Think we need a joke thread.

Knock knock

Who’s there

Coronavirus

A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "Why?" Doctor said, "You have a cataract." Chinaman says, "No, I have a Rincoln Continental.

-Uncle Junior

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-skA4GhVX7k --Norm Macdonald set on Coronavirus

Quite funny!

I’m wondering did the tornado in Nashville get the Chrisley house? And more importantly this fricking dbag?

A teachers says to her class, the word of the day is “definitely”, who can use it in a sentence?

Little Susie in the front raises her hand and says, “The sky is definitely blue” and the teacher responds, “Well, Susie, what about rainy days and cloudy days? The sky, therefore, is not definitely blue.”

Little Randy raises his and says, “Grass is definitely green!” And the teacher responds. “Well, Randy, what about in the hot summer months when the grass turns brown and such? Grass is not definitely green.”

Little Johnny in the back raises his hand and asks the teacher, “Do farts have lumps?” And the teacher replies, “No? Whatever do you mean?” And little Johnny says, “Then I definitely shite my pants.”

Here's one of my old favorites:

A boy is out fishing with his grandpa. The grandpa pulls out a beer and takes a sip of it. The boy says "pawpaw, can I have a sip of that?" The grandpa asks him "is your dick long enough to touch your a-hole?" The boy says no, and the grandpa says "well then you can't have any."

After he finishes his beer the grandpa pulls out a cigarette and lights it. The boy asks "pawpaw, can I have a puff of that?" The grandpa asks "is your dick long enough to touch your a-hole?" The boy again says no, and the grandpa says "well then you can't have any."

After they're done fishing the boy and his grandpa pack up and go to the store for a lunch. While they're there, the two each get a scratch-off ticket. The grandpa scratches his off and it isn't a winner. The boy scratches his off and wins $1000! The grandpa says "you're going to share half of that with your pawpaw, right?" The boy says "is your dick long enough to touch your a-hole?" The grandpa, beaming, says "it sure is!" And the boy says "good, so you can go frick yourself."

Two guys are sitting in a bar. One guy asks his buddy, “so what did you get your wife for Valentines Day?”. He said, “I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes.”

“Well why did you buy her a ring and a Mercedes?”

“If she don’t like the ring, then she has the car. What did you get your wife?”

“ A pair of slippers and a dildo.”

“Why a pair of slippers and a dildo?”

“If she don’t like the slippers, then she can go frick herself.”

So, this dyslexic walks into a bra...

Good one.