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Started By
Message
Parents of the OT...and ONLY parents of the OT....dealing with a kid and discouragement
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:29 pm
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:29 pm
First, I know I’m coming to the right place for this.
How do you deal? I’ve got one that I’m dealing with right now wanting to quit every single time he’s facing defeat/adversity.
He’s an 8 year old starting a new activity from scratch and in his mind, he should already be winning everything. Has a severe problem with losing. If he’s losing, he will try to find an avenue to quit even though he’s just starting out.
Anyone ever have this sort of an issue with a child? I understand that there are nothing but champion kids here on the tourney ball field and all, but this is an issue I’m trying to meet head first. Anyone ever been through this phase with a kid and how’d it turn out? What was the trick other than sticking with it?
#1. He’s not quitting
#2. Tried to tell him the struggling makes him stronger, but an 8 year old doesn’t understand that.
#3. He’s not quitting regardless
Keep in mind, he enjoys doing what he’s doing. He can’t handle his emotions.
How do you deal? I’ve got one that I’m dealing with right now wanting to quit every single time he’s facing defeat/adversity.
He’s an 8 year old starting a new activity from scratch and in his mind, he should already be winning everything. Has a severe problem with losing. If he’s losing, he will try to find an avenue to quit even though he’s just starting out.
Anyone ever have this sort of an issue with a child? I understand that there are nothing but champion kids here on the tourney ball field and all, but this is an issue I’m trying to meet head first. Anyone ever been through this phase with a kid and how’d it turn out? What was the trick other than sticking with it?
#1. He’s not quitting
#2. Tried to tell him the struggling makes him stronger, but an 8 year old doesn’t understand that.
#3. He’s not quitting regardless
Keep in mind, he enjoys doing what he’s doing. He can’t handle his emotions.
41
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:30 pm to Prominentwon
Cocaine and hookers
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:30 pm to beerJeep
Fully expected that to be answer #1
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:30 pm to Prominentwon
Maybe he hates playing the sport...
Don't force it on him.
Don't force it on him.
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:30 pm to Prominentwon
Tell him bitches don’t like bitches
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:31 pm to Prominentwon
Let his father deal with this
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:31 pm to Prominentwon
Orange with banana fingers.. tapping
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:32 pm to Prominentwon
Reverse psychology, if he quits he's losing. It is good to hear your enemies lamenting as they are crushed and driven before you.
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:33 pm to Prominentwon
It's a maturity thing. Your approach is the correct one. Let him know he's committed to the team for this season and they are counting on him. He will see most of the other boys also struggle and aren't perfect all the time.
The kid I played with my whole life who had the worst emotional control of anyone I knew, crying and throwing his glove during games and so forth ended up becoming a major leaguer.
Kids aren't small adults. The game will teach him valuable leasons.
The kid I played with my whole life who had the worst emotional control of anyone I knew, crying and throwing his glove during games and so forth ended up becoming a major leaguer.
Kids aren't small adults. The game will teach him valuable leasons.
This post was edited on 3/16/21 at 8:38 pm
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:33 pm to Prominentwon
Every time he wins a ring, trophy or medal, take it from him and throw it in the trash can in front of him and all his coaches, teammates and the other parents.
If you dont then you're not serious about solving the problem your son has
If you dont then you're not serious about solving the problem your son has
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:33 pm to LSU Coyote
quote:
Orange with banana fingers.. tapping
RIP
quote:
Your oldest child?
Youngest
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:34 pm to Prominentwon
Break it down so little victories build on themselves.
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:34 pm to Prominentwon
What activity are you taking about? Baseball?
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:34 pm to Prominentwon
Just keep talking to him. Make him stick with it. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Possibly reward his good behavior when he doesn’t throw a temper tantrum or whatever he’s doing.
I’m not big on rewarding good behavior bc that’s what I expect (and it’s basically a bribe) but in certain situations it can be appropriate
Possibly reward his good behavior when he doesn’t throw a temper tantrum or whatever he’s doing.
I’m not big on rewarding good behavior bc that’s what I expect (and it’s basically a bribe) but in certain situations it can be appropriate
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:34 pm to Prominentwon
quote:Can you be more specific about the types of activities with which he is engaging? Team sports? Solo activities like learning a new instrument? All of the above?
starting a new activity from scratch and in his mind, he should already be winning everything.
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:35 pm to Prominentwon
Better than him being a pussy.
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:35 pm to Prominentwon
quote:
Anyone ever have this sort of an issue with a child? I understand that there are nothing but champion kids here on the tourney ball field and all, but this is an issue I’m trying to meet head first. Anyone ever been through this phase with a kid and how’d it turn out? What was the trick other than sticking with it?
My oldest was like this. Encouraging her while also making her see things through to their conclusion eventually made her stop giving up anytime something didn't come easy to her. Sometimes encouragement wasn't enough and we had to resort to punishment for not completing tasks. Not what we wanted but she never just throws her arms up and tries to quit anymore. She's far better off for it.
This post was edited on 3/16/21 at 8:35 pm
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:35 pm to Prominentwon
I’m not a parent but I am a teacher so I’ll give my 2 cents anyway.
I’ve noticed this a lot with my students. I think part of it is the instant gratification kids can get from things like video games or cell phones/internet. That starts to plant seeds and after a while kids start to expect everything to be that easy and crave the feeling they get from having the “success” they experience in those avenues.
I always just encourage my students when they start to throw in the towel on things (as a math teacher it happens frequently) in any way I can. I’ll find the one good thing they did in the problem and show them how they’re on the right track and what they can improve on to get there. If there’s a lot of things they need to improve on I start with one at a time and go from there.
Maybe your kiddo just needs to see the small things they do well in those situations and build to start training his brain to do that in every situation. There’s always good things they can build on if you look hard enough.
Hopefully that helps/make sense
I’ve noticed this a lot with my students. I think part of it is the instant gratification kids can get from things like video games or cell phones/internet. That starts to plant seeds and after a while kids start to expect everything to be that easy and crave the feeling they get from having the “success” they experience in those avenues.
I always just encourage my students when they start to throw in the towel on things (as a math teacher it happens frequently) in any way I can. I’ll find the one good thing they did in the problem and show them how they’re on the right track and what they can improve on to get there. If there’s a lot of things they need to improve on I start with one at a time and go from there.
Maybe your kiddo just needs to see the small things they do well in those situations and build to start training his brain to do that in every situation. There’s always good things they can build on if you look hard enough.
Hopefully that helps/make sense
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:36 pm to Prominentwon
Individual sport or team sport? I’m more apt to let my kid quit an individual sport mid season. Team sport, never.
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