re: Parents of the OT...and ONLY parents of the OT....dealing with a kid and discouragement

Failing/losing is important in developing humility that leads one to working harder.

quote:

---

Or he could just start winning.

---

How would he know what winning feels like if he's never won.....

Kinda like you Mingo..

quote:

---

For wrestling, did he know what he was getting into (amateur vs pro wrestling)?

---

quote:

---

Ric Flair

---

WOOO!!!

I probably watched my first Rocky movie around that age. Good lesson for getting beat, training hard, and finally winning. Or maybe the karate kid movie? Something to keep him training and motivated if he genuinely likes the sport.

quote:

---

let him get his arse kicked a couple times

---

Oh don’t worry. That’s what’s happening to him now in practices. That’s why he’s having such a difficult time

quote:

---

am a teacher so I’ll give my 2 cents anyway.

---

God bless you, and thank you for your hard work and dedication to your students!

Parents do an enormous disservice to their kids all the time.

Mostly by praising them. “Aww honey, you got an A because you are so smart.” Or “of course you hit a home run. You are such a good athlete.” And on and on.

Kids become to believe they are gifted and owed easy success. It sets them up for failure.

Instead try the approach of, “Of course you got a A because your study so much harder than other people!” Or “of course your hit the ball well because you practice and work at it longer than most people.”

Also, when they do something and it’s a minor hurt doing whatever, respond with’ “it’s a good thing you’re tough! That would have had other kids whining in the emergency room but not you!”

Set the expectations of working hard for good results, not a gift they are lucky to have and a sense of being resilient.

It pays off forever.

quote:

---

dealing with a kid and discouragement

---

Kids tend to focus more on their shortcomings than on their achievements. It’s a confidence thing. I’ve coached kids and have seen many - even the best athletes at a young age - that go into a downward spiral if they make a mistake and start to play too tight, leading to more mistakes. It’s like their whole world is coming unraveled.

It is important to teach them that everyone, and I mean everyone, fails and has disappointments from time to time. What separates successful athletes (and people) from the rest is how they handle their mistakes, fight through them, and learn from them.

I tell my kids, if you make a bad play, flush it and try to make up for it on the next one. If you make a good play, build on it during the next play. You may not play a perfect game, but you’re much more likely to play a great game if you play with perfect effort.

Pick a success story from his favorite sport or athlete and use it as an illustration. My kid loves basketball. When he used to get down on himself for missing a big shot, I’d remind him that the best shooters in the NBA miss 6 out of 10 threes. Nobody ever remembers the missed shot that could have won the game. But they sure remember the made ones. But there’s a lot more misses than makes even at the highest levels of competition. Maybe your kid loves football, give him examples of a QB throwing a huge pick but then rallying back to overcome it. Or a safety getting burned only to make a TD saving play or turnover later in the game.

Kids just don’t think like that and need to be taught to.

At the end of the day, nobody should know your kid better than you do. You just have to find a way to explain that it won’t be easy, and it shouldn’t be easy. Competition is supposed to challenge us and bring out the best in us. That’s why we do it. That’s the whole point of it.

quote:

---

let him get his arse kicked a couple times

---

A lot of the podcasters I listen to rave about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for this reason. It builds character and humbles its students.