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Attention Central Market shoppers...

Posted on 8/24/09 at 9:21 am
Posted by offshoreangler
713, Texas
Member since Jun 2008
22314 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 9:21 am
I made the mistake of going to CM Sunday afternoon instead of early in the morning or later at night to avoid the riff raff and this is what I found...

1. CM isn't Sam's Club/buffet, don't walk around sampling random fruits off the shelf with a bottle of 9 dollar wine being the only thing in your basket. I'll cut you next time I see you there.

2. To the French family that was doing your weekly shopping for smelly arse cheeses, learn some fricking manners. This is Houston God damned Texas for Christ's sake, not NYC or LA or Dallas. If you don't say excuse me or I'm sorry when your pillow biting kid runs your shopping cart over my boots, I will fricking fight you. Also, your kid will be a giant queer, I mean Liberache/Micheal Jackson queer, when he gets older. No 10 year old should wear capris and carry a murse around.

3. a-hole at the register who bought 500 dollars of the most random shite on the planet, I understand CM has some pretty interesting stuff, but honestly, what the frick are you going to do with it all? Hit cookies and 100 dollars worth of shite from the olive bar won't make a meal.
This post was edited on 8/24/09 at 7:23 pm
Posted by JoeBobRuby
Member since Sep 2005
5921 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 9:36 am to
chill
Posted by TexasTiger05
Member since Aug 2007
28326 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 9:38 am to
quote:

1. CM isn't Sam's Club/buffet,

A freaking men. That store wasnt planned for high traffic. Dont have people setting up sampling stuff when you have to squeeze past them in your cart. I often want to try their stuff, but figure eff it when I see the hold up or the line.


The worst was right before Christmas when I had to run in and get just one pie. They had Victorian era carolers in hoop skirts going through the store. You couldnt move past them. I wanted to punch them out.



4. The lady from random small town, Tx- look it- you have to weigh your fruit and get a scan tag for it. People are not just ultra cost conscious in this store, so when you see them doing this follow suit. Dont bitch out the checker for not knowing how to do this.
Posted by 8thyearsenior
Centennial, CO
Member since Mar 2006
4280 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 9:38 am to
I'd rather be raped by an angry bear than go to CM on a weekend afternoon. It is stupid packed.
Posted by tejastigre
Sao Paulo/ Rio de Janeiro
Member since Nov 2008
909 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 10:18 am to
they have bands playing outside for free just to keep people haning out around the store, most of those people dont even buy anything
Posted by Bussemer
Heading South
Member since Dec 2007
2521 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 1:27 pm to
quote:

I will fricking fight you


This made me IRL
Posted by Cdawg
TigerFred's Living Room
Member since Sep 2003
59491 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 1:33 pm to


I know what you mean. All HEB's are fricking hell on the weekends. But damnit, there's a reason.
Posted by el tigre
your heart
Member since Sep 2003
49712 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 1:44 pm to
bravo.
Posted by tigermojo
Town o' the Cow
Member since Sep 2003
6331 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 1:50 pm to
quote:

1. CM isn't Sam's Club/buffet, don't walk around sampling random fruits off the shelf with a bottle of 9 dollar wine being the only thing in your basket. I'll cut you next time I see you there again.


You'd have to cut me. We call it "Happy Hour" and scarf up all the goodies and then head on over the beer/wine dept. They pretty much have to give you a taste of what they're pouring, and it's usually something good. Or several somethings good.

But, yeah, that place can get seriously jammed up on the weekend.
Posted by Kingwood Tiger
Katy, TX
Member since Jul 2005
14162 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 1:51 pm to
went there week or so ago, and saw some straight up "Driving Miss Daisy" shite. Big black car drives up to the front door, old black man comes out and opens umbrella and gives it to this old lady as she exits the car, so that she could walk 5 feet without the sun hitting her in her surgically repaired face.
Posted by offshoreangler
713, Texas
Member since Jun 2008
22314 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 2:17 pm to
Sampling the shite that they have cut up for people is fine, but picking grapes, strawberries, blueberries, whatever the frick berries out of their packaging isn't mother fricking kosher.

The bread is what kills me, they will sit there for a few minutes gobbling as much bread as they can get down their gullet. I saw someone putting food in their mouth with the tongs used to serve yourself.

Posted by kfizzle85
Member since Dec 2005
22022 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 2:36 pm to
quote:

I saw someone putting food in their mouth with the tongs used to serve yourself.





Posted by Martini
Near Athens
Member since Mar 2005
48838 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 4:23 pm to
quote:

they have bands playing outside for free just to keep people haning out around the store, most of those people dont even buy anything


I've sat outside one in San Antonio and listened to The Almost Patsy Kline Band, ate ribs, danced and drank massive amounts of Shiner Bock. They will cook anything for you. We liked the band so much we have hired them several times to play functions.
Posted by TIEF
Member since Jul 2007
1113 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 5:30 pm to
Get the Chicken Portebello Sandwich...add the fresh Avacado....You will ENJOY!!!!!!!!
Posted by pochejp
Gonzales, Louisiana
Member since Jan 2007
7855 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 7:18 pm to
quote:

To the French family that was doing your weekly shopping for smelly arse cheeses, learn some fricking manners. This is Houston God damned Texas for Christ's sake, not NYC or LA or Dallas. If you don't say excuse me or I'm sorry when your pillow biting kid runs your shopping cart over my boots, I will fricking fight you. Also, your kid will be a giant queer, I mean Liberache/Micheal Jackson queer, when he gets older. No 10 year old should wear capris and carry a murse around.


Posted by Spankum
Miss-sippi
Member since Jan 2007
56010 posts
Posted on 8/24/09 at 8:45 pm to
quote:

The bread is what kills me, they will sit there for a few minutes gobbling as much bread as they can get down their gullet. I saw someone putting food in their mouth with the tongs used to serve yourself.
Posted by offshoreangler
713, Texas
Member since Jun 2008
22314 posts
Posted on 8/31/09 at 1:05 pm to
Dude in the "Houston Heights" t-shirt from last night, ya you, get fricked.

Your kids chewing on lemongrass stalks then dropping them on the floor made me want to stab you in the neck with a punji stick.



GOD DAMNIT PEOPLE, STOP EATING shite OFF THE SHELF, THIS ISN'T A BUFFET.
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