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Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
Posted on 2/19/18 at 7:45 am
Posted on 2/19/18 at 7:45 am
![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/68/Steven_Wright_1994.jpg/220px-Steven_Wright_1994.jpg)
HEY STEVEN GET OFF YOUR CABOOSE AND BACK ON TRACK!
A guy with a stutter died in prison before he could finish his sentence.
This post was edited on 2/19/18 at 7:47 am
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:04 am to theunknownknight
A lot of stand up comedians have stopped performing because of the PC Climate and offending somebody ![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/icons/casty.gif)
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/icons/casty.gif)
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:06 am to theunknownknight
I liked him as “the guy on the couch” in Half Baked
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:11 am to theunknownknight
"There is no gravity. the Earth sucks."
"It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it."
"It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it."
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:14 am to theunknownknight
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:15 am to theunknownknight
what's the speed of dark
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:17 am to theunknownknight
"Every where is walking distance if you have the time."
One of my favorites things of his is his DJ voice overs sprinkled throughout Reservoir Dogs.![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/IconLOL.gif)
One of my favorites things of his is his DJ voice overs sprinkled throughout Reservoir Dogs.
![](https://images.tigerdroppings.com/Images/Icons/IconLOL.gif)
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:18 am to theunknownknight
No, the capital of Canada is Ottawa.
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTU5NjA1NzkyNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTE2NjAzNA@@._V1_.jpg)
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTU5NjA1NzkyNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTE2NjAzNA@@._V1_.jpg)
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:19 am to theunknownknight
When I was a baby, I kept a diary.
Recently, I was rereading it.
It said, "Day 1 -- Still tired from the move.
Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot."
Recently, I was rereading it.
It said, "Day 1 -- Still tired from the move.
Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot."
This post was edited on 2/19/18 at 8:20 am
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:20 am to TulaneFan
Scarface: "Hey, The Guy, did you kill my dog?
The Guy: *sleepily waves hand*
Scarface: "Yo, I believe him B"
The Guy: *sleepily waves hand*
Scarface: "Yo, I believe him B"
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:20 am to soccerfüt
Can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:29 am to theunknownknight
quote:Definitely on board with this.
Open Letter to Steven Wright: Come out of retirement!
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:31 am to theunknownknight
His timing was always so good.
"When I was a little kid we had a sand box.
It was a quicksand box.
I was an only child...
(pause...)
Eventually."
"When I was a little kid we had a sand box.
It was a quicksand box.
I was an only child...
(pause...)
Eventually."
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:31 am to theunknownknight
What happens if you are traveling at the speed of light and you turn the lights on?
Posted on 2/19/18 at 8:41 am to theunknownknight
“Went to the store and bought some powdered water....didn’t know what to add”
Posted on 2/19/18 at 9:01 am to theunknownknight
I have always thought of him as the Gary Larson (Far Side) of stand up comedians.
Posted on 2/19/18 at 9:07 am to theunknownknight
I've been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight...
....the people who live above me are furious.
....the people who live above me are furious.
Posted on 2/19/18 at 9:08 am to udtiger
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
Posted on 2/19/18 at 9:15 am to theunknownknight
I bought some batteries, they weren't included...so I had to buy them again...
Posted on 2/19/18 at 9:17 am to theunknownknight
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Steven Wright
Steven Wright
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