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Message
Dog dementia - when to let go
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:09 pm
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:09 pm
Need the sage advice of the OT - Have a 15 year old dog that seems to have early-mid stage dog dementia. Having trouble figuring out if I’m being selfish in keeping him going or would be selfish in letting him go.
The good parts - He eats and drinks like a champ. Gets excited when the family comes home, gets up to greet us, tail wagging. Still loves pets and ear scratches.
The bad parts - He’s 80% blind and deaf. He lies/sleeps in his bed 95% of the day. His back isn’t great - not limping but walks with a weird arch.
Most importantly, he goes through phases where he pisses and shits at random places in the house. He’ll have just been outside and then drop down a shite next to the dinner table. No whines, just goes. This morning, I hear him get up so I get up to take him out but need to go myself first. In the 20 seconds I take, I hear a whine and come out to him pissing in the middle of the bedroom. I pick him up he’s still going in mid air. Used to be if he got caught he’d stop immediately.
The hard part is he’ll randomly improve and not do it for 2 weeks. Then he does it 3 days in a row.
On the dementia, when coming back from being outside he’ll walk up to a random wall and just stand there face to the wall. Even when he gets to the door, it’s like he doesn’t understand how to get around it. Sometimes have to pick him up to get him to figure it out. Then there’s times he starts incessantly digging at his bed in the middle of the night, waking us up.
To make matters worse, we’re moving next month. I’m worried that the stress of moving is going to make all this worse, that’s even if he can find his way outside in a new house.
I keep coming back to he’s happy and eating great, so I can’t stomach putting him down. But then I think if this was a farm, he’d have been put down years ago. So what’s the OT ruling here?
The good parts - He eats and drinks like a champ. Gets excited when the family comes home, gets up to greet us, tail wagging. Still loves pets and ear scratches.
The bad parts - He’s 80% blind and deaf. He lies/sleeps in his bed 95% of the day. His back isn’t great - not limping but walks with a weird arch.
Most importantly, he goes through phases where he pisses and shits at random places in the house. He’ll have just been outside and then drop down a shite next to the dinner table. No whines, just goes. This morning, I hear him get up so I get up to take him out but need to go myself first. In the 20 seconds I take, I hear a whine and come out to him pissing in the middle of the bedroom. I pick him up he’s still going in mid air. Used to be if he got caught he’d stop immediately.
The hard part is he’ll randomly improve and not do it for 2 weeks. Then he does it 3 days in a row.
On the dementia, when coming back from being outside he’ll walk up to a random wall and just stand there face to the wall. Even when he gets to the door, it’s like he doesn’t understand how to get around it. Sometimes have to pick him up to get him to figure it out. Then there’s times he starts incessantly digging at his bed in the middle of the night, waking us up.
To make matters worse, we’re moving next month. I’m worried that the stress of moving is going to make all this worse, that’s even if he can find his way outside in a new house.
I keep coming back to he’s happy and eating great, so I can’t stomach putting him down. But then I think if this was a farm, he’d have been put down years ago. So what’s the OT ruling here?
This post was edited on 7/8/25 at 5:11 pm
47
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:11 pm to TigahXX713
I've been there and feel your pain. When it's time, you'll know.
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:11 pm to TigahXX713
Try CBD oil
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:16 pm to TechBullDawg
This is correct. A very tough call though. One of the hardest things you will ever do.
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:16 pm to TigahXX713
He’s not going to get better
Sometimes it’s better to pull the plug before the real suffering begins even though it’s hard
Sometimes it’s better to pull the plug before the real suffering begins even though it’s hard
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:18 pm to TigahXX713
What does your vet say?
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:21 pm to TigahXX713
When you have to ask, it's usually past time. I didn't read your whole post though. I'm sorry for your loss.
I had to do this to my last dog, he was perfectly healthy physically but had whatever the dog version of alzheimer's was, about a 15 year old beagle. Became fearful, would urinate if you approached him, getting lost in his own fenced in backyard, just to name a few things. When you know you know, and it sounds like you know, you are just seeking validation. I offer you my validation, for whatever you value that.
I had to do this to my last dog, he was perfectly healthy physically but had whatever the dog version of alzheimer's was, about a 15 year old beagle. Became fearful, would urinate if you approached him, getting lost in his own fenced in backyard, just to name a few things. When you know you know, and it sounds like you know, you are just seeking validation. I offer you my validation, for whatever you value that.
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:21 pm to TigahXX713
if you're asking, its time....hard to do if you haven't done it before
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:21 pm to TigahXX713
I’d have a hard time putting him down if he wasn’t suffering
I’d talk to your vet about your concerns & go from there
Best of luck, I know this isn’t an easy decision to make
I’d talk to your vet about your concerns & go from there
Best of luck, I know this isn’t an easy decision to make
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:22 pm to TigahXX713
You will know, but you will still try and convince yourself otherwise.
