re: I Come to the OT for some help today.

Serious answer...become a big brother or do charity work. It will make you feel good about yourself, occupy your time/mind and gives back to the community. Get counseling as well.

It will get better. It'll get worse before it gets better but it'll get better. Chin up.

I know what you're feeling man. I still hate those nights, and sometimes I can't sleep. I just wanted to go to work and go home. But it wasn't until I started getting out that I got better. I suffered severe depression. I wouldn't even answer when my family called me. Dealing with that was and still is hard. And the last thing you want to hear is, "it'll get better." But it will. Little by little, it will.

I've always enjoyed writing or reading, so that's what I got back to. Those nights when I can't sleep, I pick up my laptop or notebook and just write. I also always wanted to learn how to play guitar, so I started watching YouTube videos and taught myself. I'm a shy person, so going and doing things by myself was also very hard. But now I enjoy going to a movie or to the beach by myself. Then you start to realize life can still be pretty awesome.

I went through a divorce 15 years ago due to the ex getting herself addicted to meth and refusing help. Not sure if you have children, but that is what got me through it. I retained full custody for obvious reasons, and the divorce itself only affected me to the extent that it affected my kids. It really didn't matter what was done to me, only what was done to them. I have long ago forgiven her for what she did as it pertained to me, but I am still somewhat bitter about what she did to our children. Maybe that is wrong of me, but it is just hard to let that go. On the upside, both of my boys are grown now, and are fine young men. She still really hasn't gotten her act together and has not tried to contact them since, but they have adjusted really well.

As I say, my focus was my kids, but if you don't have any or don't have custody, my advice would be to find something you are passionate about. Focus on doing things that bring you joy. Read a lot, travel as much as you can, enjoy some time for yourself. Make a list of things you want to do or places you want to go, and work towards that end. Best of luck to you.

It will get better and you should find a support group (not the OT) or a therapist.

here is what I did

Gym
drink like cooter brown
buy a dog
buy a drumset
slay a lot of vagina (not newly divorced neighbor though)

so sorry for what you are going through, it does suck.

you are doing all of the right things and have gotten some good advice here, also some really interesting "wisdom"

--continue to work out and ramp it up.
--join a rec sports league/team that practices at night, plays on the weekends-basketball, flag football, soccer, tennis, kickball whatever. it's a workout, will get you out of the house and you will meet new people
--get up a couple of hours earlier than your normal so it will be easier to sleep at night.
--find a support group that meets at night.
--reading books is a great, healthy way to distract yourself. social media not so much.
--get out of town on the weekends, if possible plan so you do not get back home until monday morning just in time to get to work. sunday nights are the worst when you are alone and hurting.
--travel to places you have never been, it is a great way to get a fresh perspective.
--getting a pet is a good idea if you have the time to care for it and space.
--some people find journaling/writing to help (just imagining all of the "dear diary" comments on this thread if anyone actually reads all of this
--do not make any major decisions about moving away at this point, but do spend some time researching other "dream" places to live. maybe plan a visit.
--volunteer for a cause that you believe in. one of the perks of helping others is that it will help you.
--learn something new--take a class, find a new hobby.
--always, always friends/family. they will help and one day they will have problems and you can pay back the time they spent with you now and with greater understanding and empathy.

and it WILL get better with time. the crap part is that you are going to feel bad and hurt but you will and can get through that. sometimes you just have to feel all of the pain to start healing.

best of luck, you are going to be OK! keep us updated

I'm going through a similar situation. You're not alone brother.

Hang in there OP Ive been there and I survived

if you need someone to talk to, I'll make myself available