re: What's the Hottest steaming load of BS anyone ever told you?

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A combine...no. But life on land teaches you to do a lot of things early. I used to drive the old 83 ford pickup in the front fields when I was four. Stand on the seat, lever into drive to go, lever into neutral and coast to a stop. With people scooping limbs and hay into the back, it was easier to teach us.

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This is the same about the same age I learned how to "drive" the pickup at our ranch. My dad would throw it in neutral and then hop in the back to throw out feed for the cattle. The Texas Panhandle is fairly flat, so there was no real danger of getting out of control. I'm pretty sure there were always two kids in the truck. One to stand on the seat and steer, the other to be ready to hit the brake should we need it.

This guy with a camera and black leather couch told me there was a job.

A friend of mine was banging this crazy broad( call her sara) in high school. After a few weeks of him being distant she tells him that she is pregnant. She had the test and everything. He of course straight up a little (while begging for an abortion i imagine) and he promised to be around.His family is loaded out the arse so money wouldnt be an issue for the kid. Anyway a month or so goes by and she has a miscarriage, it was a rough time for them both. They ended breaking up after all that. He was seriously fricked for awhile

Well sure as shite we are sitting by a pool with one her close friends a few years later and her friend says something like "hey i still can't believe Sara was able to convince ya'll she was pregnant haha. What do she say to make believe that?". I still can't believe that crazy bitch pulled all that off

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Global warming is just a myth.

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It isn't a myth, it's simply a false religion.

LC

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Darth_Vader

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The fight I described is actually based on a fight I witnessed. Speaking of real life, there's a lot you don't know about it.

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Kurt Cobain changed music

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This times 1 million. The guy/Nirvana sucked.

When my wife tells me sh is not "upset" anymore.... Lies.... All lies...

One of my old secretary's went on a cruise to cozumel and Jamaica.

She didn't comeback the following week as planned. She was 5 days late coming back to work. When you she showed back up she told us the ship had been held up by pirates.

When I was in college many years ago, I worked at a Blockbuster Video during the summers and holidays to earn a little spending money for the school year.

Two employees there were just fricking gold for bullshite.

One was a guy who claimed he was a former SEAL who did all kind of black ops missions in Central America, and he couldn't tell us about all the shite he was in. I always found him most interesting of all considering he went about 5'6", 160, had coke-bottle glasses and looked like he would be more likely to be featured on "To Catch a Predator" than actually make it through Basic. I wish I could say he was entertaining, but he wasn't... however...

The entertaining one was this old, white-haired retiree named Vic who used to tell me all kind of stories about chicks he banged and shite he got into back in the 40's and 50's. He was the guy who got me hooked on asking old people to tell scandalous stories. You never knew what would come out of this dude's mouth. Bar fights, stealing cars, nailing the head cheerleader AND her friend after football practice... I'm sure much of it was embellished, but I wanted to believe it... and I still do. frick it. Vic was a god.

If you ever get in good with some old dudes, ask them for their stories. Most of the time, they will give them up. They have the best, dirtiest, most vile stories you could ask for. And they laugh their asses off when they tell them. We have NOTHING on these guys. Believe it.