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Anyone experience douchey coaches in youth rec leagues?
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:45 am
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:45 am
One of my sons is basically an average athlete, depending on the sport. Basketball probably a little less than, football and baseball slightly above.
He plays on a 10 year old level school rec team, that is very clearly laid out to be for the purposes of developmental and instructional.
4 teams with the school. And about 8 or 9 kids on each team, my son is probably the 6th or 7th guy on his team.
All the coaches happen to be Dads of players who also happen to be the 1st or 2nd best player on each respective team
Coach’s kids never come out during games. Maybe a one minute breather at most.
Bench players 6 thru 9 play a quarter or two quarters at most. Often in short stretches where they don’t have enough time to get comfortable.
Close games or crunch time, bench players don’t get in.
All plays designed to go thru the best one or two players with the other players acting as cleanup guys.
There are a ton of options out there for competitive AAU type leagues where these guys can get their kids on to play max competition.
I had a 30 minute phone call with our coach about it, and how the kids not getting are being screwed out of being able to develop. Practice is not enough, you have to learn thru mistakes in game situations. He basically admits he is in the wrong but gets caught up in the “competition” of it in the game.
Next move is go to the athletic Director to complain.
Am I being the douche here? And should just tell my kid he needs to work harder and he isn’t as good? Or is the coach the douche for treating 5th grade rec basketball like he’s in the state finals?
He plays on a 10 year old level school rec team, that is very clearly laid out to be for the purposes of developmental and instructional.
4 teams with the school. And about 8 or 9 kids on each team, my son is probably the 6th or 7th guy on his team.
All the coaches happen to be Dads of players who also happen to be the 1st or 2nd best player on each respective team
Coach’s kids never come out during games. Maybe a one minute breather at most.
Bench players 6 thru 9 play a quarter or two quarters at most. Often in short stretches where they don’t have enough time to get comfortable.
Close games or crunch time, bench players don’t get in.
All plays designed to go thru the best one or two players with the other players acting as cleanup guys.
There are a ton of options out there for competitive AAU type leagues where these guys can get their kids on to play max competition.
I had a 30 minute phone call with our coach about it, and how the kids not getting are being screwed out of being able to develop. Practice is not enough, you have to learn thru mistakes in game situations. He basically admits he is in the wrong but gets caught up in the “competition” of it in the game.
Next move is go to the athletic Director to complain.
Am I being the douche here? And should just tell my kid he needs to work harder and he isn’t as good? Or is the coach the douche for treating 5th grade rec basketball like he’s in the state finals?
This post was edited on 1/19/26 at 10:47 am
74
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:47 am to burger bearcat
Slash his tires in the parking lot
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:47 am to burger bearcat
I came to visit home for a few weeks and went to a couple of my nine year old nieces bball games and the amount of fighting between referees and 40 year old coaches was insane. This was at pelican park. Every game I went to the coaches were all in the faces of the refs and screaming. Insane. It wasnt just one teams coach either it was a few different ones.
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:47 am to burger bearcat
quote:
All the coaches happen to be Dads of players who also happen to be the 1st or 2nd best player on each respective team
Coach’s kids never come out during games. Maybe a one minute breather at most.
shocking
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:49 am to burger bearcat
quote:The better question is "Anyone not experience douchey coaches in youth rec leagues?"
Anyone experience douchey coaches in youth rec leagues?
It is all about the coaches. They are feeding off the victories of 5th graders, dreaming of how they could coach a college team.
This post was edited on 1/19/26 at 10:51 am
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:49 am to burger bearcat
There's a gif of Les Miles swatting some little kid's shot in a pick up basketball game that would be perfect here but I can never find it.
Sounds to me like Braxxxtyn needs to work on his jumper and learn to box out better.
But also those coaches are lunatics and sorry you have to deal with that.
Sounds to me like Braxxxtyn needs to work on his jumper and learn to box out better.
But also those coaches are lunatics and sorry you have to deal with that.
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:50 am to burger bearcat
When I used to coach my son's team many moons ago, I would play all kids relatively equally for the first three quarters. If it got to the 4th and the game was in reach, the best 5 played.
