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Started By
Message
Attention Central Market shoppers...
Posted on 8/24/09 at 9:21 am
Posted on 8/24/09 at 9:21 am
I made the mistake of going to CM Sunday afternoon instead of early in the morning or later at night to avoid the riff raff and this is what I found...
1. CM isn't Sam's Club/buffet, don't walk around sampling random fruits off the shelf with a bottle of 9 dollar wine being the only thing in your basket. I'll cut you next time I see you there.
2. To the French family that was doing your weekly shopping for smelly arse cheeses, learn some fricking manners. This is Houston God damned Texas for Christ's sake, not NYC or LA or Dallas. If you don't say excuse me or I'm sorry when your pillow biting kid runs your shopping cart over my boots, I will fricking fight you. Also, your kid will be a giant queer, I mean Liberache/Micheal Jackson queer, when he gets older. No 10 year old should wear capris and carry a murse around.
3. a-hole at the register who bought 500 dollars of the most random shite on the planet, I understand CM has some pretty interesting stuff, but honestly, what the frick are you going to do with it all? Hit cookies and 100 dollars worth of shite from the olive bar won't make a meal.
1. CM isn't Sam's Club/buffet, don't walk around sampling random fruits off the shelf with a bottle of 9 dollar wine being the only thing in your basket. I'll cut you next time I see you there.
2. To the French family that was doing your weekly shopping for smelly arse cheeses, learn some fricking manners. This is Houston God damned Texas for Christ's sake, not NYC or LA or Dallas. If you don't say excuse me or I'm sorry when your pillow biting kid runs your shopping cart over my boots, I will fricking fight you. Also, your kid will be a giant queer, I mean Liberache/Micheal Jackson queer, when he gets older. No 10 year old should wear capris and carry a murse around.
3. a-hole at the register who bought 500 dollars of the most random shite on the planet, I understand CM has some pretty interesting stuff, but honestly, what the frick are you going to do with it all? Hit cookies and 100 dollars worth of shite from the olive bar won't make a meal.
This post was edited on 8/24/09 at 7:23 pm
9
Posted on 8/24/09 at 9:36 am to offshoreangler
chill
Posted on 8/24/09 at 9:38 am to offshoreangler
quote:
1. CM isn't Sam's Club/buffet,
A freaking men. That store wasnt planned for high traffic. Dont have people setting up sampling stuff when you have to squeeze past them in your cart. I often want to try their stuff, but figure eff it when I see the hold up or the line.
The worst was right before Christmas when I had to run in and get just one pie. They had Victorian era carolers in hoop skirts going through the store. You couldnt move past them. I wanted to punch them out.
4. The lady from random small town, Tx- look it- you have to weigh your fruit and get a scan tag for it. People are not just ultra cost conscious in this store, so when you see them doing this follow suit. Dont bitch out the checker for not knowing how to do this.
Posted on 8/24/09 at 9:38 am to offshoreangler
I'd rather be raped by an angry bear than go to CM on a weekend afternoon. It is stupid packed.
Posted on 8/24/09 at 10:18 am to TexasTiger05
they have bands playing outside for free just to keep people haning out around the store, most of those people dont even buy anything
Posted on 8/24/09 at 1:27 pm to offshoreangler
quote:
I will fricking fight you
This made me
IRL
Posted on 8/24/09 at 1:33 pm to offshoreangler
I know what you mean. All HEB's are fricking hell on the weekends. But damnit, there's a reason.
Posted on 8/24/09 at 1:44 pm to offshoreangler
bravo.
Posted on 8/24/09 at 1:50 pm to offshoreangler
quote:
1. CM isn't Sam's Club/buffet, don't walk around sampling random fruits off the shelf with a bottle of 9 dollar wine being the only thing in your basket. I'll cut you next time I see you there again.
You'd have to cut me. We call it "Happy Hour" and scarf up all the goodies and then head on over the beer/wine dept. They pretty much have to give you a taste of what they're pouring, and it's usually something good. Or several somethings good.
But, yeah, that place can get seriously jammed up on the weekend.
Posted on 8/24/09 at 1:51 pm to el tigre
went there week or so ago, and saw some straight up "Driving Miss Daisy" shite. Big black car drives up to the front door, old black man comes out and opens umbrella and gives it to this old lady as she exits the car, so that she could walk 5 feet without the sun hitting her in her surgically repaired face.
Posted on 8/24/09 at 2:17 pm to tigermojo
Sampling the shite that they have cut up for people is fine, but picking grapes, strawberries, blueberries, whatever the frick berries out of their packaging isn't mother fricking kosher.
The bread is what kills me, they will sit there for a few minutes gobbling as much bread as they can get down their gullet. I saw someone putting food in their mouth with the tongs used to serve yourself.
The bread is what kills me, they will sit there for a few minutes gobbling as much bread as they can get down their gullet. I saw someone putting food in their mouth with the tongs used to serve yourself.
Posted on 8/24/09 at 2:36 pm to offshoreangler
quote:
I saw someone putting food in their mouth with the tongs used to serve yourself.
Posted on 8/24/09 at 4:23 pm to tejastigre
quote:
they have bands playing outside for free just to keep people haning out around the store, most of those people dont even buy anything
I've sat outside one in San Antonio and listened to The Almost Patsy Kline Band, ate ribs, danced and drank massive amounts of Shiner Bock. They will cook anything for you. We liked the band so much we have hired them several times to play functions.
Posted on 8/24/09 at 5:30 pm to Martini
Get the Chicken Portebello Sandwich...add the fresh Avacado....You will ENJOY!!!!!!!!
Posted on 8/24/09 at 7:18 pm to offshoreangler
quote:
To the French family that was doing your weekly shopping for smelly arse cheeses, learn some fricking manners. This is Houston God damned Texas for Christ's sake, not NYC or LA or Dallas. If you don't say excuse me or I'm sorry when your pillow biting kid runs your shopping cart over my boots, I will fricking fight you. Also, your kid will be a giant queer, I mean Liberache/Micheal Jackson queer, when he gets older. No 10 year old should wear capris and carry a murse around.
Posted on 8/24/09 at 8:45 pm to offshoreangler
quote:
The bread is what kills me, they will sit there for a few minutes gobbling as much bread as they can get down their gullet. I saw someone putting food in their mouth with the tongs used to serve yourself.
Posted on 8/31/09 at 1:05 pm to offshoreangler
Dude in the "Houston Heights" t-shirt from last night, ya you, get fricked.
Your kids chewing on lemongrass stalks then dropping them on the floor made me want to stab you in the neck with a punji stick.
GOD DAMNIT PEOPLE, STOP EATING shite OFF THE SHELF, THIS ISN'T A BUFFET.
Your kids chewing on lemongrass stalks then dropping them on the floor made me want to stab you in the neck with a punji stick.
GOD DAMNIT PEOPLE, STOP EATING shite OFF THE SHELF, THIS ISN'T A BUFFET.
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