Me, when the receipt actually prints @ the pump at the gas station.

I assume my chauffeur experiences a similar sentiment.

Me when it doesn’t print

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The guy who embalms you could afterwards open an Ace Hardware.

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Expensive steel in there.

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Actually, probably titanium. A good friend of mine retired from the medical sales division of Striker and he sold tons of stuff for hips, knees, shoulders, spines, etc. over the years.

I was at his house one day and he broke out some of the stuff he sells and I remember him telling me a single screw was in the neighborhood of $500 like the ones used to hold that ankle together.

I've now got 2 in my right ankle and 2 in my right knee.

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The guy who embalms you could afterwards open an Ace Hardware

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There is so much metal there, the person could forecast a storm two weeks out by the change in pain or numbness in his foot.

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me a single screw was in the neighborhood of $500 like the ones used to hold that ankle together. I've now got 2 in my right ankle and 2 in my right knee.


Cool. You can call yourself the $2000 man.

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I learned from Dexter Original Sin (not my actual career in law enforcement) that those screws only come in pairs and have unique serial numbers. They also don't melt in an incinerator

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Don’t let anyone do an MRI on you…..you’ll get tied in a knot!

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Ti is paramagnetic so generally a non-issue in an MRI.

Shell has taken all of my business no matter how expensive because they email me a receipt all from the same number. When expense report time comes, I open the text from "Shell Receipts", click a bunch of links, and print. I did have one time where the bookkeeper sheepishly came into my office and explained they could not cover my Sourpatch Kids. Turns out it texts convenience store purchases.

Why do you need a printed receipt? Is this 1999?

TSA full body cavity search incoming