GoT S8 End-Game Predictions

Disappointment

Sam is the only one left telling the story to a rock with Jon's face painted on it a la Tom Hanks and Wilson in Castaway.

The Golden Company turns on Cersei once they see the true enemy. She gets turned into ash by Tyrion (or Jon) riding Rhaegal. OR Arya kills her wearing Qyburn's face. Sandor wins Cleganebowl by setting Gregor on fire. Bronn takes out Ice-Viserion with an Obsidian scorpion bolt. Theon saves Asha and kills Euron, but dies a hero in the process. Tormund marries Brienne. Jaime sacrifices himself saving Daenerys. Jon kills the Night King in single combat, destroying 100,000 wights and winning the battle for the dawn.

I put my crackpot game ending theory in the episode thread, but here it is (somewhat embellished):

Arya takes out the Night King with the Valyrian steel dagger by somehow wearing a wight's face and getting close to him. All the wights collapse.

All the characters with a Valyrian steel sword create a distraction or opening for Arya by killing White Walkers. Jorah has Longclaw as Jon, on Rhaegal and Danny on Drogon provide air cover. Maybe the Hound wields Heartsbane Lots of people go out heroes.

Oh, and for good measure, the final scene is that the eyes of Gilly's kid (the last male child of Craster)turn blue.

Close to black.

Little Finger returns as a Wight and whispers to the Night King that the White Walker on horseback is plotting to take his place. Hilarity ensues as the two leaders of the White Walkers chase each other around to the tune of the Benny Hill theme.

John Snow then stabs them both with Theon's prosthetic penis, which is made of Dragon Glass.

The night king rules Westeros. Or at least that's how it should end

Jon Snow claims to have died as Aegon Targ, resurrected as Jon Snow so he can keep his name.

Cedes throne to Dany as he does not want to sit on the Iron Throne

Ironically, Jon and Dany's incestual kid becomes the ruler after Dany, just like the old targs did it

HBO decides that the show is still too high-brow and difficult to follow. They enlist Ratner and Bay and a focus group from the Appalachia mountains to finish the final season. There's lots of explosions and tits and idiots get excited.



-fin

Euron kills Dany and rapes her corpse in front of Jon. Jon kills Euron, the end.

The NK raises Ned Stark, he reclaims Winterfel and then goes south and kills Cersei Laugh all you want, it's fantasy and no less plausible than the other theories being proposed here.