re: Is it possible for any relationship to stay intact after cheating?

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could get over cheating as long as we're not married with children.

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what would even be the point of that? Why bother.

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would be some leveling of the playing field and time apart to officially reset.

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women .... Such vindictive whores...

it's not about being vindictive. it's almost like you break up, date other people, and then get back together to find that you appreciate each other more than you did before. i don't know. i might be idealistic.

Definitely depends on the couple....how long have they been married, was it a one night stand or a 2 year long affair (ie. was it just physical and sexual or did it involve emotional attachment and love), are kids involved in the relationship, is it a repeated issue, how strong and fullfilling is the relationship in general and it other areas, are both spouses putting in the work to continue to grow a relationship, etc.

Love is forgiving but it can't be constantly forgiving for the same mistake over and over. Trust will be hard to earn back no matter what but it needs to happen if they stay together. People aren't perfect, mistakes can happen to anyone under the right (or wrong) circumstances.

I work with a woman who cheated on her husband and he cheated on her. I'm not sure of who did it first but after a few months' separation they got back together and have been fairly happy the last couple of years per our conversations.

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Love is forgiving but it can't be constantly forgiving for the same mistake over and over. Trust will be hard to earn back no matter what but it needs to happen if they stay together. People aren't perfect, mistakes can happen to anyone under the right (or wrong) circumstances.

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well spoken

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to a marriage counselor bro. I realized through the help of a counselor that it was actually my fault and that I wasn't appreciative enough and made her feel inadequate and that I was working too much

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She's fricking the counselor.

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Oh, I think there are different types of affairs. I was just lol'ing at the fact that you seem to differentiate in the abilities of men and women when engaging in affairs. I think you generalize all things man and woman based solely on your experience. And then you project that on the rest of the world as reality. While it was your reality, I don't think you understand that there are other realities despite your experience.

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I think all of this is pretty spot on. I’m probably able to overlook “bad behaviour” in men (and women too, when it benefits me) but have this super judgemental outlook as well.

Understanding the nuances of human behaviour also means accepting there are outliers.

And now that I think about it, I take it back.

I guess it’s perfectly possible for a woman to have a physical fling with a man and still go back to having a relatively stable relationship with her husband. But something was missing if that happened in the first place.

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But you're limiting yourself to an empty world of mistrust and shallow relationships, when you could instead deal with your past and learn how to love and trust again.

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How?

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I just hate to see you so jaded against the female sex.

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Eh, I prefer it to being naive and foolish enough not to see the signs.

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How?

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I think deep down, you want to love and be loved again. But you don't trust, so you settle for purely sex and avoid all feelings.

Look, that's a great gig for some. But I personally think you want to love, but your mistrust will not allow it, so you settle for fun, but empty sex, when what you really want is someone to love you again.

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Eh, I prefer it to being naive and foolish enough not to see the signs.

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You can not be naive and foolish, and still have a relationship with love, if you could ever find a way to not believe all women will eventually cheat on you. There are decent women out there. They're not ALL cheating whores. That's all I'm saying.

But like I said, I get why you feel like you feel.

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I think deep down, you want to love and be loved again. But you don't trust, so you settle for purely sex and avoid all feelings.

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Not true. My last relationship, that I just recently got out of, was one of mutual love and trust. It was lovely. Still is.

But it got too close. I started to feel trapped and we started to have less good times.

So I left. And things got better once I wasn’t feeling so trapped.

I just don’t know if i’M very good at committed relationships anymore