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1
Posted on 5/23/17 at 11:12 pm to RLDSC FAN
Hire a PI to follow her for a few days. I can almost guarantee you that she's playing around with some other dude. If she didn't think she had somewhere to go or someone to run to, she wouldn't be leaving. Married life, with kids, is very stressful. Most of the fun that you guys had earlier in the relationship is gone, simply because there isn't enough time or money. Some guy probably gave her a compliment, and eventually they exchanged numbers, and now they're hanging out on the regular. Most likely a guy from her workplace. There are no arguments about money, no dirty house to clean, no kids to look after when she's with him. It reminds her of when you guys were dating. Some people just aren't cut out for the grown up life. Have a PI investigate and maybe you can prove infidelity. If that doesn't work, plant a couple pounds of meth in her car or house then call the cops on her. Good luck to you bud. It'll all work out
This post was edited on 5/23/17 at 11:16 pm
Posted on 5/23/17 at 11:14 pm to teke184
Wish there was a way y'all could work this out. Six years into my 20 + year marriage; I packed up my son and left my husband. I thank God every single day that we worked it out. 2 twin daughters later, we're still going strong.
About 1/2 of our friends are divorced (we're late 40's early 50's) and only one of those couples is better off. Divorce sucks.
About 1/2 of our friends are divorced (we're late 40's early 50's) and only one of those couples is better off. Divorce sucks.
Posted on 5/24/17 at 12:11 am to RLDSC FAN
Cal child support calculator
A minimum $800 per month using the incomes you provided. That assumes the child lives with you 30% of the time. That doesn't include health insurance costs, other income, etc.
There are some spousal support calculators online as well.
Prepare thy anus.
A minimum $800 per month using the incomes you provided. That assumes the child lives with you 30% of the time. That doesn't include health insurance costs, other income, etc.
There are some spousal support calculators online as well.
Prepare thy anus.
Posted on 5/24/17 at 12:23 am to RLDSC FAN
You now make 50k and she makes 98k
Posted on 5/24/17 at 1:03 am to RLDSC FAN
she is cheating on you
her new man and her friends have it all lined up to take you for every possible penny
your 11 year old has already met his future step dad
she will get an aggressive attorney and go for the throat - custody, alimony, child support...the works
get good, solid legal counsel now and don't worry about the cost....think of it as an investment...when legal counsel says jump, you ask how high and the jump....don't second guess them
dating will be ok - may take a few times out of the chute but you will get the hang of it
don't talk trash about your ex to anyone - delete social media - it will only cause problems down the road
good luck
her new man and her friends have it all lined up to take you for every possible penny
your 11 year old has already met his future step dad
she will get an aggressive attorney and go for the throat - custody, alimony, child support...the works
get good, solid legal counsel now and don't worry about the cost....think of it as an investment...when legal counsel says jump, you ask how high and the jump....don't second guess them
dating will be ok - may take a few times out of the chute but you will get the hang of it
don't talk trash about your ex to anyone - delete social media - it will only cause problems down the road
good luck
Posted on 5/24/17 at 1:12 am to pwejr88
quote:
Don't split up.
Make it work.
Church, prayer, a pastor, counseling, weekend getaway, draw up a dating each other contract, whatever you have to do.
You made a promise and vow to each other.
I wish that meant more these days.
Or just don't make the terrible decision that is marriage in the first place
Posted on 5/24/17 at 1:30 am to HippieTiger
to take out your aggression...
Posted on 5/24/17 at 1:42 am to RLDSC FAN
quote:
Wife and I are splitting up. I'm 38, make a little over 100K a year. She made 48K last year. We have an 11 year old. What am I looking at gents? Any advice/encouragement would be much appreciated.
as someone who lived through a divorce as a child... just don't be some dead beat dad.
What I'd really like to do is meet you at a Sonic and fight.
but best of luck to you anyway.
Posted on 5/24/17 at 6:00 am to RLDSC FAN
Sorry to hear about your situation, RLDSC. Go into this with a plan. Get a reputable lawyer. Your demographic means that a lot of people in your peer group have gone through divorce, so ask around about what worked for them.
1. Good Lawyer
2. Emotional and Physical Health, i.e. yours, look after it. Gym, Church (or if not religious, nature, mountains, beach, somewhere where you can be alone with your thoughts and just process stuff. You need some time.)
