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re: Pastor and NOBTS professor outed on Ashley Madison commits suicide

Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:42 pm to
Posted by Tiger Ryno
#WoF
Member since Feb 2007
103259 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:42 pm to
He probably had a greater sense of shame and remorse and guilt than most of us would feel.
Posted by VetteGuy
Member since Feb 2008
28556 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:44 pm to
It's pretty clear he was overtaken with guilt and shame.

It obviously wasn't the right answer.
Posted by AU4real35
Member since Jan 2014
16065 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:44 pm to
Very sad.
Posted by lsufan112001
sportsmans paradise
Member since Oct 2006
10758 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:45 pm to
Sounds like he was full of shite, and truly selfish.
so now after he can't fulfill his desires, he checks out. So once again he shite on his family.

Feel for the family though, it's gotta really hurt them a lot.
Posted by Tiger Ryno
#WoF
Member since Feb 2007
103259 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:47 pm to
None of us know this man...for all we know he could have done this one mistake several years ago and never even physically cheated...we don't know.
Posted by trom83
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Oct 2013
4724 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:48 pm to
quote:

so now after he can't fulfill his desires, he checks out. So once again he shite on his family.

Feel for the family though, it's gotta really hurt them a lot.



Definitely feel for the family.
Posted by tigerinthebueche
Member since Oct 2010
36791 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:49 pm to
quote:

He probably had a greater sense of shame and remorse and guilt than most of us would feel.


usually happens when you are genuinely sorry for your mistake. Doesn't mean he had to further hurt his family/friends by offing himself.
Posted by Team Vote
DFW
Member since Aug 2014
7736 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:50 pm to
quote:

Sounds like he was full of shite, and truly selfish.
so now after he can't fulfill his desires, he checks out. So once again he shite on his family.


Sounds like you've never known a suicidal person

ETA: to many depressed people, they feel they will be too much of a burden on their loved ones and are doing them a favor.
This post was edited on 9/9/15 at 12:51 pm
Posted by tigerinthebueche
Member since Oct 2010
36791 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:52 pm to
quote:

It obviously wasn't the right answer.



didn't mean to imply you were condoning the suicide. Just trying to keep some objectivity lest we get focused on his "pain". The situation wasn't visited on him like a cancer. He did it to himself- start to finish.
Posted by Napoleon
Kenna
Member since Dec 2007
69285 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:53 pm to
of course we all let people down, just most of us can cope with our mistakes and not do something as selfish as suicide.

Posted by LucasP
Member since Apr 2012
21618 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:54 pm to
quote:

to many depressed people, they feel they will be too much of a burden on their loved ones and are doing them a favor.


Serious question: in that case, why not make it look like an accident? There's lots of ways you can check out without leaving the emotional burden of a suicide in your wake.
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
98479 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:55 pm to
Yeah, the guy was a hypocrite. I don't agree with basically anything the guy stood for theologically. I still wish he could have seen some other way out of his predicament, and I am sorry for his family and what they will have to deal with for the rest of their lives.

A local pastor killed himself several years ago. No deep dark secrets that anyone found out about, and he didn't leave a note explaining why. It was probably just depression. These guys aren't immune to all the problems that affect everyone else, and they often don't feel like they have anyone to turn to, they have to act like they have it all together.
Posted by VetteGuy
Member since Feb 2008
28556 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:55 pm to
quote:

Just trying to keep some objectivity lest we get focused on his "pain".


Agreed.

Generally, people who do what he did don't do it for selfish reasons.
They get to a place in their minds where they think their family and the world would be better off w/o them in it.

I am no doctor, this is just what I have gathered.
Posted by Team Vote
DFW
Member since Aug 2014
7736 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:57 pm to
quote:

Serious question: in that case, why not make it look like an accident? There's lots of ways you can check out without leaving the emotional burden of a suicide in your wake.


Honestly, I don't know. I'm sure it does happen. I just don't believe suicidal people have the same rationality as the rest of us. I'm sure many disagree and view it as coward's way out, etc.
Posted by Placebeaux
Bobby Fischer Fan Club President
Member since Jun 2008
51852 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:59 pm to
Protestants, religion born is the sinful mind of a Calvinist Dictator.
Posted by LucasP
Member since Apr 2012
21618 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 12:59 pm to
Not trying to be a smart arse or anything, just genuinely curious. I don't have any strong feelings on suicide either way, just wondering and there seems to be some experts in here. So I figured I'd ask.
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
98479 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 1:00 pm to
quote:

Generally, people who do what he did don't do it for selfish reasons. They get to a place in their minds where they think their family and the world would be better off w/o them in it


This. I wish people would get it into their heads that it's not "selfish." A suicidal person is not thinking rationally, and trying to reason with them is unproductive. All you can do is try to get them through the immediate crisis without harming themselves, and then work on the underlying issue.
Posted by AU4real35
Member since Jan 2014
16065 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 1:01 pm to
quote:

Sounds like he was full of shite, and truly selfish. so now after he can't fulfill his desires, he checks out. So once again he shite on his family. Feel for the family though, it's gotta really hurt them a lot.


I find it weird that people make these assumptions of others on what they read on social media... He made mistakes and ultimately took his life, but do you know the rest of his story? Did you read the article that said he had bouts with depression or where his wife,the one he cheated on, said that he was full of grace and mercy? What if this guy helped people all his life and in one instance of vulnerability he decided to venture to this website? I don't know the guy and he may have been a scumbag, but you don't know him also and you come on here with your asinine comments... I could say that you're a "piece of shite" for saying these things about someone you have no idea about, but i reserve judgment, because I have no idea who you are and what you do...
Posted by tigerinthebueche
Member since Oct 2010
36791 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 1:01 pm to
quote:

Generally, people who do what he did don't do it for selfish reasons.


not a doctor either, but certainly not ignorant of depression or the other psychological maladies that beset people. I just can't see how one would do this without realizing its a selfish act (just like adultery). I love life too much- even the really shitty days- to ever consider killing myself. And I AM selfish!
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
98479 posts
Posted on 9/9/15 at 1:07 pm to
quote:

not a doctor either, but certainly not ignorant of depression or the other psychological maladies that beset people. I just can't see how one would do this without realizing its a selfish act (just like adultery). I love life too much- even the really shitty days- to ever consider killing myself. And I AM selfish!


I'm dragging everybody else down. They can all move on to a better life without having to deal with my shite all the time.

My wife would be better off without me and with the insurance money.

I'm an embarrassment to my family.

Or, it just hurts too much emotionally to keep on living. A cancer patient in intractable pain wouldn't be accused of selfishness for deciding they can't take it any more.

Someone in a suicidal crisis is thinking like that, and you can't convince them otherwise. You have to just keep them from harming themselves. Later, maybe they can be helped to see that people do love them, that it's not hopeless, and that there are ways to ease the pain. In the midst of it, you can't convince them of anything because their mind won't accept it.

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