove around and let me my mind focus on the many possibilities, Cici's name flashed in my brain. I thought, "Tonight's a perfect night for Cici's!" Perhaps the seed was planted by a Food Board poster who asked if I could make a top 10 Cici's list as well. I drove miles past what appeared to be a decaying retail area of Kenner.

That portion of W Esplanade west of Williams is depressing. The road is torn up as repairs are made. Esplanade Mall was empty. The old AMC and Walmart and Sav-A-Center strip mall, which also contained a Blockbuster where I purchased my first copy of The Sound of Music, all shuttered and the mall's carcass empty save for some strange store called At Home. I considered stopping to check on their Top 10 Christmas ornaments, but by this time, my blood sugar was at a dangerously low level. Cici's was just beyond the horizon.

Or so I thought. That Chateau strip mall was nearly gone! Cici's is no more. I stopped the car, parked and got out. I fell to my knees and looked around at what had become of this site of a beautiful memory of mine. Some people don't care, but when the physical locations of memories are destroyed, I hurt. A piece of me feels as though it has been lost. That's one reason Katrina was so traumatic to me. The loss of so much material structure that gave form to my memories, gone. Like I said, for some, it means nothing, but for me, perhaps being so sensitive, it does hurt.

I regrouped and googled. Thankfully, there was a Cici's in Metairie on Airline. I drove down Williams and hit a left at Airline where a Wagner's Meat once was -- it too is gone. Soon I was passing Skate Country. One day I'll share with you the specifics of a 1997 birthday party there, where I proposed to my 12 year old girlfriend at the center of the rink -- I even had the DJ involved. She broke my heart and declined, but that's for another time.

Finally, I had arrived. This Cici's was nothing like the one in my memory. It felt small, cheap, dirty, and all the people there were obese. None of them had appropriate dining attire. There were lots of t-shirts, all untucked, and jeans. I don't think a single male was wearing ironed slacked, except me. Zero button up shirts, except me. No leather dress shoes, except me. I must have stuck out like Rudolph there, as I would have been accepted at Commander's and these slobs didn't deserve entrance at Walmart.

Unlike most Top 10 lists, where I count down leading to the best, this article will be arranged slightly different. The buffet style means that multiple items will appear in the same picture. As such, I will rate each items that appears in the pictures and then at the end give a listing based on rating. Is that okay with you?



Some say that all pizza places should be judged by the margherita pizza. I disagree. I believe it should be judged on plain cheese. Cici's didn't have just cheese, at least when I went up, so I chose cheese's approximate, pepperoni. It was a slightly below average slice. The pepperoni was nice and crisp. The sauce had a mild tang, but mostly it was overpowered by a sweet sauce reminiscent of Papa John's. 3/10



Do you remember Little Caesar's Pizza Pizza? I believe it was two medium two toppers for $8.88. They would serve them in a unique paper carrying mat covered in a paper sleeve stapled on one end. When you opened it, it was like opening a Christmas present. My toppings of choice were pepperoni and Canadian bacon. It was so fun saying Canadian bacon. As a child, I truly believed this was bacon imported from Canada and it was what Canadians ate as bacon. This meatlover's pizza, with Canadian bacon, pepperoni, sausage, and American bacon, reminded me of those Little Caesar's pizza. Its slightly charred crust was reminiscent of Roberta's in Brooklyn. I asked the pizzaiola if they were burning oak in their ovens as well, but she couldn't give me an answer. 5/10



On my next trip up, the offerings were slim so I loaded up some more pepperoni. I think this was BBQ chicken pizza -- it was sweet and the chicken tasted like flavored plastic. It was one of the worst pizzas I've ever had. 0/10. This type of trash might fly in a city that doesn't appreciate pizza, like Chicago, but not here, my friends. The thin crust spinach slice was dry and far too crackery. The best thin crust in the city remains at Domino's. 1/10 for the spinach.