Had my manhood stolen from me Sat night

Took the wife for a simple Valentines dinner. Heading home to do a fire, music and a couple drinks before fun time.
Came up to a light where the road merges from two lanes to one a few hundred yards up. Figured I'd goose it a bit off the light and get ahead of the white SUV next to me before the merge. Even stayed back a couple feet to not give away my plan.
Light changes, I get a nice jump and give the Baby Duramax in my Silverado enough womp um to get clearly ahead before the merge and not crowd the SUV. It was at this point that the gates of hell opened up next to me and an onslaught of horsepower thundered the lane to my right. For a split second I hammered the throttle to lessen the visual pain but was to no avail. At the merge I tuck in well behind the SUV as he screams away from me into the night while emitting sounds from it's exhaust that would rival a trackside seat at Daytona.

arse officially handed to me on a platter.
Manhood ripped from my vehicular body.
Soul kidnapped forever with the judicious application of throttle from the gentleman in the next lane.

As the wife looks over with incredulous dismay I realize my Valentines Day will not end as planned. My desires and thoughts of a lusty finish to the evening stolen like a thief in the night by some dude in a stupid white SUV.

I spent my youth street racing hot cars back in the day. More times than not I was the one pulling away in a glorious combination of horsepower and speed. I knew what most cars on the road were capable of. I knew "the enemy". And while I haven't kept up much with the newer stuff I still thought I had some knowledge of what's out there.
But I learned a hard lesson. There is one vehicle out there that.is the ultimate " sleeper". One that while looks like a mildly sporty SUV but is actually a well-hidden banshee of horsepower waiting to unleash it upon unsuspecting fools

My nemesis Sat evening is known as a Jeep Cherokee Trackhawk. The good folks at Jeep got hammered one night and in a wild, alcohol induced state of mind decided to stuff a Dodge HellCat engine into their demure SUV body.
All wheel drive
707 horsepower
0-60 in 3.5 sec
Top speed 180 mph

Beware good folks of the OT board. Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife

And for God's sake DO NOT challenge one of these soul-crushing beasts on the highways or streets upon which we travel..... Lest ye be made an example as I was last Sat night.

You have been warned...