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re: Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship
Posted on 6/7/17 at 9:58 am to GumboPot
Posted on 6/7/17 at 9:58 am to GumboPot
If I identified as a 6 year old I wouldn't be messing with tee ball. I'd join the 6 year old basketball league. The goals are 6 feet off the ground. Zach would have 40 dunks and 60 blocked shots a game.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 10:44 am to i am dan
To all those asking if this is real... It literally says attached the bottom of the page
"The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire."
"The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire."
Posted on 6/7/17 at 10:48 am to GumboPot
Its refreshing to see right-wing comedy which is actually funny.
I lol'd.
I lol'd.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 11:30 am to Snipe
quote:"you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart"
all their you can be whatever you want to be bullshite.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 12:11 pm to GumboPot
Just imagine if this Man Identifying as a 6 year old were a Homosexual Muslim, too. That's the sort of combination that could make this joke a reality.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 12:13 pm to i am dan
quote:
Is this real?
Parody
But solid.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 12:18 pm to GeeOH
quote:
I really don't understand why the parents of the other children let them go onto the field to "compete.
This particular situation is absolutely life threatening to the other kids.
How does one "identify as a 6 yr old? If they were actually at a 6 yr old level, how would they tell you that, specifically? And if they are able to articulate that and be specific, then their level of thinking is above that age.
Until others stand up and say no, it will.go on. You have yo make it where it is effecting the majority of the kids, ie...games cancelled because of forfeits, before the assclown stop this shite.
These are all great questions. I'm sure other news sources will pick up on this story soon and dig into just how the hell this was allowed to happen. They are lucky a child wasn't hurt or even killed on the field. I think law enforcement is actually involved so maybe that's why we don't have more information yet. Stay tuned though - this story is really going to blow up.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 12:54 pm to chalmetteowl
quote:
"you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart"
The "World" doesn't have a heart, It's just got a bunch of stupid people with shite for common sense.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 4:25 pm to elposter
quote:
These are all great questions. I'm sure other news sources will pick up on this story soon and dig into just how the hell this was allowed to happen. They are lucky a child wasn't hurt or even killed on the field. I think law enforcement is actually involved so maybe that's why we don't have more information yet. Stay tuned though - this story is really going to blow up.
Not sure if serious.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 9:09 pm to GumboPot
Nate Ripkey is such a brave and courageous person
He can't wait until football season.
He can't wait until football season.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 9:14 pm to GumboPot
quote:
AUBURN, CA—Local 36-year-old man Nate Ripley, who identifies as a six-year-old, “absolutely crushed” a game-winning homer at a local tee-ball game and won the championship for his team Monday evening, reports confirmed.
Ripley reportedly walked up to the plate in the bottom of the 6th, pointed his bat toward the left-field wall looming 130 feet in the distance, and let her rip, sending the ball rocketing over the fence and into a parking lot as the fans cheered and his coach yelled out, “Attaboy, Nate! Good job, bud!”
His team, the Lil’ Padres, attempted to hoist him up on their shoulders in celebration of their great victory over the favored Tiny Tigers, but were unable to pick up the large 230-pound man.
Ripley’s feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.
“I’m just proud to be here with my team. It’s all for the love of the game,” an emotional Ripley told reporters while enjoying an orange slice and juice box after the championship. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.”
So at age 58 there's a chance I could go back and relive my grade school's 3rd grade dodge ball tourney, when I dropped the ball and cost my team the championship.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 9:18 pm to Bass Tiger
Yep
I'm 34 and going back to high school to be the star quarterback
I'm 34 and going back to high school to be the star quarterback
Posted on 6/7/17 at 9:19 pm to lsucoonass
I use to sling the football a quarter mile.
If coach ever put me in I could have won state
If coach ever put me in I could have won state
This post was edited on 6/7/17 at 9:23 pm
Posted on 6/7/17 at 9:28 pm to GumboPot
The writers for Benchwarmers called something similar years ago.
This post was edited on 6/7/17 at 9:28 pm
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