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Started By
Message
Joke du jour: Boudreaux's missing wife..
Posted on 2/17/14 at 4:52 pm
Posted on 2/17/14 at 4:52 pm
Boudreaux's wife went missing one day. A few days later, the State Police showed up at his door.
SP: "Boudreaux, we have bad news, good news and great news."
Boudreaux: "What's the bad news?"
SP: "We pulled your wife out of the bay this morning. She's dead."
Boudreaux: "What's the good news?"
SP: "She had 3 dozen crabs on her and we brought you your share."
Boudreaux: "What's the great news?"
SP: "We're pulling her up again in the morning."
SP: "Boudreaux, we have bad news, good news and great news."
Boudreaux: "What's the bad news?"
SP: "We pulled your wife out of the bay this morning. She's dead."
Boudreaux: "What's the good news?"
SP: "She had 3 dozen crabs on her and we brought you your share."
Boudreaux: "What's the great news?"
SP: "We're pulling her up again in the morning."
Posted on 2/17/14 at 4:56 pm to Captain Ron
I've liked that joke for years, except it was Boudreaux's Mother-in-Law back in the day. Much funnier.
Posted on 2/17/14 at 5:00 pm to Captain Ron
quote:
Joke du jour: Boudreaux's missing wife..
Posted on 2/17/14 at 9:00 pm to Captain Ron
Boudreaux got sent home from the plant early one day but he was so tired he just ignored his pretty young wife and went straight to bed.
No sooner than when he closed his did the telephone ring. A male voice inquired "Is the coast clear?"
Annoyed, Boudreaux replied "How the Hell should I know? That's over a hundred miles from here!"
No sooner than when he closed his did the telephone ring. A male voice inquired "Is the coast clear?"
Annoyed, Boudreaux replied "How the Hell should I know? That's over a hundred miles from here!"
Posted on 2/17/14 at 9:03 pm to johnnydrama
And frick all of you with your damn Boudreaux jokes.
Seriously, their not very funny.
Seriously, their not very funny.
Posted on 2/17/14 at 9:33 pm to LSUbacchus
The game warden was making his rounds in the marsh when he began hearing loud explosions. He turned his boat in the direction of the noises and saw another boat in the distance. As he approached, he recognized the boat's occupant. It was none other than Boudreau.
"Boudreau," said the game warden, "what's making all these loud explosions?"
Boudreau answered, "Maaaay, I'm fishin', me."
"Fishing?" asked the game warden. "How can you possibly be making that kind of noise by fishing? Besides, you don't even have any fishing gear in your boat."
"It's a new way I done learned ta catch dem speckled trout," said Boudreau. "May, lemme show ya. I take me dis stick o' dynamite, I light it, den throw it in da wata -like dis. Boooom! When it blow up, all da fish fly up in da air an' den fall in da boat. Den I scoop 'em up an' put 'em in my ice chest."
"Boudreau, you can't do that," said the game warden. "That kind of fishing is illegal. I'm going to have to arrest you."
Boudreau leaned over, picked up a stick of dynamite, lit it, tossed it to the game warden and said, "Now, sha, you gonna talk or you gonna fish?"
"Boudreau," said the game warden, "what's making all these loud explosions?"
Boudreau answered, "Maaaay, I'm fishin', me."
"Fishing?" asked the game warden. "How can you possibly be making that kind of noise by fishing? Besides, you don't even have any fishing gear in your boat."
"It's a new way I done learned ta catch dem speckled trout," said Boudreau. "May, lemme show ya. I take me dis stick o' dynamite, I light it, den throw it in da wata -like dis. Boooom! When it blow up, all da fish fly up in da air an' den fall in da boat. Den I scoop 'em up an' put 'em in my ice chest."
"Boudreau, you can't do that," said the game warden. "That kind of fishing is illegal. I'm going to have to arrest you."
Boudreau leaned over, picked up a stick of dynamite, lit it, tossed it to the game warden and said, "Now, sha, you gonna talk or you gonna fish?"