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:50 am to burger bearcat
I coached my boy's baseball and football teams until they entered junior high. I never coached basketball, because that is a sport I didn't play growing up. My youngest son is a really good athlete, and one of the youth basketball coaches signed me up to coach with him so he would have my son on his team, without even asking if I would coach with him. And, this coach knew less than I did so I ended up having to coach the team. I was pissed the whole season.
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:51 am to burger bearcat
maybe you should coach next year and see how happy it makes all the families when your team goes 1-13 but all johnnies got near equal playing time and "development".
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:53 am to McMahonnequin
quote:
When I used to coach my son's team many moons ago, I would play all kids relatively equally for the first three quarters. If it got to the 4th and the game was in reach, the best 5 played.
I guess I take issue with this philosophy, at the younger development level.
How is it helping the kids outside the top 5 develop by not playing in those competitive situations
Again, this is rec level and developmental
I get that if it’s travel/aau
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:53 am to burger bearcat
Posts like this reaffirm that I will point my children toward golf, maybe tennis, and endurance sports. Not that I don't think that the "team" aspect of team sports wouldn't be good for them, but today's team sport atmosphere is toxic.
This post was edited on 1/19/26 at 11:04 am
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:54 am to Chad504boy
quote:
maybe you should coach next year and see how happy it makes all the families when your team goes 1-13 but all johnnies got near equal playing time and "development".
Obviously the dilemma being all the other coaches do the same thing, so yea the equal playing time team would suffer in the W column
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:56 am to burger bearcat
quote:
Obviously the dilemma being all the other coaches do the same thing, so yea the equal playing time team would suffer in the W column
if your son loves basketball, his development needs to pretty much come on his own or outside of the league play. relying upon "devlopment" in the league play is lazy and a bit of a dad cop out to helping his child get better in a sport if they want to excel and enjoy. chalk it up as a life lesson that the kid needs to work hard and get better.
this is meant as very friendly advice. 
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:57 am to burger bearcat
quote:
Am I being the douche here
Yes you are. Crying because your kid doesn't play enough including crunch time. Bet you think every team should get participation trophy's.
You're not teaching him anything about real life and the failures we must deal with along with success.
This post was edited on 1/19/26 at 11:01 am
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:58 am to burger bearcat
Do you take your son out side and coach him up?
Posted on 1/19/26 at 10:59 am to DownSouthJukin
My kid plays 6 v 6 flag football and one coach last season setup 2 GoPro cameras. One on a tripod about 12ft in the air and the second on strapped into a vest across his chest.
The parents who argue with the refs drive me insane, like they give a shite who wins or loses. I can promise the way to not get calls to go your way is to start berating them for something they may have missed.
The parents who argue with the refs drive me insane, like they give a shite who wins or loses. I can promise the way to not get calls to go your way is to start berating them for something they may have missed.
This post was edited on 1/19/26 at 11:01 am
Posted on 1/19/26 at 11:00 am to Chad504boy
(no message)
This post was edited on 1/19/26 at 11:01 am
Posted on 1/19/26 at 11:00 am to burger bearcat
Coach’s kids are usually better bc their dad works with them somewhere not at a practice like at home. They get more reps so they are better than the kids that only get reps at a scheduled practice.
Maybe they can’t go to AAU because it’s so expensive and they can’t afford it. Not all parents that spend time with their kids have a lot of money but can afford the time to spend with them.
Coaches at rec ball don’t get paid and actually anyone can volunteer to be a coach. You could have volunteered to be a coach and played the kids how you saw fit but instead you come on here whining about how your kid gets benched.
Maybe they can’t go to AAU because it’s so expensive and they can’t afford it. Not all parents that spend time with their kids have a lot of money but can afford the time to spend with them.
Coaches at rec ball don’t get paid and actually anyone can volunteer to be a coach. You could have volunteered to be a coach and played the kids how you saw fit but instead you come on here whining about how your kid gets benched.
Posted on 1/19/26 at 11:00 am to burger bearcat
Any parent that spends 30 min on a phone with a coach talking about playing time is a certified grade A douche.
Posted on 1/19/26 at 11:01 am to burger bearcat
One coach refused to pull his starters out when they were up almost 40 points in a basketball game..the kids were under 10...also they were not killing time on offense, kept shooting threes, etc.
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