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Started By
Message
Need Help for an Alcoholic Family Member
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:04 am
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:04 am
We've tried everything. Total denial. He's almost died twice in the last two years due to sepsis. He drinks brandy every night to help him sleep. Are there any products out there that I can slip into his brandy bottle to make it taste terrible?
I hope I came to the right place. We don't want to lose him. He's been like a father to me for a long time. Thank you.
I hope I came to the right place. We don't want to lose him. He's been like a father to me for a long time. Thank you.
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:04 am to Dunder Mifflin
How much does he drink?
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:06 am to Cosmo
quote:
How much does he drink?
I am guessing a frick ton if he has had sepsis twice.
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:06 am to Dunder Mifflin
quote:Wtf?
Are there any products out there that I can slip into his brandy bottle to make it taste terrible?
If he doesn't want better for himself, it'll be hard to do anything. Some people never see the light and end up dying. I hope that is not the case for your family member.
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:06 am to Dunder Mifflin
quote:
Are there any products out there that I can slip into his brandy bottle to make it taste terrible?
Taste xoesnt matter to an alcoholic
<----- he knows
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:06 am to Dunder Mifflin
quote:
I hope I came to the right place.
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:06 am to Dunder Mifflin
You cannot help somebody who does not want help. I speak from terrible experience.
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:07 am to Dunder Mifflin
Kids and family worked for us. I had a family member drive drunk on a regular basis. His kids told him he wasn't allowed to see the grandkids until he sobered up.
Took him a while but they held their word. After missing a few major events and not being invited to a few others he would start going 2-3 days at a time, which was a big achievement. It took him a while but eventually he straightened out.
Best of luck to you and yours.
Took him a while but they held their word. After missing a few major events and not being invited to a few others he would start going 2-3 days at a time, which was a big achievement. It took him a while but eventually he straightened out.
Best of luck to you and yours.
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:07 am to Dunder Mifflin
quote:
Are there any products out there that I can slip into his brandy bottle to make it taste terrible?
That's not going to stop an alcoholic. Taste is merely a perk, not the end goal. He needs the alcohol, and he'll get it anyway he sees fit.
quote:
We've tried everything.
Rehab?
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:07 am to Dunder Mifflin
quote:Have you told him this?
We don't want to lose him. He's been like a father to me for a long time.
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:08 am to Dunder Mifflin
Antabuse will make him violently ill and throw up if he drinks but he has to take the pills every day. To be honest, they have to want to change before taking any other steps so accept what happens whichever path they take
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:09 am to Dunder Mifflin
quote:
He's almost died twice in the last two years due to sepsis. He drinks brandy every night to help him sleep. Are there any products out there that I can slip into his brandy bottle to make it taste terrible?
If he drinks that much I can assure you taste has little to do with it.
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:11 am to Dunder Mifflin
Would it be that hard just to have a drink with the guy and discuss his problems? Sounds like he just needs a trusted drinking buddy, not someone who wants to go behind his back and tamper with his private property.
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:11 am to Dunder Mifflin
Have an intervention like on The Office.
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:12 am to sleepytime
quote:
Antabuse will make him violently ill and throw up if he drinks but he has to take the pills every day.
I have heard about this... but yeah they have to take the pills every day or it won't work. So... they have to want to get better.
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:18 am to Dunder Mifflin
If he doesn't want to get better, he won't. If he wants to get better, there will still be plenty of times where he screws up.
Dr. Drew always says support the recovery not the addiction.
Also try al anon meetings, they are honestly for things like this.
Dr. Drew always says support the recovery not the addiction.
Also try al anon meetings, they are honestly for things like this.
This post was edited on 10/10/16 at 9:19 am
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:26 am to sleepytime
quote:
make him violently ill and throw up
If I wanted to be violently ill and throw up everyday, I'd just keep drinking
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:28 am to Dunder Mifflin
Are you in BR? If so, try the TAU center.
If he gets aggressive, have him committed.
If he gets aggressive, have him committed.
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:28 am to Jcorye1
I recently watched a friend go through a similar situation with his father. It's terribly sad. His dad knew he was an alcoholic, though, but he figured since he had been doing it so long and nothing bad had happened up until that point. After 6 months or so of his family urging, they finally tried an alternate route. They had taken him to a psychiatrist, but he did not trust him. So, they took him to his long term primary care physician, who he had been lying to about his alcohol abuse. It was a joint appointment with the gentleman's two children (adult age) and wife. It worked. It wasnt overnight, but buddy told me he said it "meant more" to his father coming from a doctor he trusted. It was by no means overnight, but he has begun his road to recovery. Luckily for them there were no big accidents, or disease, at that point. Hopefully he sticks to it!
Try seeing if the gentleman has a doctor he trusts/is his friend that will consult with him and his family/you. Ask him what he is most comfortable doing, and explain that you are only doing it because you care, but that you will support him no matter what his decision is. If you can get him in with someone he trusts, and is also a medical professional, maybe that particular professional can speak on the affects, long term and short term, including family problems, that comes with what he is doing. Keep trying, and dont give up. Who means the most to him in the entire world? Children? Grand children? Have them tell him how important he is, and that he is hurting himself and them. This doesnt work with everyone, but it worked with my father on both alcohol and cigarettes. After I told him when I was around 9, he quit cold turkey. My mom on the other hand, she just feels attacked if we approach it in that way. I've come to the point that she will probably never change.
ETA: Best of luck! Stay strong and never quit fighting for those you care about!
Try seeing if the gentleman has a doctor he trusts/is his friend that will consult with him and his family/you. Ask him what he is most comfortable doing, and explain that you are only doing it because you care, but that you will support him no matter what his decision is. If you can get him in with someone he trusts, and is also a medical professional, maybe that particular professional can speak on the affects, long term and short term, including family problems, that comes with what he is doing. Keep trying, and dont give up. Who means the most to him in the entire world? Children? Grand children? Have them tell him how important he is, and that he is hurting himself and them. This doesnt work with everyone, but it worked with my father on both alcohol and cigarettes. After I told him when I was around 9, he quit cold turkey. My mom on the other hand, she just feels attacked if we approach it in that way. I've come to the point that she will probably never change.
ETA: Best of luck! Stay strong and never quit fighting for those you care about!
This post was edited on 10/10/16 at 9:29 am
Posted on 10/10/16 at 9:34 am to Jcorye1
Thanks for the advice everybody. I really appreciate it. We've tried everything thing in the book short of Baker acting him. He denies he is drinking hard liquor, but I can see the levels of the bottles keep going down every day. It's sad.
What's also sad is that his wife won't help either as she has the same problem. The whole family can see it except for those two. Everyone has had quiet conversations with him telling him we love him and need him.
I guess a full blow intervention has to be the next step, but I don't think it will go very well. Should we try to isolate him away from his wife during the intervention since she may interfere with it? He is a retired military big wig, so it is very difficult for us to try to "preach" to someone who has fought in Vietnam, Cambodia, etc.
Thanks again.
What's also sad is that his wife won't help either as she has the same problem. The whole family can see it except for those two. Everyone has had quiet conversations with him telling him we love him and need him.
I guess a full blow intervention has to be the next step, but I don't think it will go very well. Should we try to isolate him away from his wife during the intervention since she may interfere with it? He is a retired military big wig, so it is very difficult for us to try to "preach" to someone who has fought in Vietnam, Cambodia, etc.
Thanks again.
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