I had a similar situation last year with our 16 yr old dog. Looking back, I waited a week longer than I should have and have that regret still.
When you know, just do it.
I had a similar situation last year with our 16 yr old dog. Looking back, I waited a week longer than I should have and have that regret still.
When you know, just do it.
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:29 pm to TigahXX713
How much is he still enjoying life? Can you tolerate the occasional setbacks?
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:31 pm to TigahXX713
Dealing with this right now with a 16 year old pup. I've told my wife, when he starts to labor or struggle at all, then we know that it's time. 
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:31 pm to TigahXX713
quote:
On the dementia, when coming back from being outside he’ll walk up to a random wall and just stand there face to the wall. Even when he gets to the door, it’s like he doesn’t understand how to get around it. Sometimes have to pick him up to get him to figure it out.
Our vet called it ‘cornering’. He said it has to do with loss of brain function and peripheral vision. We put down a 15 year old about 5 years ago- wet kennel every day, had to practically dump her out of the kennel to get her to go out, ok appetite but not great. Vet said ‘take your time, but it’s not going to get better’ so we just bit the bullet and did it
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:34 pm to TigahXX713
quote:
pisses and shits at random places
just stand there face to the wall
Man, my ex had a dog like that. Had seizures as well; yeah, that was fun to deal with. She flat out refused to even discuss what clearly needed to happen. Felt like I kept Georgia Pacific in business for a few years with all the paper towels I went through cleaning it all up. I felt sorry for the dog and resented the frick out of her selfishness in keeping him alive when he was clearly miserable. He thankfully finally died. Don’t be like my crazy ex.
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:35 pm to TigahXX713
I’ve got one I’m dealing with too, we are going to the Vet next week and see what they say.
I think mine has congestive heart failure or something, he struggles to breathe at times.
And has one eye that has started getting cockeyed to the other.
My best friend for 13 years, I don’t know if I can do it if they suggest putting him down.
I think mine has congestive heart failure or something, he struggles to breathe at times.
And has one eye that has started getting cockeyed to the other.
My best friend for 13 years, I don’t know if I can do it if they suggest putting him down.
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:36 pm to TigahXX713
I would say it’s time. Mine lived until he was almost 19 and I probably should have done it a year prior. It’s excruciating but if you have to ask it’s the right decision.
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:37 pm to TigahXX713
quote:
The good parts - He eats and drinks like a champ. Gets excited when the family comes home, gets up to greet us, tail wagging. Still loves pets and ear scratches.
Not time. You’ll know.
He’s just doing what advanced senior dogs do.
He still enjoys your company and eating and drinking and is still joyful.
You’ll absolutely know when it’s time.
Don’t hold on for selfish reasons, but also don’t let go for selfish reasons.
He’s still ‘with it’ based on what you’ve said.
This post was edited on 7/8/25 at 5:41 pm
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:43 pm to TigahXX713
I’m in the same boat and have been for a few years. I wish I had put mine down back then when it was first kicking in. But like you, I just can’t get to the point where it feels necessary. How can I put my dog down out of inconvenience?
Her life is a shell and she’s really needy. But her elderly needs are just part of the routine now, so we deal as best we can.
If you’re moving, I would make the decision to end things. It’s only going to be more stress for your pup.
God speed.
Her life is a shell and she’s really needy. But her elderly needs are just part of the routine now, so we deal as best we can.
If you’re moving, I would make the decision to end things. It’s only going to be more stress for your pup.
God speed.
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:47 pm to TigahXX713
quote:
On the dementia, when coming back from being outside he’ll walk up to a random wall and just stand there face to the wall. Even when he gets to the door, it’s like he doesn’t understand how to get around it
Been there done that, mine would get stuck in the crack of the door like waiting for you to open it. Then the walking in circles started...he would basically do laps around the coffee table in the living room. It didn't matter where you put him he went right back to it...nonstop...for hours.
Your dog may just be having old age catch up...mine developed full blown Canine Cognitive Disorder...actual dog Alzheimer's. No medications worked. He eventually forgot to eat from a bowl and had to be hand fed. I knew it was time when he forgot how to drink water.
It was rough.
I feel for you.
Posted on 7/8/25 at 5:52 pm to StringedInstruments
quote:
If you’re moving, I would make the decision to end things. It’s only going to be more stress for your pup.
If dogs are anything like their human friends, then yes this is 100% correct. I have dealt with three family members with dementia and just taking a drive to the doctor would set them back big time. I have always described the ruthless effects of dementia like stair steps. They plateau for a bit, go down, plateau a bit, go down, over and over....but never have an up step.
Pray about it and do what your heart and gut tell you to do.
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