Do you have a life event or regret you just can't get over? (long)

I'm being one hundred percent serious here, go seek help. Most insurances cover therapy. Utilize it. It helped me with some shite I couldn't move past.

ETA: Ahh, just reread and said you tried counseling. I don't know what to tell you. Time heals all I suppose

im not sure any therapy could help me get over something like that. holy frick

I was going to recount something of my own, but it's trivial compared to your story. Beating yourself up for the rest of your life won't bring him back. Make your life count for something positive. That can never be anything but an awful experience, but try to use it as a springboard to do some good in the world in honor of your friend. You are living for two people now.

Edit: I've come to the conclusion this isn't a troll.

Don't beat yourself over something like this. Accidents happen, and this is just one fricked up accident. The situation will get better. In the meantime do some soul searching. I live by a moral compass that has brought me inner peace and happiness. Good luck.

Damn, man. Sorry to hear it.

It may not mean much coming from a stranger, but just want you to know you did the right thing going out and getting your bud that night. Nothing about what happened changed that you were a good friend to him that night by picking him up.

Deep down, in this dimension or the next, your buddy is grateful for you and understanding of where you both find yourselves. He'd likely be heartbroken to know the pain you're feeling.

All I can recommend is to make your life extraordinary. For him and for you. It's weird, but had this not happened, you wouldhave gone on living a normal, meaningless life like almost every single one of the rest of us reading your thread.

But you have the chance and the calling to live at a higher level and do things for him, yourself and others that you wouldn't have ever thought about before. All I can do is wish you luck and encourage you to do every little small thing you can to make it a net positive. That may sound ridiculous to hear, that you can make it a net positive... but you simply pursuing that does the job.

Good luck and prayers sent.

FWIW, some therapists are a lot better than others. It may not hurt to give another one a try. I hope you can get past this and find some happiness. Your heart was in the right place that night.

Sure do.

I wish my parents hadn't gotten divorced only to have my dad die three years later.

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They say time mends all wounds

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it does and it doesn't.

Stay strong Brother!

I'm sorry to hear about this entire situation. I've got no real experience worth comparing. Even if you feel counseling isn't helping/doesn't help, I wouldn't personally discontinue it. This is not the kind of mental anguish that you're going to walk away from in a day's, week's month's, or year's time. But you have to stop and put everything into perspective.

It sounds like the guy thought a lot of you to feel comfortable calling you in the wee hours for a ride. That's a level of friendship that a surprisingly small number of people come across. Celebrate it. You did your best to help a friend out of a jam. Your decision was not a poor one. If you could have known the future, you would have acted differently. But that would have been impossible to know at the time. And I would wager that very few people would have acted differently than you. And had they acted differently (by not picking him up), who knows what would have happened? Sure, he may have made it home somehow or another. But maybe he would have driven and wound up right where he is anyway. Or in prison. Or in a wreck that hurt someone else. It's impossible to know. All things considered, it would be hard for anyone to say that you have done anything wrong.


Now, what can you do? I would reach out to his family if you haven't. Let them know how much you love him and never meant any harm. Reach out to another friend, coworker, member of a faith organization (if you are part of one, you've got a lot better support system than if you don't. Clergy are fantastic people to turn to in these sorts of situations, should that be of interest to you).

In terms of my attempt to share something, I was in a fairly dark place for a while. I didn't really know what getting up each morning was for. I was lost. I don't really think I even wanted to stick around to figure out my way. I didn't enjoy things I once did. I spent more nights than not drinking in my room after my roommates had gone to bed. But one day when I had no where in particular to go, which were particularly difficult days for me to really feel like even rolling out of bed, I noticed the sun rising through my blinds. And I thought about it for a while. And I took a deep breath in. I came to the realization that there couldn't be a better thing in the world than the sun rising and me still being around to see it. It took me much, much longer than those few moments to figure anything else about me out or why I was even around, but I knew that each day that came was one day closer to finding out what it was. You can't get to a better part of life without going through today, so be damn thankful that you saw today, no matter how good, bad, or neutral it may have been. It's probably stupid. And it's definitely simple. But it gets me through each day.

Man wish there was something I could tell you, but you will be in my prayers

There's no particular life event that has hurt me. But I suffered through depression for several years. I couldn't sleep, eat, or really do anything productive. I felt like there was no where to turn. Until one day I just completely collapsed in front of my family and friends and let them know what was up and it has completely changed my view of things. The amount of support that I received was overwhelming and has changed my life for the better. So that's all I got just try to reach to family and friends and you'd be surprised how many people are there to support you.

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NittanyLionsRoar

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This is something that you need to talk about with your friends and family who love you and will help you. We may be giving you candid advice under the guise of anonymity on the internet but trust me when I say that the more intimate relationships in your life are better equipped to help you handle this problem. It's time to lean on them...

You have my thoughts and prayers and I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you can deal with this to the very best of your ability.