Posted on 2/17/14 at 9:48 pm to Elusiveporpi
Deliberate disobedience of Louisiana Wildlife and Fisheries statutes and regulations is NOT FUNNY !
Posted on 2/17/14 at 10:19 pm to Captain Ron
quote:
I've liked that joke for years, except it was Boudreaux's Mother-in-Law back in the day. Much funnier.
This
Posted on 2/17/14 at 10:31 pm to Captain Ron
Pedro is on his front porch in da mornin, sipping his coffee and watching the bayou. He sees Boudreaux coming up on his pirogue.
"Hey Boudreaux!"
"He Pedro! Howsyamomanem?"
"Boudreaux! Where ya goin and watcha got in your boat?"
"Pedro, I got me plenty of crabgrass. I'm gonna catch me some crabs!"
"Boudreaux, you're a dumb coonass. Crabgrass aint gonna catch crabs!"
Later that afternoon, Boudreaux comes motoring down the bayou with a pirogue full of crabs.
(repeat this scene two or three times. Catfish and catnip, mudbugs and mud, you know the drill here)
On the third day, Pedro sees Boudreaux motoring down the bayou again. He yells out "Hey Boudreaux, what you fixin ta catch today and watcha got?"
Boudreaux calls out "I got my boat full of pussy willow."
Pedro says "Hang on there Boudreaux, I'll be right dere witcha."
"Hey Boudreaux!"
"He Pedro! Howsyamomanem?"
"Boudreaux! Where ya goin and watcha got in your boat?"
"Pedro, I got me plenty of crabgrass. I'm gonna catch me some crabs!"
"Boudreaux, you're a dumb coonass. Crabgrass aint gonna catch crabs!"
Later that afternoon, Boudreaux comes motoring down the bayou with a pirogue full of crabs.
(repeat this scene two or three times. Catfish and catnip, mudbugs and mud, you know the drill here)
On the third day, Pedro sees Boudreaux motoring down the bayou again. He yells out "Hey Boudreaux, what you fixin ta catch today and watcha got?"
Boudreaux calls out "I got my boat full of pussy willow."
Pedro says "Hang on there Boudreaux, I'll be right dere witcha."
Posted on 2/17/14 at 10:47 pm to foshizzle
Boudreaux was looking for a job and went to a logging company that was advertising for a supervisor.
The owner of the company took one look at Boudreaux and knew this dumb coon arse was not the guy for the job.
So he tells Boudreaux he has a test to see if he knew anything about trees.
He takes Boudreaux outside and points at the closest tree.
"Show me the front side of that tree and you got the job!"
Boudreaux walks down to the tree, walks around it a couple times and finally says, "This is the front side of the tree!"
The owner, knowing there is no such thing as a front side of a tree, he says, "Explain to me how that is the front side of the tree?"
Boudreaux takes the owner down to the opposite side of where he said was the front and tells him to stand right there.
When the owner does this, he smells something awful.
"What is that smell?" asked the owner.
Boudreaux points to the ground and says you are standing in a pile of shite.
"Someone took a shite behind this tree, making the other side the front of the tree!"
Boudreaux started the next day!!!
The owner of the company took one look at Boudreaux and knew this dumb coon arse was not the guy for the job.
So he tells Boudreaux he has a test to see if he knew anything about trees.
He takes Boudreaux outside and points at the closest tree.
"Show me the front side of that tree and you got the job!"
Boudreaux walks down to the tree, walks around it a couple times and finally says, "This is the front side of the tree!"
The owner, knowing there is no such thing as a front side of a tree, he says, "Explain to me how that is the front side of the tree?"
Boudreaux takes the owner down to the opposite side of where he said was the front and tells him to stand right there.
When the owner does this, he smells something awful.
"What is that smell?" asked the owner.
Boudreaux points to the ground and says you are standing in a pile of shite.
"Someone took a shite behind this tree, making the other side the front of the tree!"
Boudreaux started the next day!!!
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