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Message
re: Favorite obscure office quotes
Posted on 12/14/16 at 9:20 am to Tigerfan56
Posted on 12/14/16 at 9:20 am to Tigerfan56
quote:
As I watched Pam's big strong hand coming toward my face I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. And guess what? I have four kids. And I have a hover car and a hover house. And my wife is a runner and it shows. And Pam and Jim are my best friends and our kids play together. And... I'm happy and I'm rich and I never die. That doesn't sound like much, but it's enough for me.
0
Posted on 12/14/16 at 9:25 am to TeddyPadillac
Posted on 12/14/16 at 10:22 am to Tigerfan56
Posted on 12/14/16 at 10:27 am to Loungefly85
quote:
helping clean out Michael's car
-Want me to throw this drink out?
What flavor is it?
-Blue
That's not a flavor
-Blue blast
Oh blue blast! Yeah keep it.
The post above made me think of that one. My submission, from dwight
'I can raise and lower my blood pressure on command'
-Why would you want to raise your blood pressure?
'...so I can lower it'
Posted on 12/14/16 at 10:53 am to Bluefin
quote:every Wednesday I'm supposed to do a spot check at the paper factory and of course the one year I blow it off, this happens
Creed's random quotes always crack me up.
Posted on 12/14/16 at 11:00 am to Pilot Tiger
At the start of the Fun Run when Dwight shoots his gun in the air
"Is that a real gun?"
Dwight: "Its a real race"
"Is that a real gun?"
Dwight: "Its a real race"
Posted on 12/14/16 at 11:02 am to Tigerfan56
I am busting out laughing at my desk at work.
This show is getting rewatched.
This show is getting rewatched.
Posted on 12/14/16 at 11:08 am to TheCaterpillar
My all time favorite is
"Do you Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration, take this woman to be your wife?"
Also, Oscar to Michael "Michael why dont you just have me ride in on a donkey?"
"Ah, yes, a Burro!"
"Do you Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration, take this woman to be your wife?"
Also, Oscar to Michael "Michael why dont you just have me ride in on a donkey?"
"Ah, yes, a Burro!"
This post was edited on 12/14/16 at 11:16 am
Posted on 12/14/16 at 11:12 am to REG861
Dwight during his salesman of the year award speech.
"Blood alone moves the wheels of history"
"Blood alone moves the wheels of history"
Posted on 12/14/16 at 11:35 am to SDtiger16
Michael's philosophy
"Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what..."
"Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what..."
Posted on 12/14/16 at 12:31 pm to RonFNSwanson
Dwight: Today...smoking is gonna save lives.
Followed by one of the greatest scenes in the show's history. Fire Drill
Followed by one of the greatest scenes in the show's history. Fire Drill
Posted on 12/14/16 at 1:56 pm to LSUstudent2006
God what a great show.
The business school lecture.
The fun run for rabies.
Survivorman, wen he cuts off his pants legs then tapes them back on later.
The "apology" video in which he finishes with an ultimatum and Pam says it's his best apology video yet.
Rewatch starts today.
The business school lecture.
The fun run for rabies.
Survivorman, wen he cuts off his pants legs then tapes them back on later.
The "apology" video in which he finishes with an ultimatum and Pam says it's his best apology video yet.
Rewatch starts today.
Posted on 12/14/16 at 1:59 pm to biglego
quote:
The fun run for rabies
I'm petrified of nipple chafing. Once it starts it is a vicious circle. If you have sensitive nipples, they chafe, so they become more sensitive, so they chafe more. So... I take precautions.
Posted on 12/14/16 at 2:04 pm to biglego
Michael: "How can you eat like that??"
Dwight: "I'm ravenous after a night of love-making.."
Ryan: "You guys want to hear about Thailand?"
Michael/Pam: "Oh yeah."/"Sure."
Ryan: ".......it was indescribable.."
Also, I busted out laughing the first time I saw that party for Oscar and Ryan was putting the little ñ on the "n" on the Lemonade bottles and he looks at the camera like "I don't fricking know...". That shite cracked me up hard.
Dwight: "I'm ravenous after a night of love-making.."
Ryan: "You guys want to hear about Thailand?"
Michael/Pam: "Oh yeah."/"Sure."
Ryan: ".......it was indescribable.."
Also, I busted out laughing the first time I saw that party for Oscar and Ryan was putting the little ñ on the "n" on the Lemonade bottles and he looks at the camera like "I don't fricking know...". That shite cracked me up hard.
Posted on 12/14/16 at 2:49 pm to CocomoLSU
When Dwight is showing his friend some bug repellent:
Friend: "Homemade?"
Dwight: "Of course, you think the EPA would ever allow that much deet?"
Friend: "Homemade?"
Dwight: "Of course, you think the EPA would ever allow that much deet?"
Posted on 12/14/16 at 3:39 pm to Twenty 49
quote:
Oscar: The Prius is silent if he keeps it under five miles per hour.
He deserves the win.
Posted on 12/14/16 at 5:05 pm to VOLhalla
quote:
Dwight: I just want to say for the record, I did not kill anyone. Stanley was attacked by his own heart. And he should be released from the hospital and back in the office in a couple days.
Lawyer: Did you shout, "Fire!", causing a panic?
Dwight: Yes I shouted "fire!". I shouted many things! I also shouted instructions on how to get out of the building, so you can imagine my frustration as safety officer when nobody would heed of what-- heeded--
Michael: Hed. Hedded
Dwight: When no one hedded--
Michael: Take hedded of.
Dwight: N-no one would take hedded of my instructions.
Michael: Heed. Heed.
Dwight: So, you--
Michael: Take heed of.
Dwight: And, well, I don't see my co-workers--
Michael: Take heed of.
Dwight: Hee-heeding this right now.
Lawyer: Wh--what?
Michael: Okay. [walks to the window, sighs] This city. Dwight. We are not mad, we are just disappointed.
Posted on 12/14/16 at 5:07 pm to Weagle25
quote:
Kevin: [giving chest compressions to the practice dummy] I can't keep doing this forever.
CPR Trainer: It's been 20 seconds.
Kevin: Call it.
quote:
David Wallace: Could you tell me why you had to cut the face off the dummy?
Dwight: I didn't think it was very realistic in the movie and it turns out, it's pretty realistic.
This post was edited on 12/14/16 at 5:08 pm
Posted on 12/14/16 at 5:22 pm to Tigerfan56
Just got done knockin boots.
No, I ate a whole bag of sunflower seeds while you were sleeping.
Creed signing up for the over 85 division in the fun run.hahahah
For the cure
No, I ate a whole bag of sunflower seeds while you were sleeping.
Creed signing up for the over 85 division in the fun run.hahahah
For the cure
Posted on 12/14/16 at 6:00 pm to LasVegasTiger
When Dwight brings the goose
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