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Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:01 am
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:01 am
LINK
quote:
AUBURN, CA—Local 36-year-old man Nate Ripley, who identifies as a six-year-old, “absolutely crushed” a game-winning homer at a local tee-ball game and won the championship for his team Monday evening, reports confirmed.
Ripley reportedly walked up to the plate in the bottom of the 6th, pointed his bat toward the left-field wall looming 130 feet in the distance, and let her rip, sending the ball rocketing over the fence and into a parking lot as the fans cheered and his coach yelled out, “Attaboy, Nate! Good job, bud!”
His team, the Lil’ Padres, attempted to hoist him up on their shoulders in celebration of their great victory over the favored Tiny Tigers, but were unable to pick up the large 230-pound man.
Ripley’s feat comes at the end of a momentous tee-ball season, in which the self-identified six-year-old absolutely shattered every record set prior to that point. With a 1.000 batting average, 52 home runs, and an incredible showing at first base, second base, shortstop, third base, and pitcher, the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.
“I’m just proud to be here with my team. It’s all for the love of the game,” an emotional Ripley told reporters while enjoying an orange slice and juice box after the championship. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.”
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:02 am to GumboPot
That's it. We're fricked as a society.
We can't even have fricking T-ball anymore.
We can't even have fricking T-ball anymore.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:02 am to GumboPot
Writer must be from theonion...
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:03 am to GumboPot
The Babylon Bee is a similar site to the Onion. It usually centers around Christian culture.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:04 am to i am dan
quote:
Is this real?
The man identifying as a 6 year old batted a 1000 for the season. Of course it's real.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:05 am to GumboPot
and didnt committ a single era while playing every position from catcher to the outfield
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:07 am to GumboPot
quote:
the man is being called an inspiration to other six-year-olds everywhere.
Nice satire.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:07 am to lsucoonass
What made me lol the most was this:
quote:
while enjoying an orange slice and juice box after the championship
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:07 am to i am dan
quote:
Is this real?
At this point just the fact that someone has to ask if this kind of nonsense is real should scare the frick out of people.
I can't be the only father who would take to fists to prevent a grown man from ruining his child's sports program like this.........
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:08 am to GumboPot
frick yesss if this was real
all these people who asked for this shite are about to get it thrown right back in their face
all these people who asked for this shite are about to get it thrown right back in their face
This post was edited on 6/7/17 at 8:10 am
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:17 am to i am dan
The Babylon Bee: The Onion for people who aren't good at spotting this stuff.
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:19 am to GumboPot
Babylon Bee is a great Christian satire site.
"Southern Baptists vote to affirm inerrancy of second amendment"
"Southern Baptists vote to affirm inerrancy of second amendment"
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:23 am to FooManChoo
Excellent, in-touch satire.
"Serial killer wants people to know murdering is only 3% of what he does "
"Serial killer wants people to know murdering is only 3% of what he does "
Posted on 6/7/17 at 8:27 am to the808bass
quote:
"Serial killer wants people to know murdering is only 3% of what he does "
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