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re: The goal of many Gen Z and millennial women is now to be a DINK—dual income and no kids
Posted on 5/4/24 at 11:27 am to RAB
Posted on 5/4/24 at 11:27 am to RAB
quote:
I don't have to experience jumping out of an airplane without a parachute to know that it won't end well.
I think I'd just grab a parachute if I knew I was going to be jumping out of an airplane.
1
Posted on 5/4/24 at 11:27 am to Dawgfanman
quote:
Church preK (4 hours a day) in my town costs 200 a month
Yeah good luck trying to fit in a work schedule on that.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 11:43 am to NYNolaguy1
Luckily full time daycare is only a 3-4 yr deal and it goes way down when they get in school.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 11:45 am to RAB
quote:or maybe this wont happen and they will live a happy life with their partner enjoying their own independent life choices that they are more than suitable to make for themselves as adults
’m only saying that at some point things aren’t as shiny as they once were. Then right after that menopause hits, the body starts to wear out, and the next thing you know, some “special nephew” is your power of attorney responsible for choosing the nursing facility where you’ll spend the remainder of your cognizant months bemoaning your meaningless existence.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 11:53 am to Dawgfanman
quote:
People drastically overstate their “needs” when most of it is simply their “wants”. I think this is probably the case with many of the DINKs in the OP who said they couldn’t “afford” children. If they really wanted them, they’d figure it out. It’s ok that they don’t want kids, but no reason to act like they are only choosing that path for financial reasons.
“They’d figure it out”
What does this mean, exactly? Go back to school? Change majors? Work 60 hours a week instead of 40? Maybe people don’t want to do that. I also cannot understand why it offends so many people that they say financially they can’t “afford” them.
A better choice is, they don’t want to spend their money on kids. They’d rather do other shite with that money. And that’s totally OK.
Some people, like myself, see kids as vastly overrated. Good for other people having kids. Hope they raise them right, they’re the future, it’s just not for me. I think it’s a stupid cultural norm that everyone must have kids always or else they’re “party people” and must be unfulfilled and unhappy. The south is really dumb in this respect.
People without kids spend a lot less time scoffing at those with kids than vice versa.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 11:56 am to TN Tygah
quote:
Some people, like myself, see kids as vastly overrated
We are extremely grateful you'll never have any.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:00 pm to TN Tygah
quote:
Some people, like myself, see kids as vastly overrated.
How do you know that they are if you don’t have them?
quote:
People without kids spend a lot less time scoffing at those with kids than vice versa.
Eh. They’re an awful lot of DINKs and plain NKs who give off that “vegan” vibe in that they’re definitely going to tell you that they are choosing not to have kids and show how they’re spending their money instead. They even have their own social media memes.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:03 pm to TN Tygah
quote:
What does this mean, exactly? Go back to school? Change majors? Work 60 hours a week instead of 40? Maybe people don’t want to do that.
We agree they don’t WANT to do that. And that’s perfectly ok.
quote:
A better choice is, they don’t want to spend their money on kids. They’d rather do other shite with that money. And that’s totally OK.
Again we agree.
But this thread started about people who are choosing to not have kids who, at least in large part, said they CANT afford kids, not that they don’t WANT to afford kids.
quote:
Some people, like myself, see kids as vastly overrated. Good for other people having kids. Hope they raise them right, they’re the future, it’s just not for me. I think it’s a stupid cultural norm that everyone must have kids always or else they’re “party people” and must be unfulfilled and unhappy. The south is really dumb in this respect.
I haven’t said any of that, maybe others have. I said many of those who said they CANT afford kids could in fact do so by not take as many vacations, living in a smaller home, and/or getting cheaper cars. Most of them don’t want to, that’s ok. Them saying they CANT implies that it’s impossible, it isn’t. Look how many truly poor people have kids. The govt literally subsidizes children for all but the upper middle class and above.
quote:
People without kids spend a lot less time scoffing at those with kids than vice versa.
I’m not sure about that but we all have our own experiences.
