re: The Office Season 2

quote:

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cartoon watermark scancal

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That might be my favorite episode

Jim: [Dressed as Dwight] It's kind of blurry. [puts on his glasses] That's better.
Jim Halpert: Question. What kind of bear is best?
Dwight Schrute: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim Halpert: False. Black bear.
Dwight Schrute: That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought--
Jim Halpert: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight Schrute: Bears do not... What is going on?! What are you doing?!
Dwight Schrute: You know what, immitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you. [Jim places bobblehead on desk] Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!
Jim Halpert: Michael!
Dwight Schrute: Oh that's funny. Michael!



Michael: Everybody in here. STAT. No time to lose. Cri-Man-Squa. F and C, doubletime.
Dwight: Cri-Man-Squa?
Michael: Crisis Management Squad.
Ryan: F and C, doubletime?
Michael: Front and Center. Twice as fast as you would normally go. Any other questions?
Jim: One more. Why are you talking like that?
Michael: To save time, Jim.
Karen: Actually I think you could make the argument that it wastes time.
Pam: Yeah, she has a good point. I mean, for example, with the last thing you said, by the time you explained it, it actually took up more time


Creed: Every week I'm supposed to take four hours and do a quality spot-check at the paper mill. And of course the one year I blow it off, this happens.


Michael: Here's the thing. When a company screws up, best thing to do is call a press conference. Alert the media, and then you control the story. Wait for them to find out, and the story controls you. That's what happened to O.J.
Michael: I have invited Barbara Allen, one of our oldest clients, to come in here, and meet with me, for a personal apology. The press wants a story, I will give them a story.
Jim: Oh, did the press ask for a story?
Michael: Here is your headline. "Scranton Area Paper Company, Dunder Mifflin, apologizes to valued client. Some companies still know how business is done." Okay? Battle stations everybody, let's go, go, go, go, go, go!


Barbara: I'm calling the Better Business Bureau.
Michael: Yeah, well I'm calling the Ungrateful Bi-atch Hotline! [to Chad Lite] Did you get all that?
Chad Lite: Everything.


Michael: Five, four, three. "There is no way, I will resign. It wouldn't be fair. Not to the good workers I work with, not to my clients, and especially not to me. Let's not forget who this whole resigning business is about, anyway. If I could leave you with one thought, remember... it wasn't me. They're trying to make me an escape goat. If I am fired, I swear to God, that every single piece of copier paper in this town is going to have the F-word on it. The F-word. You have one day."
Pam: One day for what?
Michael: That's... they always give an ultimatum.
Pam: OK.
Michael: Good, cut?
Pam: Cut. That was your best apology video ever.
Michael: Thought so too.


Dwight: [walks in dressed as Jim] Pam.
Pam: Hey, Dwight. You look really nice today.
Dwight: [scoffs] Pssssh. I look like an idiot. Hey Karen.
Karen: Hey, Dwight, lookin' sharp.
Dwight: Yeah, that's cause I'm... you're boyfriend, Jim Halpert. Hey, Karen, wanna get t-together later and have sexual intercourse cause you're my girlfriend?
Jim: Do you?
Karen: No.
Jim: OK.
Karen: I'm good. Thanks.
Jim: [Dwight imitates the "Jim face"] Look at that.
Dwight: I'm Jim Halpert. [more horrible "Jim faces"]
Jim: Spot on.
Dwight: Ah-luh-luh, a little comment. Muh.