3. Work. Although there's a shock phase in which initially you might want to take some time off, you will find as you go through the process that productivity will actually get better and you'll get a lot of stuff done.
4. Family and Friends. You've gotta be there for your 11 year old. I'm sure you will be. This is where people that care about you need to be there for you, too.
5. Social Media. Blackout time. Can be difficult in today's world but this will only cause you grief. Limit social interactions to the real world for a while. It might even be kind of refreshing.
6. Dating. Put this off until you figure out who you are as a single person. If you need to "get some" and find a like minded person who wants no strings, I totally get it, but as far as jumping into or pursuing new relationships, I'd wait.
TL;DR Lawyer up, Family Up, Social Media Blackout, Wait to Date. Godspeed, bro.
1. Good Lawyer
2. Emotional and Physical Health, i.e. yours, look after it. Gym, Church (or if not religious, nature, mountains, beach, somewhere where you can be alone with your thoughts and just process stuff. You need some time.)
3. Work. Although there's a shock phase in which initially you might want to take some time off, you will find as you go through the process that productivity will actually get better and you'll get a lot of stuff done.
4. Family and Friends. You've gotta be there for your 11 year old. I'm sure you will be. This is where people that care about you need to be there for you, too.
5. Social Media. Blackout time. Can be difficult in today's world but this will only cause you grief. Limit social interactions to the real world for a while. It might even be kind of refreshing.
6. Dating. Put this off until you figure out who you are as a single person. If you need to "get some" and find a like minded person who wants no strings, I totally get it, but as far as jumping into or pursuing new relationships, I'd wait.
TL;DR Lawyer up, Family Up, Social Media Blackout, Wait to Date. Godspeed, bro.
Posted on 5/24/17 at 6:27 am to RLDSC FAN
quote:
Wife and I are splitting up. I'm 38, make a little over 100K a year. She made 48K last year. We have an 11 year old. What am I looking at gents? Any advice/encouragement would be much appreciated.
Depends. My wife got caught cheating and I took her to the fricking cleaners. House, car, dog, and money from her retirement for life.
Posted on 5/24/17 at 6:27 am to loweralabamatrojan
Sorry dude, I got divorced in San Diego County in 2011. I was working in Afghanistan making 300k, wife was making 125k back home in Cali. I got absolutely screwed. I was paying over 3k a month for a couple of years after I was no longer making 300k. She was ruthless, California gave her everything, even mention the words family neglect because I had been working overseas..... She even pulled over 50k out of an account I had and got away with it. Since 2011 I have paid her almost $170k in cs and spousal support (plus the 50k she stole, plus half of assets), and I am no baller for sure.... Luckily my new wife has a great income because without her I am poor as a church mouse until 2023.
Posted on 5/24/17 at 6:32 am to birdieman
This thread is making me terrified to ever get married.
This post was edited on 5/24/17 at 8:13 am
Posted on 5/24/17 at 6:35 am to Funky Tide 8
quote:
This thread is making me terrified to get ever get married.
I recommend not doing it. After the lengths and deceit my ex did, there is no way can trust someone like that again.
Posted on 5/24/17 at 6:35 am to RLDSC FAN
Sex of 11 yr old? If male ask for custody.
Posted on 5/24/17 at 6:41 am to Breesus
The more I think about this thread and the actual process of divorce when you have kids and the way the legal system slants, the more I'm sure of that. Either I'll kill her or myself or both.
Posted on 5/24/17 at 6:48 am to Funky Tide 8
quote:
This thread is making me terrified to get ever get married.
You just better be sure she's "the one" as opposed to "the one who's gonna walk away with 80% of your earnings".
Posted on 5/24/17 at 6:50 am to RLDSC FAN
quote:
Wife and I are splitting up. I'm 38, make a little over 100K a year. She made 48K last year. We have an 11 year old. What am I looking at gents? Any advice/encouragement would be much appreciated.
A long 7 years unless everything can be settled out of court. If you go to court you'll actually be making 60K when they are done with you.
Posted on 5/24/17 at 6:55 am to YouAre8Up
You need to be the best father possible and do everything you can to get shared custody (50/50).
This is what's best for your son and your pocketbook!
This is what's best for your son and your pocketbook!
Posted on 5/24/17 at 6:56 am to jeff5891
This holds no merrit when it comes to child support! All this will do is cut the amount of time the divorce takes.
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