This post was edited on 5/4/24 at 12:04 pm
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:06 pm to Mo Jeaux
quote:
Eh. They’re an awful lot of DINKs and plain NKs who give off that “vegan” vibe in that they’re definitely going to tell you that they are choosing not to have kids and show how they’re spending their money instead. They even have their own social media memes.
People are self-centered, independent of their parental status.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:06 pm to TN Tygah
quote:Reread this moronic statement a couple of times and amend if necessary. Otherwise, if you stand by it, you’re a moron who wants the human race to go away.
Some people, like myself, see kids as vastly overrated.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:07 pm to RogerTheShrubber
I'm not really a materialistic person, so having less disposable income due to children never really bothered me much.
My wife and I were always pretty adaptable and willing to adjust our lifestyle as necessary. We were pretty broke when the kids were young, but that didn't last long. We started making more money in our 30s, the kids got out of full time daycare etc.
My wife and I were always pretty adaptable and willing to adjust our lifestyle as necessary. We were pretty broke when the kids were young, but that didn't last long. We started making more money in our 30s, the kids got out of full time daycare etc.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:12 pm to CollegeFBRules
quote:
This is ridiculous. You do realize you can still be a good, involved parent even if you use the services of a daycare, right?
sorry, but there's no way around your illogic. if your kid spends most of the time with someone else, they are the parent. you can fight it and try to rationalize it all you want to, but you are derelict in your duties. kids need love, lots and all the time, a stranger cannot love your kid like they need.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:14 pm to lsunurse
quote:
the thread is about DINKs
Meaning many of these women do want a partner in life….they just don’t want kids
Given the state of the American legal system I don't understand what the incentive is to assume the risk of marriage unless you are having children.
I grant there will be exceptions but the institution wasn't designed for happiness or love. It was designed for stability and children to be both financially and emotionally protected.
Sacrifice is typically involved for both parents when they do it right. Most people wouldn't prefer to work long hours or suffer the obnoxious teenagers or three year olds if they didn't develop into functional people.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:14 pm to DisplacedBuckeye
The number of people we call heroes for their benign life choices is the participation trophy of adulthood.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:14 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:
I'm not really a materialistic person, so having less disposable income due to children never really bothered me much.
Exactly. People making excuses for not having kids just dont want kids.
If you want kids, you'll make room for them.
Its actually the upper middle class and wealthy not having kids. I think the "it cost too much" bullshite is just that, bullshite. I think many of these young adults just want to continue their college lifestyle until death.
This post was edited on 5/4/24 at 12:19 pm
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:15 pm to Upperdecker
quote:
There’s 168 hours in a week. Daycare is roughly 40 hours. Who do you think is taking care of them the rest of the time? Idiot
kids sleep 12 hrs a day, there goes 84 of your hours. idiot.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:21 pm to GRTiger
quote:
The number of people we call heroes for their benign life choices is the participation trophy of adulthood.
Norm Macdonald's bit on teachers is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:22 pm to DisplacedBuckeye
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:22 pm to Masterag
quote:
kids sleep 12 hrs a day, there goes 84 of your hours. idiot.
My first spent almost 1 year in daycare. My wife would drop him off and I’d pick him up. We both worked full time professional jobs. He’d be asleep when we left him and asleep when I picked him up. During that winter it was dark each time (and if you work 8 hours they are there more like 10-12 hours a day as 8 hour days are really 9 + commute time.) we just couldn’t keep doing it, it felt wrong. When the second one was born it really wouldn’t have made sense. We adapted. Refinanced house, paid down debt, I got new skills and a promotion. Wife found part time work to replace some of her income. Parents and aunts helped when they could.
Not shitting on people who use daycare but I just couldn’t.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 12:26 pm to RogerTheShrubber
quote:
I think many of these young adults just want to continue their college lifestyle until death.
We partied pretty hard post college and when my wife and I were dating, but most people tend to grow out of that lifestyle, kids just accelerate this.
I work with a few people in their mid 30s that live like they are 22. It's an interesting phenomenon. 36 year old man children. They play video games until 1am, sleep until 1pm on the weekends
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