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re: moving in prior to marriage

Posted on 2/6/20 at 1:12 pm to
Posted by Peazey
Metry
Member since Apr 2012
25418 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 1:12 pm to
quote:

1-2 years?! Thats insane unless there is an accidental pregnancy.


If you meet your spouse in your late 20's to early 30's there's a lot more time pressure to make a decision if you want to try to start a family while you are still relatively young and before it gets too late.
Posted by samson73103
Krypton
Member since Nov 2008
8262 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 1:29 pm to
Trashy no. immoral yes
Posted by I Bleed Garnet
Cullman, AL
Member since Jul 2011
54846 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 1:30 pm to
quote:

used to have space on my bathroom sink counter. Nowadays, not so much

Get a bigger bathroom sink.
Or have 2 sinks...
Posted by I Bleed Garnet
Cullman, AL
Member since Jul 2011
54846 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 1:31 pm to
quote:

We started dating junior year of high school so it was never even a thought until we finished up college



Damn
Posted by MusclesofBrussels
Member since Dec 2015
4574 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 1:35 pm to
Threads like this are a good reminder how dimwitted and backwoods most people on this site are.
Posted by Boo Krewe
Member since Apr 2015
9810 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 1:52 pm to
For a mid 20s virgin, is it too late to meet a hot , career minded nice girl? Who's not crazy . If I ever get my shite together
Posted by bayoumuscle21
St. George
Member since Jan 2012
4646 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 2:00 pm to
quote:

That being said, if you have to "test" living together to make sure the marriage will work you are not with the right person. If you are going to commit to a life long marriage you know. If you have to test it out you will end up divorced at some point


People are going to downvote you, but this is more true than most would admit.
Posted by SCgamecock2988
Columbia, SC
Member since Oct 2015
14093 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 2:23 pm to
Here we are on page 7 and I'm having to make this post:

Pics?
Posted by SCgamecock2988
Columbia, SC
Member since Oct 2015
14093 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 2:24 pm to
quote:

That being said, if you have to "test" living together to make sure the marriage will work you are not with the right person. If you are going to commit to a life long marriage you know. If you have to test it out you will end up divorced at some point


What about people that have lived together at some point (let's say minimum 1 year) and broke up, and then got back together? Those are always doomed to fail right? Never engaged/married.
Posted by redneck
Los Suenos, Costa Rica
Member since Dec 2003
53641 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 2:43 pm to
quote:

What about people that have lived together at some point (let's say minimum 1 year) and broke up, and then got back together? Those are always doomed to fail right? Never engaged/married


I'm no Dr.Phil but if there is a reason you broke up once there will be many reasons in the future to break up again. Move on
Posted by CatsGoneWild
Pigeon forge, Tennessee
Member since Jan 2008
13446 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 2:53 pm to
quote:

Is it trashy to move in with your gf/bf prior to marriage

Yes. This topic gets brought up quite a bit on here
Posted by StupidBinder
Jawja
Member since Oct 2017
6392 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 3:00 pm to
quote:

Like a test drive


Here’s the thing, and I know most people will disagree. When you test drive a car, you’re looking for deal breakers that will cause you to decide against the car.

That’s not what’s really going on when you cohabitate. You already know if there are deal breakers just from having dated. The question that most people are trying to answer is, “how easy will it be to integrate my entire life with this person before I commit”.

The problem with this is that it is actually beneficial to learn how to do this integration upfront because you’ll basically be doing it to some degree for your entire marriage. The two of you will constantly change and constantly have to adjust to each other. When you cohabitate as a “test drive”, you’re essentially looking for a situation that will require the least amount of sacrifice and the fewest accommodations. IMO, it’s not a good way to approach marriage.

Also, even if you deem this person worthy of marriage today (based on how easy they are to live with), you have no idea what living with this person is going to be like in 10 years. Or 20. It’s just not a very useful arrangement IMO if the ultimate goal is a life-long marriage.
This post was edited on 2/6/20 at 3:02 pm
Posted by TheDeathValley
New Orleans, LA
Member since Sep 2010
17253 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 3:27 pm to
quote:

Try again bucko. Study after study over the years has concluded that cohabitation leads to higher divorce rates and newer studies show at best it makes no difference.



I never read articles or researched it, but I could pretty much tell what all of my wife's nuisances after a year.
Posted by Suntiger
BR or somewhere else
Member since Feb 2007
33038 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 4:07 pm to
quote:

That’s not what’s really going on when you cohabitate. You already know if there are deal breakers just from having dated. The question that most people are trying to answer is, “how easy will it be to integrate my entire life with this person before I commit”.


You learn a lot more about a person when you live with them as opposed to dating.

quote:

Also, even if you deem this person worthy of marriage today (based on how easy they are to live with), you have no idea what living with this person is going to be like in 10 years. Or 20.


I’ll agree with that. It may not tell you who that person will be in 10 or 20 years, but there is some intimate details you learn about a person when you live with them as opposed to dating.


quote:

Try again bucko. Study after study over the years has concluded that cohabitation leads to higher divorce rates and newer studies show at best it makes no difference.


It looks like this was the case leading up to the 90s and 2000s, but the trend may be starting to reverse. Not because of anything to do with cohabitation, but mostly because of age. Studies are showing that people who get married after age 23 have a higher rate of not getting a divorce. Since people are waiting longer to get married, the old trend is begging to shift. Also, education and economics play a big part as well.

TIME
Atlantic
Posted by deaux
Member since Oct 2018
20267 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 4:16 pm to
quote:

And prepare to ensure the toilet seat is down and clear of pube hair.


You wouldn’t do this anyway? That’s disgusting
Posted by Norbert
Member since Oct 2018
3228 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 4:25 pm to
Lolz at the parents who make their adult children live separately from their significant others.

They're boning. You may think you're stopping the boning, but you're probably making them bone more.

And then on top of that you are pressuring them to get married just so that they no longer have to bone in secret.
Posted by GeorgePaton
God's Country
Member since May 2017
4495 posts
Posted on 2/6/20 at 4:29 pm to
Yes
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