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Parents of the OT...and ONLY parents of the OT....dealing with a kid and discouragement

Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:29 pm
Posted by Prominentwon
LSU, McNeese St. Fan
Member since Jan 2005
94888 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:29 pm
First, I know I’m coming to the right place for this.

How do you deal? I’ve got one that I’m dealing with right now wanting to quit every single time he’s facing defeat/adversity.

He’s an 8 year old starting a new activity from scratch and in his mind, he should already be winning everything. Has a severe problem with losing. If he’s losing, he will try to find an avenue to quit even though he’s just starting out.

Anyone ever have this sort of an issue with a child? I understand that there are nothing but champion kids here on the tourney ball field and all, but this is an issue I’m trying to meet head first. Anyone ever been through this phase with a kid and how’d it turn out? What was the trick other than sticking with it?

#1. He’s not quitting
#2. Tried to tell him the struggling makes him stronger, but an 8 year old doesn’t understand that.
#3. He’s not quitting regardless

Keep in mind, he enjoys doing what he’s doing. He can’t handle his emotions.

Posted by beerJeep
Louisiana
Member since Nov 2016
37886 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:30 pm to
Cocaine and hookers
Posted by Prominentwon
LSU, McNeese St. Fan
Member since Jan 2005
94888 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:30 pm to
Fully expected that to be answer #1
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
32998 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:30 pm to
Maybe he hates playing the sport...

Don't force it on him.
Posted by jimbeam
University of LSU
Member since Oct 2011
75703 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:30 pm to
Tell him bitches don’t like bitches
Posted by Cap Banga
Member since Mar 2021
111 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:31 pm to
Let his father deal with this
Posted by LSU Coyote
Member since Sep 2007
56296 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:31 pm to
Orange with banana fingers.. tapping
Posted by fightin tigers
Downtown Prairieville
Member since Mar 2008
76778 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:32 pm to
Your oldest child?
Posted by HeadSlash
TEAM LIVE BADASS - St. GEORGE
Member since Aug 2006
55218 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:32 pm to
Reverse psychology, if he quits he's losing. It is good to hear your enemies lamenting as they are crushed and driven before you.
Posted by Tiger Ryno
#WoF
Member since Feb 2007
107649 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:33 pm to
It's a maturity thing. Your approach is the correct one. Let him know he's committed to the team for this season and they are counting on him. He will see most of the other boys also struggle and aren't perfect all the time.

The kid I played with my whole life who had the worst emotional control of anyone I knew, crying and throwing his glove during games and so forth ended up becoming a major leaguer.

Kids aren't small adults. The game will teach him valuable leasons.
This post was edited on 3/16/21 at 8:38 pm
Posted by tgrbaitn08
Member since Dec 2007
148031 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:33 pm to
Every time he wins a ring, trophy or medal, take it from him and throw it in the trash can in front of him and all his coaches, teammates and the other parents.

If you dont then you're not serious about solving the problem your son has
Posted by Prominentwon
LSU, McNeese St. Fan
Member since Jan 2005
94888 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:33 pm to
quote:

Orange with banana fingers.. tapping


RIP

quote:

Your oldest child?


Youngest
Posted by beulahland
Little D'arbonne
Member since Jan 2013
4022 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:34 pm to
Break it down so little victories build on themselves.





Posted by RexKramer
Chicago
Member since Nov 2020
411 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:34 pm to
What activity are you taking about? Baseball?
Posted by GreenRockTiger
vortex to the whirlpool of despair
Member since Jun 2020
59492 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:34 pm to
Just keep talking to him. Make him stick with it. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Possibly reward his good behavior when he doesn’t throw a temper tantrum or whatever he’s doing.

I’m not big on rewarding good behavior bc that’s what I expect (and it’s basically a bribe) but in certain situations it can be appropriate
Posted by When in Rome
Telegraph Road
Member since Jan 2011
36175 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:34 pm to
quote:

starting a new activity from scratch and in his mind, he should already be winning everything.
Can you be more specific about the types of activities with which he is engaging? Team sports? Solo activities like learning a new instrument? All of the above?
Posted by Mingo Was His NameO
Brooklyn
Member since Mar 2016
37536 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:35 pm to
Better than him being a pussy.
Posted by imjustafatkid
Alabama
Member since Dec 2011
63370 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:35 pm to
quote:

Anyone ever have this sort of an issue with a child? I understand that there are nothing but champion kids here on the tourney ball field and all, but this is an issue I’m trying to meet head first. Anyone ever been through this phase with a kid and how’d it turn out? What was the trick other than sticking with it?


My oldest was like this. Encouraging her while also making her see things through to their conclusion eventually made her stop giving up anytime something didn't come easy to her. Sometimes encouragement wasn't enough and we had to resort to punishment for not completing tasks. Not what we wanted but she never just throws her arms up and tries to quit anymore. She's far better off for it.
This post was edited on 3/16/21 at 8:35 pm
Posted by Pedro
Geaux Hawks
Member since Jul 2008
38608 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:35 pm to
I’m not a parent but I am a teacher so I’ll give my 2 cents anyway.

I’ve noticed this a lot with my students. I think part of it is the instant gratification kids can get from things like video games or cell phones/internet. That starts to plant seeds and after a while kids start to expect everything to be that easy and crave the feeling they get from having the “success” they experience in those avenues.

I always just encourage my students when they start to throw in the towel on things (as a math teacher it happens frequently) in any way I can. I’ll find the one good thing they did in the problem and show them how they’re on the right track and what they can improve on to get there. If there’s a lot of things they need to improve on I start with one at a time and go from there.

Maybe your kiddo just needs to see the small things they do well in those situations and build to start training his brain to do that in every situation. There’s always good things they can build on if you look hard enough.

Hopefully that helps/make sense
Posted by Ric Flair
Charlotte
Member since Oct 2005
13872 posts
Posted on 3/16/21 at 8:36 pm to
Individual sport or team sport? I’m more apt to let my kid quit an individual sport mid season. Team sport, never.
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