Baldur’s Gate show coming to HBO

can't wait to see the bear sex scene

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Craig Mazin

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Craig Mazin

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Karlach and Shadowheart are 100% going to be black and gay

This is going to be really, really gay

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Larian is apparently not even involved in this

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Which means a complete re-write. Somewhere Sweet Baby Inc just social-justice-gasm'd

Theme: Defeating Colonization by Destroying the Patriarchy

Astarion awakes on the crashed Nautiloid, meeting other survivors. Astarion courageously introduces himself as a non-binary elf rogue who has survived of 200 years of systemic vampiric abuse under the patriarchal tyrant Cazador Szarr. His prefered pronouns: ball/gag. Astarion's wit is sassy and sharper than any dagger but it didn't keep him from being tadpoled -against his consent in a gross violation of bodily autonomy- by the Illithid colonizers.

Other introductions are made:
-Lae'zel (they/them githyanki warrior, decolonizing their creche's Vlaakith cult)
-Shadowheart (zi/zem half-elf cleric, unpacking Shar's toxic memory-rape cult)
-Gayle (he/them wizard, recovering from the patriarchy of Mystryl's oppression)
-Wyll (he/him black & proud warlock/fighter, who recently broke from the racist chains of Mizora's spells of Cultural Betrayal)
-Karlach (she/her tiefling barbarian, escaped hell-slave with an infernal engine heart—pure body positivity and feminist icon)

Season 1: Awakening to Solidarity (a summary)
Crash-landing on Toxicity Beach, Astarion links up with his new, diverse found-family of marginalized icons. They rallied against their tadpoles' psionic microaggressions, guided by the Dream Visitor (later revealed as the Emperor, a rogue illithid ally fighting Elder Brain's toxic masculinity/supremacy). The group's journey begins with saving the anti-fascist Emerald Grove autonomous collective, a druidic enclave gatekeeping sacred lands from tiefling refugees fleeing Elturel's hellish displacement. The story gets more... uhm... just more... as we find out the Groves enemies are goblins. They aren't just any goblins though, they are an underclass of mentally handi-capables who have been unknowingly radicalized by the Absolute's false propaganda. Meanwhile, internally the Grove is clashing against a newly uncovered sect of druidic eco-fascists led by Kagha's Rite of Thorns (which is found to be a blatant erasure of refugee rights). Astarion, ever the intersectional ally, exposes Kagha's Druids, rescues Halsin (they/them bear-druid, pansexual nature liberationist), and forges peace by uniting the tieflings and goblins against shared oppressors.

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So where does the potato...err....bella ramsey come in?

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Did you ever watch Orphan Black?

Well, it's probably not all on HBO. WotC, who owns the IP, is just a tad left of Chairman Mao.