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Started By
Message
Spin-off thread about inheritance.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:11 pm
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:11 pm
Are you a bad person for “expecting” some inheritance from a wealthy family member if you have a good relationship with them?
I say frick no. It’s a common practice in most societies for many centuries.
Apparently many on this site think you’re a piece of shite if you think a family member’s money or property should go to their children or grandchildren instead of it going to their new young wife.
I say frick no. It’s a common practice in most societies for many centuries.
Apparently many on this site think you’re a piece of shite if you think a family member’s money or property should go to their children or grandchildren instead of it going to their new young wife.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:13 pm to bhtigerfan
quote:I struggled with this when making my will.
Apparently many on this site think you’re a piece of shite if you think a family member’s money or property should go to their children or grandchildren instead of it going to their new young wife.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:13 pm to bhtigerfan
Should go wherever they want it to go. They earned and saved it.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:14 pm to AlxTgr
quote:If you have a good relationship with family members, it shouldn’t even be a question.
I struggled with this when making my will.
If a family member is a piece of shite and treats you like shite, I totally agree with giving them nothing.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:16 pm to bhtigerfan
quote:
wealthy family member
Need you to define wealthy
quote:
if you have a good relationship with them?
How much would you expect from them?
If all I have is a half mil and 4 kids, odds are my nieces and nephews are getting anything is slim. If I've got several million, I think I could help pay off some debts for the ones close to me.
This post was edited on 11/18/25 at 5:02 pm
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:16 pm to bhtigerfan
I mean, I don’t think it’s fair that the money goes to the new wife but it’s his money.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:17 pm to bhtigerfan
quote:It can get complicated. Balance between making sure new wife isn't destitute and has a place to live if I die, and making sure my kid benefits from the wealth built by me and his mother. Then you have the fact that without a will on her part, her children from her first marriage inherit over my kid.
If you have a good relationship with family members, it shouldn’t even be a question.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:19 pm to bhtigerfan
I agree but don't have to worry about it so never have coveted a family member's money. Already am financially supporting one parent. The in laws are certain to blow everything they have, which is fine. I hope to make significant financial gifts to my own kids over time. But I tell them the main gift they will receive is not having to support their mother and I in our dotage.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:19 pm to bhtigerfan
quote:
Are you a bad person for “expecting” some inheritance from a wealthy family member if you have a good relationship with them?
I think expecting something is pretty natural. Honestly if its a parent, they should have these conversations with their kids if they have enough money for it to matter.
I don't need my parents money and have told them to spend it on whatever they want before they die.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:20 pm to bhtigerfan
I’d encourage anyone wanting the help children and grandchildren to do so while they are alive and the children are young enough to need the help. Most parents die when their kids already have lives/savings/etc.
Give them a downpayment for a house when they are young, help them put kids thru college. Then spend everything you have enjoying life.
Just my take.
Give them a downpayment for a house when they are young, help them put kids thru college. Then spend everything you have enjoying life.
Just my take.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:23 pm to bhtigerfan
quote:
Are you a bad person for “expecting” some inheritance from a wealthy family member if you have a good relationship with them?
Yes.
Expecting anything you didn’t earn is wrong.
Your parents gave you life and raised you- anything past that is gravy.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:24 pm to bhtigerfan
It should go to whoever earned it wants it to go to. It's their money.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:25 pm to Cuz413
quote:I’d say it depends on how much you have and also what kind of relationship you have with each of them.
How much would you expect from them?
If all I have is a half mil and 4 kids, odds are my nieces and nephews are getting anything. If I've got several million, I think I could help pay off some debts for the ones close to me.
Reward the good ones, not so much for the bad ones.
Personally I think your children should receive the bulk of your inheritance, then the grandchildren if you have a good relationship with them.
Your college age liberal granddaughter that thinks you’re a racist old white man that exploited his workers to get rich? frick her, she gets nothing.
Your college age grandson that visits you often and enjoys hanging out with you, reward him.
Same with your children.
This post was edited on 11/18/25 at 2:33 pm
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:25 pm to bhtigerfan
My stuff is going to my kids. If I lose this wife somehow I’m done with the marriage bs.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:28 pm to Dawgfanman
quote:Yeah, give them help when they’re younger and need it the most.
Give them a downpayment for a house when they are young, help them put kids thru college.
I can set them up to be financially secure in their later years.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:31 pm to bhtigerfan
A parent who raised their child(ren) to adulthood owes their child(ren) nothing. If an adult believes they are entitled to their parents sucess means they were not raised properly. No adult deserves the right to tell another adult what to do with their money. I had aunts and uncles waiting on my grandparents to die so they could plan the second half of their life....as a child, I knew that was wrong. I have always told my parents do what you want with your money and remind them all the time that they can't take it with them.
Now, would I absouletly love it if they decided to leave me some money, Hell yes. It would be awesome, I could be less stressed and help pay for my kids stuff. Now do I expect it and would I think any less of them if they left me zero? Hell no, I love my parents and they did a great job raising me so I could go out in this world and make it for myself and live my own life. For me to expect anything more from them at this stage in life is bonkers to me.
Now, would I absouletly love it if they decided to leave me some money, Hell yes. It would be awesome, I could be less stressed and help pay for my kids stuff. Now do I expect it and would I think any less of them if they left me zero? Hell no, I love my parents and they did a great job raising me so I could go out in this world and make it for myself and live my own life. For me to expect anything more from them at this stage in life is bonkers to me.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:31 pm to bhtigerfan
EXPECTING? yes, you are an entitled arse if you EXPECT anything.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:32 pm to SallysHuman
quote:No it’s not.
Expecting anything you didn’t earn is wrong.
And I say this as someone who will never receive an inheritance.
You’re telling me that if your parents were worth $20 million and they left it all to charity that you wouldn’t be the least bit disappointed or upset?
You must be wealthy yourself and don’t need it if you honestly believe that.
But sorry to tell you, most people who aren’t wealthy would be very disappointed if their wealthy parents left them nothing.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:34 pm to bhtigerfan
I guess this depends on a lot of variables.
An offspring who had a life and education handed to them and went away to live elsewhere with minimal connection home is one example.
A child who worked for career development without draining family resources and then stayed to help parents in their old age would be completely different.
Family should take care of family, but sometimes the default position may not be so compelling.
Each of us should sit and carefully discern what is equitable - without regard for a recent relationship.
An offspring who had a life and education handed to them and went away to live elsewhere with minimal connection home is one example.
A child who worked for career development without draining family resources and then stayed to help parents in their old age would be completely different.
Family should take care of family, but sometimes the default position may not be so compelling.
Each of us should sit and carefully discern what is equitable - without regard for a recent relationship.
Posted on 11/18/25 at 2:35 pm to bhtigerfan
quote:
You’re telling me that if your parents were worth $20 million and they left it all to charity that you wouldn’t be the least bit disappointed or upset?
Of course I would be, and I'd be wrong... but human.
quote:
You must be wealthy yourself and don’t need it if you honestly believe that.
Far from wealthy, also far from needing inheritance. Maybe it helps that I know we aren't getting anything from either of our families.
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